A Witness Statement

On Monday September 16th 2024 at approximately 5:20pm I was a passenger on a number 41 bus from Elizabeth Quay bus station to Bayswater railway station. I was seated on the right hand side of the bus, in the fifth seat from the back (which is my habitual seat). The bus was relatively full, but there were a number of seats vacant, and no one was sitting next to me.

From behind me I heard a male voice say “Give me your bag”. The voice was insistent, but the volume was low – I initially thought it was someone not wanting to be overheard while speaking into a phone. “Give me your bag” and/or “Give me your fucking bag” were repeated two or three times total, followed by “Give me your bag or I’ll punch you”, which made me realise that it was unlikely to be someone talking on a phone.

This was followed by the sounds of a brief scuffle, including a yelp in a female voice, and an individual in a camouflage pattern hoodie (Individual 1) passed my seat at speed, carrying a woman’s handbag. He was followed by a young man in a baseball cap (Individual 2). Both men reached the rear door of the bus, where they were confronted by several other passengers, at least one woman (not the bag’s owner) loudly demanding that they give the bag back.

I do not recall exactly when the bus stopped in relation to these events, but by this point it was stationary at the Lord St After Bulwer St stop. Individual 2 grabbed the window-smashing hammer from above the door, I believe in an attempt to operate the emergency exit release. By now I had risen to my feet and was taking photographs with my phone.

The rear door of the bus then opened and the two individuals fled, running northeast along Lord Street and turning left onto either Windsor or Lincoln Streets.

A young woman (who I believe to have been accompanying the owner of the bag) made an attempt to follow the two individuals, but was dissuaded by other passengers on the basis that she would be putting herself at risk of violence. There was a fair amount of discussion between the passengers, the driver and another Transport employee who was present having been riding in the front seat to the left of the driver. I informed this employee that I had a clear photograph of Individual 2, but he indicated that the camera at the front of the bus would have captured both of them.

It was around this point that individual 2 appeared back around the corner, carrying the bag. He approached the bus, holding the bag out, placed it on the curb about 30 metres from the bus, then fled back around the corner. A passenger retrieved the bag and bought it back to the bus, where the owner checked it an confirmed that nothing seemed to be missing.

I obtained the mobile number of the bag’s owner and SMSed her the one photograph that clearly captured the face of Individual 2. She and her friend then left the bus, and the driver continued on the route.

I took a total of four photographs, one of which clearly shows the face of Individual 2, and shows him (I believe) attempting to operate the emergency exit button on the door.

Crimes

It is my deep and strongly held conviction that to play the version of Pulp’s Common People that omits the second verse IS A CRIME.

Similarly, it is my deep and strongly held conviction that to play the version of Pulp’s Disco 2000 that omits the monologue IS A CRIME.

Furthermore, it is my deep and strongly held conviction that to play any version of Pulp’s Disco 2000 and not to sing along with the “OOOOOO OO-OO OO-OO-OO-OO” bits at the end IS A CRIME.

That is all.

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