Music – Page 2

The Court of Ancient Grievances

Order! Order! The Court of Ancient Grievances is now in session!

It is hereby alleged that on or around the 9th of October 1998 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Thunderbirds are Coming Out by TISM contained “speculation about the sexual proclivities of the Thunderbirds puppets”, indicating that said reviewers had either not listened to the song, or when listening to the song did not pay even cursory attention to the lyrics.

It is furthermore alleged that on or around the 26th of February 2001 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated in relation to the song Heat Seeking Pleasure Machine by Paul Mac that “Paul Mac has a sexy voice”, indicating that said reviewers did not carry out any research or even bother to read the back of the CD case – both actions that would have uncovered the publicly available fact that the vocalist on said song was Tex Perkins of the Cruel Sea.

It is also alleged that on or around the 12th of June 2002 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Satisfaction by Benny Benassi was a cover of the Rolling Stones song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, indicating that said reviewers either failed to listen to the Benny Benassi song, failed to listen to the Rolling Stones song, or equally likely failed to listen to either.

Therefore, it is the opinion of this court that the music reviewers of the Sunday Times between the years 1998 and 2002 were a bunch of complete fart-artists labouring under the weight of a total and systemic contempt for music, the music listening public and their responsibilities as employees of the Sunday Times.

How plead the defendants?

(Note: The Court of Ancient Grievances acknowledges that this all happened a long time ago, and that it might in fact have been the music reviewers of the West Australian Newspaper who carried out these crimes against fact. If so, the Court apologises unreservedly to the music reviewers of the Sunday Times who presumably did not have their heads completely up their arses.)

Buckley’s or None

Stumbled over this YouTube channel the other day…

I like this guy. Not only do his musical prejudices match mine but he sounds like a Canadian version of Randal from Clerks. Additionally there’s some real intelligence and thoughtful analysis behind all the snark.

Not safe for work, both on the basis of Buckley’s language and the truly awful music he highlights.

Also, is it just me, or does Beez in the Trap by Nicky Minaj sound exactly like Slap My Elbow by S’Mouse?

Sigh

The old anxiety/depression is hitting me hard this week. Mostly because I’ve got a number of really important jobs to get done at work and all of them are taking far longer than they should. It’s a struggle to get out of bed each morning because I’d much rather hide under the covers and call in sick. But hey, what can you do?

On another subject, I’m no great fan of this…

But can’t get enough of this…

I’m clearly insane!

Power Down Under

Since we seem to be on a kick of posting songs rather than writing anything, here are some fantastic Australian tracks from the 1980s that you might have forgotten…

The Church – I’m Almost With You
Mondo Rock – Cool World
Mental As Anything – Live it Up
Boom Crash Opera – Dancing in the Storm

Power Down

That’s a whole lotta Bach

Well, after yesterday’s (more or less) metal extravaganza, some relaxation is probably in order. So here’s some nice, soothing music with no mention of vikings, axes, pirates, blood, Gnaeus Julius Agricola or the Earth perishing in flames…

Bach – Prelude to Cello Suite No. 1
Vivaldi – Winter II Largo
Bach – Air on the G String
Bach – Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata
Pixies – Here Comes Your Man
Falling Joys – Lock it

Power Up

I’ve probably mentioned most of these tracks at some point or other, but I’m having a rough day at work and needed some pumping up, so here they are again…

Cro Magnon – Caledonia
Laibach – B Mashina
Tanzwut – Tocatta
Course of Empire – The Information
Amon Amarth – Valhall Awaits Me
Alestorm – Wolves of the Sea

Sure, after listening to all of those you’ll probably feel like punching someone, but that’s arguably better than wanting to fall asleep 🙂

Mock My Taste!

Every song marked with five stars in my iTunes…

3 A.M. Eternal (Live At The S.S.L.) – The KLF
All Along the Watchtower – Bear McCreary
America, What Time is Love? – The KLF
Ana Ng – They Might Be Giants
And God Created Brixton – Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
Angel of Harlem – U2
Annie Waits – Ben Folds
Arrival of the Queen of Sheba (Solomon) – Handel
At the Bottom of Everthing – Bright Eyes
Bomb the World (Armageddon Version) – Michael Franti and Spearhead
Bus to Beelzebub – Soul Coughing
Canon – Funtwo
Carribean Blue – Enya
Copperhead Road – Steve Earl
Dancing Queen – ABBA
Det Snurrar I Min Skalle – Familjen
Experimental Film – They Might Be Giants
Gimme Sympathy – Metric
Girl Anachronism – The Dresdon Dolls
Girl From Mars – Ash
Gloria in Excelsis Deo – Vivaldi
Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac
Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
Heaven – DJ Sammy
Hold On – Tom Waits
How Soon is Now – The Smiths
Hymn to Her (7″) – Pretenders
Janie’s Got a Gun – Aerosmith
Last Train to Trancentral (LP Mix) – The KLF
Lock It (I Really Like You) – Falling Joys
Man it’s so Loud in Here – They Might Be Giants
Palaces of Montezuma – Grinderman
Read to Me – B(if)tek
Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) – Kate Bush
Santa Monica – Everclear
Scrub – Shivaree
Serenity – David Newman
Shining Light – Ash
Something Dark is Coming – Bear McCreary
Stone Me Into the Groove – Atomic Swing
Summer Rain – Belinda Carlisle
Sweet Child o’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
Take on Me – A-Ha
Temple of Love (Touched by the Hand of Orfa Hazra) – Sisters of Mercy
Tender is the Night (The Long Fidelity) – The Triffids
The Jeep Song – The Dresden Dolls
The Shape of Things to Come – Bear McCreary
The Winner Takes it All – The Black Sweden
This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home – Murray Gold
Throw Your Arms Around Me – Hunters and Collectors
Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
True Dreams of Wichita (Live, Boston, 10-15-1996) – Soul Coughing
Walk Like a Man – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
Waterloo – ABBA
What’s He Building in There – Tom Waits
What Time is Love? (LP Mix) – The KLF
Wichita Lineman Was a Song I Once Heard – The KLF
Wickerman – Pulp
Wide Open Road – The Triffids
Winter (Second Movement) – Vivaldi

There’s still about 90% of my music collection to be ranked…

Saint Anger

Hahahahah! Eat me Lars!

Saint Anger was the angriest of all the Saints,
Much angrier than Saint Francis of Assisi,
Or Saint Cuthbert the Kind,
Saint Anger used to steal the other Saints’ Bibles,
And punch little children in the face,
And when they cried he didn’t mind…

I didn’t write that. It’s from a song called Saint Anger which predates Metallica’s rather dismal work of the same name by several decades. The thing is, I only know that much of it and have no idea who sang it, and it doesn’t seem to exist on the internet at all. So I’m putting it here, lest the tale of Saint Anger vanish completely from the world.

Soundalikes

PAY FOR THE BLOODY SONG!

There are two ads that are really annoying me at the moment. Not because of the products they’re advertising (although car ads, as these are, annoy me anyway), and not because of the inane claims they make about said cars (because you really need a racing pedigree engine to run down to the shops), but because of their music.

Both adds use absolutely blatent soundalikes.

A soundalike is what you get when an advertising executive decides they want to use a particular song in their ad but are refused permission by the artist, or simply don’t want to pay for the rights. So they hire some poor schlob to write and record a song that’s close enough to the orignal to sound like it while being just different enough to avoid lawsuits.

Basically it’s a legal way of bastardising a song for commercial purposes.

The songs ripped off in these two ads are Disarm by the Smashing Pumpkins, and Packing Blankets by the Eels. Disarm – being a fine example of the Pumpkins’ bleak milieu – may seem like an odd choice for advertising anything apart from selective seretonin reuptake inhibitors, but they’ve ripped off the power chords and matched them with moody shots of their pestilential vehicle while a serious voice over person makes pretentious statements about how seriously awesome it is. The Packing Blankets add is full of shots of happy families driving to the beach and having picnics and things, with the car front and centre in each shot.

Both ads drive me to distraction. I find myself yelling “PAY FOR THE BLOODY SONG YOU BASTARDS!” at the TV every time they come on.

It’s my problem. I’ll have to deal with it.

Later: OK, the ad that rips off the Eels is actually for a land development up at Alkimos. Shows how well it held my attention doesn’t it?