I chow down on a bowl of mari,
Marinara, marinara sauce,
Then just another bowl of mari,
Marinara, marinara sauce,
If you choose to down it hastily,
It will tickle you internally,
And I see nothing wrong with that…
Category: Silliness and Randomness
It Is Accomplished
OK, I think I’m finally done with this. The sixth and final version of Warhammer 40,000 According to the Simpsons
Holland
I may?
So be it…
Starts sharpening axe
My Enemies List
- Alan Jones
- Alex Jones
- Andrew Wakefield
- Atomic Kitten
- Ayn Rand
- Bird thing from the video clip for Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit”
- Clive Palmer
- Doomlord
- Donald Trump
- Ea-nāṣir
- Gary the Horse
- Hathor (she is evil)
- Kelvin
- Kyle Sandilands
- Paul Newman
- That old woman on the bus that time
- Tiglath-Pileser (human)
- Tiglath-Pileser (bear)
- Vladimir Putin
Emulating the Ocean Sound
The following bit of sub-par Giant Days fanfiction has been wedged in my brain for several years. I have had vague plans of drawing it, but I suspect it’s not really worth the effort, so I will instead present it here as a script (along with copious apologies to John Allison).
SCENE: Daisy’s room, Catterick Hall, first year. Daisy is studying while music plays from a portable CD player.
Enter Esther and Susan through door (dramatically of course)
Susan: Daisy Wooton, what is this noise?
Esther: Did Enya find a mellotron?
Daisy (picking up and displaying The Mollusk CD case): It’s not Enya, it’s Ween. Ed Gemmel lent it to me.
Esther (while Susan takes and examines CD case): You shouldn’t listen to people weeing Daisy, it’s not healthy for developing young minds!
Susan (looking through CD insert): It appears to concern a grown man talking to a young boy about his ‘mollusc’…
Esther (grabbing CD insert): Is that LEGAL?
Daisy: It’s marine biology! It’s perfectly respectable!
Susan (with barely suppressed glee): It occurs to me that a winkle is a type of mollusc…
Daisy (in horror): Is… Is Ed Gemmel an oceanography pervert!?
Esther (reading CD insert): I’d be concerned if someone’s ‘winkle’ “emulated the ocean sound”. It doesn’t sound biologically plausible.
Susan (finger on chin, in thought): Maybe if they were waiting in an extremely long bathroom queue…
FINIS
Pigeon Girl
Fly, fly, pigeon girl, my beautiful pigeon girl,
When I see you flying,
I think about the birds in the sky,
But you’re better than them ’cause you’re pigeon,
And pigeon has much nicer eye,
You’re Maltese,
Just like me,
And like Nathan Buck-a-ley,
And you’re also like that other Maltese person,
Darren Gauci,
He might win the Caulfield Cup,
But I don’t mind,
Because,
All in all for me,
You are my pigeon girl,
Fly, fly, pigeon girl,
Fly for me?
Bye-Bye,
This – I hesitate to call it a ‘song’ – was submitted as a theme for the Pigeon Racing segment on Triple J’s breakfast show in the early 2000s, despite the fact that the Triple J breakfast show did not have (and never has had) a pigeon racing segment. It has lived rent free in my head ever since.
Speak, Priest!
The Church of England in the 1970s was wild…
Footage from the 1971 BBC Documentary “The Power of the Witch”.
Additional audio by Motörhead.
Yazuul
All I needed was the love you gave,
All I needed for another day,
And all I ever knew,
ONLY ZUUL!!
Mr Wong
Mr Wong, has got it going on,
He’s all that you need when you’re visiting Hong Kong,
What kind are my cheques?
Why, they’re American Express!
I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Mr Wong,
Mr Wong. Ask for him by name!
Favourite Music of the Primarchs
Art by Johannes Helgeson
And a list, for when the YouTube links inevitably break…
- Lion El’Jonson: Tocatta – Tanzwut
- Fulgrim: German Sparkle Party – The Something Experience
- Purturabo: Last Resort – Pappa Roach
- The Khan: Dchingus Khan – Dchingus Khan
- Leman Russ: Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran
- Rogal Dorn: We Built this City – Starship
- Konrad Curze: Behind the Mask Obscure – Limbonic Art
- Sanguinius: Send me an Angel – Real Life
- Ferrus Manus: Lucretia, My Reflection – The Sisters of Mercy
- Angron: Down With the Sickness – Disturbed
- Roboute Guilliman: Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 in F – Johan Sebastian Bach
- Mortarion: Touch Me, I’m Sick – Mudhoney
- Magnus the Red: Abracadabra – Steve Miller Band
- Horus Lupercal: Dies Irae – Giuseppe Verdi
- Lorgar Aurelian: Dies Irae – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
- Vulcan: Anvil Chorus – Giuseppe Verdi
- Corvus Corax: Tanzwut – Corvus Corax
- Alpharius Omegon: Hello Goodbye – The Beatles
- The Emperor: It’s Hard to Be Humble – Mac Davis
(We can observe an obvious correlation between baldness and preference for classical music)