Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
Office Shenanigans
A conversation in the office today..
Coworker: (in relation to some ugly concrete panels at Esplanade railway station) What are they for?
Me: What’s it for? What’s it mean?
Coworker: Magnets! How do they work?
Me: Double rainbow!
Coworker 2: I’m on a horse.
It’s a wonder we get anything done at all.
That doesn’t sound anything like my butt!
Hopefully one of our largest clients didn’t notice that I just accidentally added a holiday location named “Snape’s Hotel of Butt Trumpetry” to their database.
Roast in my shell?
It’s that wonderful time of year when it’s cold enough outside for the air conditioning to set itself to heat, but warm enough for the office not to be able to naturally shed the heat that builds up from four guys and six computers working in close proximity.
Result? Sauna time!
Bah!
It all makes sense!
Dinosaurs are asteroid magnets. We once had dinosaurs all over the planet – what happened? Boom! Asteroid. Go to any museum today – where we keep the dinosaur skeletons – and what do you see? Meteorites. It all makes sense!
On another subject my work colleague Bruce solved all my commitment issues this morning. Unfortunately the issues in question were merely in TortoiseSVN.
Pushing work off to other people is really useful
Things are looking up. For the first time in months I was able to look at my work list this morning without a sense of impending doom.
I should probably enjoy it while I can ;D
Denys can’t sing, Denys can’t sing, Denys cannot sing…
Denys can’t code,
Denys can’t code,
Denys cannot code,
He only reads books and he cannot code,
even when he’s reading a how to code book…
Just spent the better part of ninety minutes trying to figure out why a counter wasn’t incrementing only to discover I was initialising it inside the loop.
Boy is my face red.
Derp Derp Derp
I hope everyone enjoyed this year’s April Fools prank. For those who missed it, it can be viewed in all its glory here…
I’m at the office, working away my Good Friday. Not that I’m working particularly hard mind you – just catching up on a bunch of minor jobs that have been waiting in the eaves for the last few months. It’s actually not a bad way to spend a day – working at your own pace with no other people around to distract or annoy you. A much more restful atmosphere than the usual office environment.
Anyway, before I go, here’s some twisted genius to enjoy ;D
We are *not* some kind of homosexual department!
Today I actually had to ask a client if they’ve tried turning their PC off and on again. I almost choked myself trying not to do an Irish accent.
(We have a server room, although the last time I checked there were no goths lurking in it 😉
I’m a doctor not a gardener
Me: Hi [client]. Before I complete the booking form I need to know if more than one type of accommodation can be reserved per booking. In the meantime you can view the incomplete version of the form here [link], but please note that several sections have not yet been programmed.
Client: Hi [me]. Only one kind of accommodation can be reserved per booking. Thanks for the link to the form but we’re concerned that several important sections are missing.
1: Cancellation details: None of these are included. Please see original text and include all the paragraphs.
2: The booking dates are incorrect and should be June and July not January and February
3: Accommodation options for apartments/cottages and Backpackers are not yet included.
4: The total payment does not seem to include accommodation fees.
Please amend these urgently.
Me: What did I #@%&@*% say!!!?!!?
OK, I didn’t really email that back, but I sure would have liked to. A general inability to read what’s written in emails seems to be a common trait among web design clients and there are times you would really like to give them a serve. But, for the good of the company you swallow your rage and carry on.
Of course if you’re really good you can come up with a subtle, passive-aggressive reply that’s nice and polite on the surface but between the lines points out what illiterate morons they are.
That’s why I’ll never have your brother around for dinner, he would parallel park outside my house for ten minutes, TEN MINUTES, he’s clearly insane…
About 12:30 today one of our guys at the office received a rather confusing phone call about a shipping container and where to email the appropriate documentation to. Not sure what it was about (but assuming it might be something to do with one of the boss’s side projects) he provided our support email address.
Shortly thereafter we received a shipping docket for a company we’ve never heard of. Realising that the initial phone call was a wrong number we emailed them back. The following emails illustrate the fun and games that ensued…
(All names and phone numbers have been changed to protect the innocent…)
Looks like you’re looking for Polecat Patios [website address]. It’s not us.
Kind Regards
I called them and they asked me to send all the docs to your email address.
Can you please forward all the docs to them?
Thanks & Regards
You didn’t actually call them at all, you called us (presumably you dialled the wrong number) and the person you spoke to – unsure about what the call was concerned with – provided our support email address.
We have never had any dealings with Polecat Pations and prior to Googling their business name today have never even heard of them.
I’d suggest it would be better if you determined the correct contact details and resent the email from your end, rather than them receiving their documents via a random third party company they have never even heard of.
Kind Regards
I called 555 826 533 and this is the number from the white page for POLECAT PATIOS. And the staff asked me to email all the docs for you.
If 555 826 533 is your company’s telephone number then it is the mistake from the white page.
Thanks & Regards
Our number is 555 826 833. You must have hit the 8 rather than the 5 when dialling. I was personally sitting next to the person who received your initial call and who was quite confused at the mention of a shipping container.
Kind regards
Regards
Oh yes. It’s much more likely that sunspots or something caused the Telstra exchange to connect you to the wrong number that you simply misdialed a single digit. Sheeze!
