Tag: Game of Thrones

The Gods Hate Trees!

I’m quite ill at the moment, which is probably why I think this is an amusing idea…

Westeros Baptist Church

News Release

THANK THE SEVEN FOR THE DEATH OF JOFFREY BARATHEON!
WBC TO PICKET THE FUNERAL OF ‘KING’ JOFFREY
The Royal Court is classifying the death of Joffrey Baratheon as an assassination orchestrated by Tyrion ‘The Imp’ Lannister, but the fact is THE SEVEN POISONED HIS CHALICE. How many more terrifying ways will you have the Seven injure and kill your fellow Andals because you insist on tolerating race-dooming, filthy, tree worship?! The Seven placed their stars on the forehead of Hugor of the Hill and commanded submission, not supplication of trees, drowned corpses and demonic fire gods, and will take vengeance! The Baratheons invited special wrath with their willful association with heathen Northmen and Ironmen and blasphemous pagans from across the Narrow Sea. As a direct result of this continuing slide towards depravity the Seven sent poisoned wine to the royal wedding feast. Your callous, defiant sin now leaves the Seven Kingdoms without a Ruler! SEE YE THE BLADE AND WHO HATH WEILDED IT Westeros! What sorrow! What lamentation! What Woe!

THE GODS HATE TREES!

Bronchial Adventures

Well, this is fun. I’ve had a dry, itchy cough since before Christmas. This week it decided it would be better accommodated by my lungs, moved downwards and turned into bronchitis. On the plus side I’ve got a few days off work. On the downside my body seems to have decided that the best method to get rid of the infection is to get rid of my lungs entirely, and is attempting to cough them up on a regular basis.

I’ve been to the docs (happily I had booked an appointment to get the dry, itchy cough looked at before it went feral on me) and have been prescribed rest and a five day series of antibiotic pills the size of twenty-sided dice, so I should come up smiling on Tuesday morning.

In the meantime I’ve been working on painting my Cyclops Demolition Vehicle and watching a rather good documentary on H.P.Lovecraft up on ABC iView, so all’s well that ends well (assuming I do end up well – if not, I’ve got a repeat script on the giant pills).

Oh yeah, this is new. I bought a copy of the Game of Thrones board game. Hopefully I can introduce the guys to it soon, so Fabian can wipe the floor with us all. I’ve got a half a mind to try playing as the Starks, as it looks like an interesting challenge… I’ve also read my way through the first three books, and am now onto part II of Storm of Swords. I found Part I hard going at a few points, but it picked up at the end and I can’t wait to see just how awful the Martells turn out to be (just about everyone in Westeros is awful, it’s merely a matter of degree ;))

That’s it for now. Got some coughing to do…

Douchiest. Prince. Ever.

Hodor!

Having just finished reading A Game of Thrones I find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with the last panel of the Oatmeal’s I tried to watch Game of Thrones and this is what happened comic (note: extremely creative adult language ahoy).

Looking forwards to the next book immensely. I may even buy that bundled set of all of them.

Um…. Hodor!

Winter is Coming

Earlier this week I had the singular pleasure of playing the Game of Thrones board game with a bunch of Paula and Bek’s friends. It was a fun afternoon, made even more fun by the fact that I – as House Tyrell – stumbled my way through to winning. I ascribe my victory to the following factors…

1: Keeping a low profile and not attacking any of the other players until well into the game.
2: It was the first time any of us had played, so we were all learning the rules as we went along.
3: A very opportune Westeros card came along at just the right moment to break House Baratheon’s defensive strategy and let me grab Kings Landing.

If we play again I don’t expect to win so easily 🙂

I have been thinking about the game since however, and have come up with what could be an interesting variant (or a horrible, horrible travesty). The game as it stands doesn’t do anything with the seasons of Westeros. I think it could be interesting to play a game where Winter is most definitely coming…

New Rules

* These rules come into effect at the start of Turn Six or (OPTIONAL) as soon as a “Winter is Coming” Westeros card is revealed.
* At the start of every Westeros Phase, before the cards are drawn, the Wildling track is automatically advanced by one.
* Territories with Supply and Consolidate icons lose them at a rate of 1 per turn (if a territory has both Supply and Consolidate icons, it loses one of each).
* Supply is recalculated at the end of every Westeros Phase.
* Players may pay Power Tokens to prevent their supply counter from being moved down the Supply track at a rate of 1 Token for 1 level. For example, if House Lanister’s Supply Counter is going to be moved three places down the track, they can pay three Tokens to leave it where it is, two Tokens for it to move down one place, or one Token for it to move down two places. Tokens CANNOT be used to move the counter up the track.
* OPTIONAL RULE: At the start of the Westeros Phase, all counters are moved one space down the King’s Court influence track. Counters moving off the bottom of the track are removed. The Raven is retained by the holder of the highest position on the track, until only two counters are left on the track, at which point it is removed from play. Bidding for position on the track is played as normal, but bidding cannot place a counter higher than the current maximum (ie: if the tokens have moved down two spaces, then the winner of the bidding places their token on space 3).

These rules would ensure that once winter sets in, everything will go completely to hell in the most entertaining fashion 😀

Back to work on Monday. Blech.

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