The Torgo Test

Take the following test to see if you are Torgo!

How big are your knees?
A: Average
B: Large
C: Huge
D: So big I can hardly walk

How often do you repeat your sentences?
A: Never
B: Occasionally
C: Frequently
D: All the time… All the time…

What sized dogs do you like?
A: Small
B: Medium
C: Large
D: Frighteningly Huge

What would be your favoured form of accoutrement?
A: A nice pair of shoes
B: A battered, wide-brimed hat
C: Baggy trousers with plenty of knee room
D: A creepy staff with a skeletal hand on the top

Where is the Master?
A: Who?
B: Dead
C: Dead, but not as we know death
D: The Master is Away

How often do you often hear an annoying, jangling, repetitive musical phrase?
A: Never
B: Occasionly
C: Constantly, and it’s driving me nuts!
D: Constantly, for such is the will of the Master

SCORING
Mostly As: You are not Torgo.
Mostly Bs: You are not Torgo. Yet.
Mostly Cs: You might be Torgo.
Mostly Ds: You should be looking after the place while the Master is Away! Not taking online tests!

Torgo Spotters’ Guide

Not in the least bit true

Torgo features as the main villain in the following episodes of the classic series.

Torgo, Torgo’s Invasion of Earth, The Chase (Featuring Torgo), Torgo’s Master Plan, The Power of Torgo, The Evil of Torgo, The Day of Torgo, The Planet of Torgo, Death to Torgo, The Genesis of Torgo, The Destiny of Torgo, The Resurrection of Torgo, The Revelation of Torgo, and The Rememberance of Torgo.

He also briefly appears in a number of other episodes including The Hand Museum.

The appearance of his knees varied over time. In the earliest episodes the knees were primitive metal attachments that required manual operation by the actor. By the 1980s they were remote controlled by a stagehand, allowing the actor to concentrate on looking shifty and spouting ridiculous lines of dialogue in a halting voice.

(An actual sensible entry will probably be made later in the week)

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