Spiderman, Spiderman…

Many, many years ago my Dad happened to get a copy of The SAS Survival Handbook out of the local library. I found it fascinating – page upon page of advice on navigation, first aid, locating and trapping food, building shelter, signalling, and everything else a body could need in the aftermath of a plane crash, earthquake or other assorted apocalypse. I spent hours poring over it, and ended up getting my own copy to spend even more hours poring over without having to worry about late fees.

There was one thing that confused me though. Among the suggested equipment that you should carry with you at all times (which included knives, razor blades and a flexible wire saw – not really so great for air travel nowdays) was something called a ‘beta-light’. This was described as a ‘crystal’ that glows – glows forever in fact – providing enough light to read a map by or to tie to a hook and line as a fishing lure.

This puzzled the hell out of me. A glowing crystal? That’s the kind of thing you’d expect to find in a Charles Berlizt book about the mystery of Atlantis, not a hard nosed book about how to snare and skin badgers. Yet there it was, listed between the iodine crystals and waterproof matches (which you should split in half lengthways to save space). “Beta-Light”. Was that a brand name? Like it’s a “better” light? I couldn’t tell. I asked my parents what this magical item might be, but they were no help and didn’t seem to comprehend how unlikely and science-fictional such an item seemed. I tried looking up “beta-light” in the encyclopedias down at the library, but there was no such entry, and those in those now far gone days before the web that was pretty much the limit of research. So the concept of perpetually glowing crystals settled down into a quiet corner of my brain to await further developments, none of which were to occur for decades.

A few weeks back Spiderman 2 was on TV. I saw Spiderman when it came out in the cinemas and quite enjoyed it, but had never actually seen the sequel, and since I had nothing on the next morning decided to stay up and watch. I thought it was pretty good – Alfred Molina in particular did a great job of making Doctor Octopus a sympathetic villain, and Toby Macquire continued to be excellent at portraying a scrawny nerd from Queens. The one thing I did find amusing about the who thing however was the plot’s insistence on the importance of tritium – a substance so common that the oceans are full of it, yet a few grams is apparently enough to destroy the whole of Manhattan. Oh how I laughed!

Just out of idle curiosity, during an ad break, I decided to look up tritium on Wikipedia. Oops. Turns out I had been confusing it with deuterium. I don’t know if a few grams of tritium would be enough to destroy Manhattan, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Continuing through the article I stumbled over the following…

The emitted electrons from the radioactive decay of small amounts of tritium cause phosphors to glow so as to make self-powered lighting devices called betalights

Holy crap! I clicked on the link, and there it was, all laid out for me!

Turns out a beta-light is not a “crystal”. It’s a sealed container of glass or plastic filled with gaseous tritium and lined with a phosphor. As the gas undergoes radioactive decay the beta particles emitted cause the phosphor to fluoresce, producing light. It won’t of course last forever, but it will provide light for many years, and although increasingly replaced with less radioactive light sources, it’s still pretty safe and would be a handy thing to have in a survival situation. Case closed!

In light of this surprising development, I now plan to watch Spiderman 3 to see if it can answer my questions about three body gravitational problems.

 

 

Kidding. There is no force on Earth that could make me watch Spiderman 3.

Gigantic

So there was just a new Apple ad on TV. One which grabbed my attention with an unmistakeable baseline…

My first reaction was “Holy crap! That’s Gigantic!! Awesome!”. My second reaction was “Uh… do Apple realise what that song is actually about…?”

If I may be allowed to be blunt, the song Gigantic by the Pixies is about a cock. A big black cock. A gigantic black cock.

I don’t know if that’s meant to be a hint about some kind new Apple product, but if it is, I don’t think I’ll be buying.

Good ad though.

A Televisual Feast

As inspired by Reddit, some TV shows from my childhood…

The Goodies: Kitten Kong, Frankenfido, Apartheight, Clown Gas, Black Beauty, Timita, The Funky Gibbon, Rolf Harris – back in the 80s every Australian kid watched these guys religiously.

Monkey: If you were an Australian kid in the 80s, then you watched “Monkey Magic”. No exceptions. The nature of monkey was… IRREPRESSIBLE!

Catweazel: Electrickery and Telling-bones! Twelve are they that circle round, if power you seek they must be found, look for where the thirteen lies, mount aloft the one who flies

The Mysterious Cities of Gold: Awesome! Until the Olmecs turned up, anyway. And some of those documentaries at the end were a bit dodgy. But even today I’d kill to have that boat!

Worzel Gummidge: Worzel Gummidge scared the shit out of me! He could take his head off! No!

Secret Valley: Kind of naff, but we still watched it, even while claiming that it sucked. And who didn’t want a cave base like the Spider Gang? The sequel/spin-off on the other hand was an abomination whose name I shall not even repeat. Just note that the theme song (somewhat ironically) used the word ‘poop’ a lot.

You Can’t Do That on Television: Somehow both the origin of Alanis Morrisette and Nickelodeon’s green slime.

Fraggle Rock: I particularly like the episode where they stopped eating the Doozer’s buildings. We had the version with the old inventor and his dog.

Peter Russel Clarke: Cook a shark or make a damper, feed your ego.. pack a hamper.. on a farm or out at sea, learn a recipe or threeeeeeeee… Come and get it! With Peter! G’day! Russel! G’day! Clarke! How ya goin?

Chocky: Weird and creepy! I used to spend hours drawing that picture with the spheres and pyramids.

Astroboy: OK, but more something we watched just because it was on rather than because we loved it.

Grange Hill: We thought this was kind of uncool and boring, but we still watched it because it came on in between other good shows.

Battle of the Planets: Naturally I had a crush on Princess. Nonetheless I really wanted one of those badges the bad guys wore.

Into the Labyrinth: Rothgo… Rothgo… Rothgo… Every episode was filmed in a cave, and looked like it.

Ulysses 31: Anime version of the Greek Myths. I drew picture after picture of that annoying little robot. That said, the Odyssey is one of the best spaceship designs ever!

Watch This Space: Cheaply made and pretty stupid, but they featured some amazing bands.

Kaboodle: Awesome theme music!

I am so old! 😀

Musical Tuesdays – Soundtracks

I bought a new TV.

This isn’t as much of a sybaritic indulgence as it may seem, as my old TV was on it’s last legs. And when I say ‘last legs’ I mean that if I wanted to watch something I had to subject myself to the following baroque procedure…

1: Turn on the TV.
2: Wait for around 12 minutes as the screen changes via almost imperceptible stages from black to bright white.
3: Enjoy 15 minutes of an image appearing on the screen for half a second, followed by a loud ‘crack!‘ sound, and the screen going to black for ten seconds before the cycle repeats.
4: Once the cracking has stopped and the picture stabilised, turn the TV off, because there’s no sound.
5: Turn the TV back on, which will hopefully restore sound.
6: Actually watch any TV.

While I’m not the most demanding guy when it comes to creature comforts, having to turn my TV on a good half hour before I want to watch something was getting kind of wearing, so I splashed out and bought a brand new unit. A 40 incher would you believe, which is mostly because I screwed up the maths and thought it was somewhat smaller than it actually turned out to be.

Such a large screen has taken a bit of getting used to – more than once I’ve caught it out of the corner of my eye of an evening and been momentarily shocked into thinking that Adam Hills was actually in my apartment. But now that it’s settled in and gathering a fine patina of dust, it’s all good.

As I was making such a large purchase I decided to spoil myself with an add on and bought the box set of Misfits as well. Misfits has been one of my favourite shows for ages, but I’d only ever seen the first two seasons. I knew of course that the subsequent seasons aren’t meant to be as good – in no small part due to the absence of Nathan – but decided to give them a go anyway. To date I’ve watched all of season three, and will shortly move on to season four.

So, what did I think?

Season three, in my considered opinion, was OK. It’s definitely not the same show. It suffers for the lack of Nathan and the new powers everyone ends up with are really rather naff. There’s nothing that can be described as a story arc across the season and the whole thing lurches around from episode to episode with a complete lack of point or drive.

There’s also lots and lots of death. In the first two seasons someone getting killed was a big deal – much of both seasons revolved around concealing the bodies of the characters’ inadvertent victims. But this season people are dropping like flies and no one really seems to care. I suspect it’s actually deliberate self-parody, but even if that’s the case it’s a big change from the serious drama of the first two.

That being said, there’s a lot of entertainment to be had. Newcomer Rudy is both a terrible, terrible human being and a riot. The elements of self parody, although jarring, are fun. I was also surprised at how moving I found the conclusion of the Simon/Alisha/Super-Hoodie story arc in the final ten minutes of the season – it was like a sudden return to the tone of the original show, and was really rather epic.

So, what has this to do with Musical Tuesdays? Well, soundtracks my friends! Soundtracks!

Here’s to my mind the best bit of music from Misfits

Not bad eh? When I first heard it I wondered if it was by Murray Gold, but it’s actually by Vince Pope.

On the subject of Murray Gold, here’s one of his best pieces, from the soundtrack of Doctor Who.

For my money the best bit is 1:40 to 2:37, but frankly the whole thing is pretty wonderful.

Well that’s it for this week. I have Titans to build and lightbulbs to change!

The Day of the Doctor

Now that I’ve had a couple of hours’ sleep I’d just like to reiterate just how much I enjoyed The Day of the Doctor

I have no doubt the internet will be alight with people moaning about how Steven Moffet has ruined everything and should be put up against a wall and exterminated, but I thought he did a fantastic job. The plot made sense (more than can be said for some of his efforts), the interaction between the three Doctors was spot on, Billie Piper looks like she’s had a decent meal since her last appearance, there was a throwaway line referencing the UNIT dating controversy, the cameo from Peter Capaldi was perfect, and the ‘Curator’ – well, normally silliness like that would be totally out order, but, c’mon, it was wonderful!

And the setup at the very end! I hope like hell that’s going to be the story arc for the next season, not just something they deal with in the Christmas Special.

Finally if you’re a fan of the classic series and have half an hour to spare, The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot is well worth a watch. Not only is it fun, it features literally dozens of cameos. You can poke around online to find the full thing, but here’s the trailer…

On with tonight’s repeat, and An Adventure in Time and Space

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