Dear Bumblepuss,
(May I address you as ‘Bumblepuss’? I ask only out of form, as your opinion on the matter of being addressed as ‘Bumblepuss’ is entirely immaterial as I am firmly resolved to address you as such regardless of your actual thoughts on the matter. Additionally – now I think of it – there is not the slightest trace of affection towards you to be found anywhere within my heart or soul, so ‘dear’ is in your case as inaccurate a form of address as ‘Your Royal Highness’, ‘My Learned Friend’ or ‘Archbishop of Titipu’.)
Bumblepuss,
In reference to your recent unsolicited text message. I shall consider voting for the United Australia Party some time after hell freezes over, and no amount of (regrettably legal) text messages will change my mind on this matter.
Yours with loathing
Denys P. Wyrm
PS: Quit it with the Ivermectin nonsense too.
