Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
60% of Australians are idiots
Google has released its 10 most searched for terms in Australia for 2011. At number three is…. “Google”.
While I’d really, really like to attribute that to IT Crowd fans, I think it’s just a clear indication that people, fundamentally, are morons.
The full, shameful list…
1. Facebook
2. YouTube
3. Google
4. Games
5. eBay
6. Hotmail
7. Brisbane
8. Weather
9. News
10. Yahoo
That’s more terrible than stealing 30 cakes.
Oh you gotta watch out for those foreign students with their Middle Eastern flags!
At a Victorian high school foreign students raised a Middle East flag on a school flag pole, Australian students took it down. Guess who was expelled… the students who took it down.
The Wyrmlog has been getting quite a few hits for the above phrase recently as a result of my post concerning the email that contains it. As I happen to know a bit about the incident in question I figured I’d do the right thing and share that knowledge with other truth seekers. So here we go…
It never happened.
What do I mean it never happened? Let me explain.
The email that you’ve probably received, the one that starts I am the Government’s/Labor Party’s worst nightmare was not written by an Australian, and was not written about Australia. It’s an American email written by an American about America. Everything that it says was originally about America, and has been clumsily altered to refer to Australia by some Aussie with an axe to grind – a fact that should be pretty obvious when it starts talking about ‘Social Security’.
Even more obvious is the line…
I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the Lodge, the seat of our biggest problems
…which just sounds odd. When was the last time you heard the Lodge being mentioned in any kind of political debate? However it makes perfect sense when you realise the line originally read…
I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the White House, the seat of our biggest problems
…see?
So, the alleged incident in some Victorian high school. I said it never happened. This is because it’s a somewhat one-sided account of something that happened in a school in Texas that has had various nouns changed to “Australianise” it…
Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled…the students who took it down.
There you go. As to what actually happened in Texas, the Mexican flag was being displayed (not flown from a flagpole) within the school as part of a display about Cinquo de Mayo, and a single student ripped it down and shoved it into a trash can. An act for which he was suspended, not expelled.
So there you go. The facts may not be as exciting as certain people with agendas to push might like, but they are the facts.
Peace out.
Email from Client: I add da product an it no in da pending! Help me!*
My Reply: Just to make sure I’ve got this straight – you added a product using the the new interface, but it became active immediately rather than going into the pending category? Correct?
Client’s Reply: I no see product not anywhere!
Reply I would have liked to send: I asked you a damn question!! If you don’t answer it I can’t fix your petty little problem!
What I actually did: Spent twenty minutes investigating the database and determining that the product had been added using the old interface, and the client skipped a step, despite being given clear, numbered instructions only yesterday.
Sheeze!
* The client’s emails were actually written in reasonable English, I just edited them to cave man to give an idea of how uninformative and useless they were.
Dey took arr jobs!
Well, it looks like the Carbon Tax legislation is going to pass. It’s not perfect by a long shot, but at least it’s something.
Of course, it does mean dey’re gonna take arr jobs!
🙂
Bob Marley? Seriously?
Emotional Bag Check seems like a really cool idea, but the level of musical knowledge displayed by the top 25 list of recommended songs listed on PerthNow is just appalling!
BOB MARLEY DID NOT SING DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY YOU PHILISTINES!!!!
It’s by Bobby McFerrin and was released in 1988 – SEVEN YEARS AFTER MARLEY DIED!!!
Not every singer with a deep voice and Jamaican accent is Bob Marley, for crying out loud!!
Similarly songs number 5 (Three Little Birds) and number 23 (Everything’s Gonna Be Alright) are the same freakin’ song! Unless of course by Everything’s Gonna Be Alright they actually mean No Woman, No Cry.
I don’t own a single Bob Marley album and I know this stuff. Sheeze!
Well at least I can take comfort in the fact that a song from A Very Potter Musical makes it onto the list – although I can’t really discount the possibility that this is only because Darren Criss is on Glee now…
Cuscuscuscuscus
It’s a freaking Cuscus! And they call themselves zoologists?!
Being my first time creating a website I simply didn’t think of this…
An email from a client today, who asked us to add a new and very complicated feature to his recently constructed website (details redacted to protect the innocent)…
Bit confused about the costing for the [new feature] – if I had realized this earlier, I would have had it done previously.
Sort of would have thought that [other client] would have already had something like this – being my first time creating a website I simply didn’t think of this.
In other words, “the website doesn’t do something that I never actually asked for it to do, but you should have realised that that’s what I wanted so you should do the work for free”.
Ha! Haha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Clients, how they crack me up!
I am of course keeping an eye on the situation in the UK. It’s pretty awful, but so far things seem to have been relatively calm (although ringed with incidents) in Edmonton where my uncle is and in Leicester, where the worst seems to have been a bunch of hoodied idiots running around smashing windows in the city centre until the police scattered them.
Hopefully this will blow over once the worst troublemakers are apprehended and the rest of the tag-along idiots sober up. It won’t address the complicated social issues that are the root cause, but at least it should restore order for the time being.
To everyone in the UK – not just my family and friends – the world’s thoughts are with you.
We’ve all been punked.
Well, it turns out that study that linked use of Internet Explorer with low intelligence was a hoax.
It still said what we were all thinking though ;D
Stats for the Win!
It’s official! Internet Explorer users are totally dumb
It’s just nice to see some stats backing it up.
