Return of the Stovepipe Jimmies

I’m so very sorry…

Well, it would appear that we have an unconscionable scoundrel in Lincoln Park!

He’s entering via one’s windows,
He’s snatching one’s people up,
Using them most horribly,
One had best hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
Hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
Hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
And if applicable hide one’s husband,
For they’re violating all in this place!

The perpetrator need not hand himself in,
For we are seeking him out!
We shall find you sir!
We shall find you sir!
So one may inform this,
One may run and inform this,
Run and inform this scoundrel!
Scoundrel!

We posses your clothing,
You have left behind your fingerprints,
You are a fool! Your are a fool sir!
The perpetrator escaped but left evidence,
She was assaulted by some bounder in the projects!
Bounder! Bounder! Bounder! Bounder!

He’s entering via one’s windows,
He’s snatching one’s people up,
Using them most horribly,
One had best hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
Hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
Hide one’s children,
Hide one’s wife,
And if applicable hide one’s husband,
For they’re violating all in this place!

The perpetrator need not hand himself in,
For we are seeking him out!
We shall find you sir!
We shall find you sir!
So one may inform this,
One may run and inform this,
Run and inform this scoundrel,
Scoundrel!

A Universe Built on Bad Puns

For Tanith! For Verghast! For cold and flu relief!

In the next Gaunt’s Ghosts novel Dan Abnett should have the Ghosts face a Chaos cult called the Histi.

That way they could fight them with anti-Histi-mines!

(Yes, yes, I’ll go drive over my head with a chimera now…)

Make a daft noise for Easter

Penitet me.

Vide equus meus. Mirum est equum! Degustabis equus meus…

Sicut fructus uva passa gustat!

Quam cum iubis fit equum demulceri volatilis apparatus. Transfiguration Et vice versa cum trahitur phallus!

Obscena quod!

Ita putas? Non ego te certiorem unde fetus facta est sucus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus!

Adepto in equum et ducam per totum mundum et ceteris omnibus!

Corrigendus est me vobis. Totum continetur totius mundi…

Mulier taceat! Adepto in meus equum!

Foolish Story Ideas No. 1

Fffffffffffffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddddddddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Anthropologist records complex, ancient, multi-instrumental and multi-vocal religious chants from obscure South East Asian tribe. Accidentally messes up playback, speeding chants up by factor of eight. Chants are transformed into insipid modern pop song, complete with good approximation of modern instrumentation and English lyrics.

Considerations…
How did insipid modern pop song end up thousands of years in the past?
How did insipid modern pop song thousands of years in the past end up slowed down by eight?
How did insipid modern pop song thousands of years in the past and slowed down by eight become religiously significant enough to be repeated and preserved for thousands of years?
What is effect of this revelation on culture and religion of tribe?

Discuss.

On second thoughts…

They’re the anchor of the Free Mantle Systems

Maybe my Valhallans were fighting the anchor of the Free Mantle Systems, the Freo Marines?

Freo! Name: Freo Marines
Founding Chapter: The WAFL Marines
Founding: Unknown
Chapter Master: Matheus Pavlach
Homeworld: Freo
Fortress-Monastery: The Dock
Battle Cry: Freo! Way to Go!

๐Ÿ˜€

The Black Swans

Aussie Marines

So, today at work I was thinking – exactly what Space Marine chapter were my Valhallans fighting on the weekend? After some thought I decided it had to be the Black Swans…

The Black Swans
Name: Black Swans
Founding Chapter: Unknown
Founding: Unknown
Chapter Master: Septimus Rowe
Homeworld: Cygnus Occidentalis
Fortress-Monastery: Ratnast
Battle Cry: Cygnis Insignis!

Hailing from the semi-arid, sandy world of Cygnus Occidentalis the Black Swans dwell in the orbiting fortress monastery of Ratnast and hone their combat skills fighting the fearsome burrowing creatures known by the natives as sand-gropers.

OK. Done now ๐Ÿ™‚

Close Bitnami banner
Bitnami