Me: Y’know, some days I feel like this job is utterly pointless
My Brain: No, no, you’re doing valuable work!
The work…
MACRO! BIOTICS!
Category: Workin’ for the Man
State Tax Dodging Charges
Hi On Wednesday colleagues received public investigation order dispatched by Internal Revenue Rervice. Authorities are incriminating You tax evasion that is allegedly a serious crime and most probably would lead to grave consequences. Attached kindly see scanned copy of the official notice letter. Kindly review the enclosure carefully so that we could prepare objections later. According to our administratition advise the session with tax service authorities is to be approved today. Our consultants strictly advise You to prepare for upcoming hearing since severe accusations are brought to You. Upon getting Your instructions specialists will commence drafting needed form-sheets. Stacey Bernard Senior Accountant
I am astounded that someone could rise to the level of Senior Accountant with such terrible grammar skills. Let this be a warning children, numbers rot your brain!
What is this I don’t even…
A client is having problems importing data from Excel into one of our systems. They’ve provided (after much prodding) a sample file so I’ve asked them for details on exactly how they’re trying to import it – what options they select, etc. Today I got the following response…
“Yes, this is the one of the way to import file (not direct way), just copy and paste to suit Excel import format column, then import it.”
Even if that was written in comprehensible English I suspect it would not answer my question.
Some Free Business Advice
Let us assume that you have a website, which is hosted and managed by a website company.
And let us assume that you decide you want a new website, hosted and managed by a different website company.
Let us furthermore assume that rather than inform your original website company that you’re going to terminate your business relationship, you decide to conceal the fact that you are having a replacement website built.
And finally let us assume that you decide to send a ‘Preview our New Website!’ email out to some of your customer database.
Well. You may want to check that the selection of customers you’re sending that email out to does not contain the email addresses of any developers from the website company you’re sneaking around the back of.
Unless of course you’re pathologically passive-aggressive or something…
You got Perthed!
Discovered today that the girl that one of my coworkers is starting to get serious with was one of my classmates back at high school.
This city is way too small sometimes.
From the Trenches
Work Colleague: I watched an entire season of Friends last night.
Me: Could you be any more insane?
(On a related note, what the hell is up with Gunnerkrigg Court at the moment? đŸ™‚ )
International Addressing
One shouldn’t laugh at foreigners for getting things that are obvious to oneself completely wrong, but sometimes it’s pretty hard.
For instance, the person from the UK who wrote us an angry email today because they couldn’t use one of our websites to send their brother a gift. Apparently the website kept rejecting the postcode, which simply isn’t good enough.
The address they were trying to send to?
Street Address: West Beach Adelaide SA New South Wales 5024
Suburb: Adelaide
State: New South Wales
Postcode: 08
Which is more or less the equivalent of…
Street Address: Sopley Southampton Hants Cumbria BH23
Suburb: Southampton
County: Cumbria
Postcode: 016973
…and no more likely to result in a successful delivery.
I know that international address formats can be confusing – I’ve had to deal with lots of them while coding some of our systems – but randomly throwing chunks of them at a form in the hopes that the computer will somehow be able to sort it all out can only be described as optimism of the most wild variety.
Neither of us look like Jesse Eisenberg
There’s a guy who’s started working in the office downstairs who looks like a younger, redheaded version of me.
Here’s hoping I won’t need to handcuff him to a bed and throw myself off a building.
Good Things this Week
New daylight fluro tubes over my workstation.
7% pay rise.
The Notorious P.I.G burger at the Varsity Bar.
Not Cool YouTube
So you’re working away on your computer at the office and decide that you need some music to make your life feel like it’s worth living. So you go over to YouTube and line up something soothing and melodic, a piece by the Shins for instance. Then you switch windows and continue work.
But then without any warning, without any kind of alert or alarm to advise you that some kind of vile, brain killing, hazardous toxin that should not be played to children or other living things without arrest and trial in the Hague is incoming, you are subjected to an unskippable, ten second auditory assault by Nicki Minaj.
Not cool YouTube! Not cool!
