Open Source Quarto

Something more-or-less useful for once.

Over the weekend I wanted to print out a document in quarto format. That is in such a way that 8 pages are printed on the same piece of paper (both sides), it’s folded into quarters, some staples are put in the middle, the top is trimmed, and presto! You have a classy looking 8 page booklet.

Now you’d think that with the open source community’s love of all kinds of independent, home crafted, maker type stuff this would be an easy ask. But apparently not! Nowhere online could I find any program or set of instructions that could carry out the simple task of taking a word processing document and sending the contents to a printer in such a way that it could be folded into a quarto. Madness!

So, I had to figure out how to do it myself. And I thought I’d explain how for every other mad bastard out there trying to make their own booklets.

Now, these instructions are probably not the most efficient way of doing things, but the get the job done, which is the main thing. Oh, and I’m not going to explain in what order you need to arrange your pages as this will change based on how many pages you’re printing (you should be smart enough to figure this out for yourself anyway). These instructions tell you how to get four pages printed out – with the top ones upside down – on one piece of paper.

Step one – Write up your document in Open Office. I suppose you can write it in some other word processor and paste it in, but seriously, why would you be using anything else? 😉 Keep in mind that you’ll be printing out your pages at a quarter normal size, so scale your content accordingly (I found 22pt was good for body text).

Step two – Export each page of your document as a separate pdf file. Yes, this is a pain, but as I said it’s the only way I could figure out to get things to work.

Step three – Open up a new A4 Inkscape document. Drop in some guides to divide the page into quarters.

Step four – Import the first pdf file. The text and graphics will drop into the page as a single object. You’ll need to scale it down – oddly Inkscape seemed to import my pages at half size, so I only had to scale them down by a further 50%. Drag the object into the appropriate quarter of the page – if you have snap to guides enabled it should snap neatly into place.

Step five – Repeat step four until all four pages have been imported and placed. You’ll need to rotate the top two pages 180 degrees so they’ll be the right side up when folded.

There you go! Repeat the steps until all your pages are placed, and then print them out (make sure to print the rights ones back to back and the right way up). Fold them up, staple, cut, and you have your own semi-professional looking booklet.

So that’s it. An entirely open source (if you ignore the intermediate pdf step) way of printing in quarto. Get to it my little home publishing cobras of desire!

Why Piano Matters

And nothing else

I was trawling around the net the other day (as one does) and ended up on a truly atrocious website that wouldn’t have looked out of place on Geocities in 1998. Animated gifs, marquee text, 20 point Times New Roman against a tiled background that rendered it completely unreadable – a nightmare from the depths of time and sad casualty of the browser wars. I was about to close it down before it could infect my computer with blink tags when the midi file started, and I was forced to pause and figure out what the sublime piano music emerging from my speakers was.

At first I thought it might be the Moonlight Sonata, but it wasn’t. I was wracking my brain for possible other pieces when it suddenly clicked. Nothing Else Matters. By Metallica. It was a frickin’ piano cover of Metallica! And it sounded fantastic!

I was, to use the modern phrase, quite blown away.

I’ve managed to locate a similar version of the song on YouTube by one Scott D. Davis who seems to do a lot of this kind of thing. So, enjoy!

No-one Cares Enough to Hate it Anymore

The West should be Ashamed

This post from the Worst of Perth,

a) Says something really important about the decline of print news
b) Says something really important about the West Australian (although frankly it’s nothing we didn’t know already…)
c) Almost sounds like Spider Jerusalem

These can only be good things.

From the Archives

Theological rumblings from 1996

(From the far off days of 1996)

Art thou aware of ye great conspiracy? That god is in fact black? this startling fact was revealed to an awaiting humanity in 1500 AD but has been covered up by white church ministers ever since. Also revealed in the same interview was the meaning of life, the value of 1 divided by 0 and the awful truth behind the legend of the boogy man. The interview took place on July 5th 1500 in the small German town of Holzfaller. God descended in his custom built ’39 fuel injected with triple overhead cams pillar of fire and spoke with Martin Luther for about 10 minutes. The content of the interview was published, but was quickly destroyed by the church. Only a few partial copies survive. An extract of one of these follows.

ML: Now we’re speaking with God. Thanks for coming God.
G: It’s great to be here Martin.
ML: So what metaphysical truths do you have to reveal to our viewers today?
G: Well I thought I’d reveal the ultimate meaning of life.
ML: Well I’m sure our viewers will be interested in that, but before you do I’d like to take the opportunity to complement you on that suit.
G: Thanks Martin, I got it cheap at a little clothing store in Guatemala. It’s real Andean Wool you know.
ML: Really?
G: And the design is by Armani.
ML: Well, God sure is a sharp dresser. We’ll be back after these messages, when God will reveal the ultimate meaning of the universe.

The rest of the text was expurgated in 1605 by Dr John Dee, Court Astrologer to Queen Elizabeth the First. Some of it is rumoured to have been included in “As you like it” by Shakespeare, but this is doubtful.

A Played Out Picture Show

There’s nothing more boring than reading about other people’s dreams.

As is fairly normal when sleeping I had a dream last night. It was the usual incoherent mess that my dreams generally are, involving a 25th birthday party, cows, a storm, a magic book, people possessed by the spirits of ancient wizards and several episodes of Doctor Who. But it also featured a song.

In context of the dream it was by Sparklehorse, but on waking with it still in my memory it sounded a lot more like Everclear. I was able to remember one verse of it, which goes as follows…

Is it a forest in a wood? A burnt out bedroom mansion?
Is it a played out picture show? Is it a happy ending?

I have no idea what that could possibly mean, but it’s easily as good as anything Nik Kershaw ever wrote 😉

Beware of Coyotes

Off to the Gunner’s Crag

After an exhausting week at work I’ve been taking it easy this weekend. Annotating photos on Flickr, playing Fallout 3, avoiding any contact with the outside world, that kind of thing. I’m almost at the point where the idea of going in to the office tomorrow doesn’t fill me with a deep sense of dread, which is pretty good all things considered ;D

One thing I’ve been particularly enjoying for the last few weeks is Tom Siddell’s webcomic Gunnerkrigg Court. I stumbled into it via TV Tropes (Warning – Do not visit that site unless you have five or six hours to spare. It’s worse than Wikipedia…) and have been reading my way through. It’s pretty intriguing, essentially a prolonged mystery story about a very strange school full of robots, ghosts, gods, psychics and alchemical symbolism, but it’s very hard to pin down to any simple genre. And the art has gone from a bit shaky at the beginning to excellent quality in the present.

One of the things I find so fascinating about it is it takes some themes that I thought of many years back, and tried unsuccessfully to work up into a story, and runs with them in a way far, far better than I could ever have done. The Court thus fitted right into a hole in my brain that I’d been trying to fill for years (that may sound like I’m accusing Tom Siddell of stealing my thoughts. Firstly, no, and secondly, if he is then I’ll let him off in this instance since the result is so good).

So, Gunnerkrigg Court. Go check it out.

(Personally I suspect Jones is the Seed Bismuth, but what do I know?)

My Personal Hell, Where I Roast in my Shell

Roast in my shell?

It’s that wonderful time of year when it’s cold enough outside for the air conditioning to set itself to heat, but warm enough for the office not to be able to naturally shed the heat that builds up from four guys and six computers working in close proximity.

Result? Sauna time!

Bah!

The End of the Begining

I’ve avoided any political blogging for a bit because it’s all been up in the air since the election. To recap – we’ve ended up with a hung parliament with a bunch of Independents (and one Green) set to decide who’s going to form government. The Green and some of the Independents have already made their choices, leaving just three holdouts to decide the fate of the nation.

Well, today these three are set to reveal their choice. What’s interesting is that one of them – the, shall we say ‘somewhat eccentric’ Bob Katter – has broken ranks and announced that he’s supporting Tony Abbot and the Liberal/National Coalition a full hour before the scheduled press conference. This puts the Coalition and Labor neck and neck on 74 seats.

So, does this mean that the other two Independents are supporting Julia Gillard and Labor, and Katter’s decided he doesn’t want to be associated with them? Or that all three are supporting the Coalition and Bob Katter is just being Bob Katter and jumping the gun for his own Bob Katterish reasons?

Stay tuned…

Later: Katter has now said if the other two go for Labor, he might change his mind…

Later: Tony Windsor has come out for Labor (he likes Broadband and Renewable Energy). Labor leads 75 to 74. The Coalition cannot form government!

Later: Windsor is still talking. He’s never going to have an audience this big again and he’s milking it for all he can get…

Still Later: A work colleague is going to register “tonywindsorpleaseshutup.com”

Again Later: Finally. Now for Rob Oakshot.

Later Later Later: It’s “there can be only one”, get your pop-cultural references right!

Later Still: Oakshot’s as bad as Tony!

Later: We don’t care about your children! Tell us who’s PM!!

Laaaaaateeeeeer: C’mon!

LATER: This is worse than Who Wants to be a Millionaire

later later later later: You can equivocate later! Just give us a damn answer you fool!

Later: We want to go home tonight too!!

Later: i can has gubermint plz?

Later: Finally! Labor has 76 seats! Labor and Julia Gillard it is! Hooray! (Mind you at this point I’d be happy with a new election just to stop Oakfield talking…)

WE HAVE A GOVERNMENT!!!

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