There are times that I really struggle to hold my tongue.
On the train this morning I had to endure an emo guy informing one of his friends about English history. Highlights of his lecture included…
- ‘One of’ the King Georges went mad from Syphillus.
- The Saxons were French. They moved to England and thus became Anglo-Saxons.
- King Henry VIII got divorced and married seven times as none of his wives could give him children.
- William the Conqueror invaded in 1045.
- Brittany, Scotland and Ireland all have exactly the same music.
- The Irish and ‘Scotch’ hate the English, while the Welsh love them (because ‘they’re on the same island’).
I was severely tempted to leap out of my seat and beat him around the head with a copy of Macaulay, but instead contented myself with the thought that a single kick would snap both of his skinny-jean clad legs like twigs.
