“A beast-like recipe for apple cider vinegar to lower blood pressure sounded from the bishop’s throat, and he threw himself on the Angel of Light.
What is priligy?”
Email spam is getting increasingly obtuse…
Category: Stupidy (of Others)
Land of Misery
Got a migraine late on Sunday night so emailed work to say I’d be late in the morning, took a big handful of pills, switched off my alarm and went to bed.
As a result I ended up on the 10:07 Fremantle train from Perth and was privileged to witness a most impressive performance by a young man slapping out a beat on his legs while loudly snarling out rhymes in a very credible metal voice.
“…GIVING HEAD! GIVING HEAD! WANKING OFF THE MIDNIGHT DEAD! EVIL! EVIL! LAND OF MISERY!…”
Let’s face it, that’s better than anything released by Metallica in decades!
PRIME
I don’t know what’s worse. The stall at the Galleria selling plushie PRIME bottles, or the fact that people are actually buying them.
Zanzibar, Oh Zanzibar!
So there I was, watching Joanna Lumley’s Spice Trail Adventure on free-to-air tv last night like the dinosaur I am while waiting for Annika to come on and reflecting that if they’ve killed Tosh on Shetland (on after Annika) I would be extremely annoyed when this thing appeared on my screen.
This – according to ITV – is a map of the east African island of Zanzibar. Now, I had never to my knowledge seen a map of Zanzibar prior to last night, but I was pretty sure it doesn’t look like that. And the reason I’m pretty sure it doesn’t look like that is because that is clearly a map of the much, much larger east African island of Madagascar.
What absolutely baffles me about this is how it could possibly have happened. Someone in the ITV graphics department obviously put time and effort into creating an accurate map of the area around Zanzibar, and then slapped a map of Madagascar into the middle of it. They even took care to not cover up the smaller island of Tumbatu just to the west. It surely can’t be a mistake. Is it some kind of protest? Some kind of prank? And how did it get through to the final product without anyone noticing it?
Just sheer bafflement all around. I’m tempted to shoot them off an email to try and get to the bottom of it. Do better ITV!
The Voice
Tomorrow we discover what force rules the soul of the Australian people – inclusivity, fairness and decency, or fear, ignorance, disinformation and racism.
I won’t stop hoping for a miracle, but all the polls indicate it will be the latter.
But hey! If ‘no’ wins at least we’ll all be safe from the United Nations taking our houses, or whatever other stupid shit is circulating on social media!
Oh Carpathia!
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I am quite impressed that not only does this spammer offer jaunts to a ‘fictitious’ place, but that said place blends together both authenticity and legerdemain. Occult gems indeed!
Roman in the Gloman
Have your teens been caught up in the ‘Thinking about the Roman Empire’ trend? Watch for these codewords!
- BET – Boeotia Encompasses Thebes
- SUS – Senators Under Septimius
- MID – Mark-Antony is Dead
- FIRE – Forum In Rome Expansive
- DRIP – Domitian Rules In Persia
Booragoon Boys
The following message was submitted through the contact form of an accountancy firm that happens to be one of our clients…
Sick cunt sick cunt looking for a figggght. Two options, suckit lickit. Booragoon boys already back in towwwwn. ECEM
I can’t decide if this is utterly appalling or the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.
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We All Float On
The Titanic’s deckchairs are all lined up and ready to go!
