Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
For fifteen pennies and a box of matches,
He’ll tell you about the things he catches,
Up in the rafters,
Down in the basement,
Running to the window sill to open up the casement,
Leaping high above the daily drama,
Only stopping for a Swedish Llama,
Quick with a jab,
Then with a cut,
Slamming all the windows shut,
You can’t tell exactly what he’s going to do,
Asking everybody for a light except for you,
Fifteen pennies and some matches from Peru,
If you doubt, call it out, with a shout!
One of a series of posts documenting my precarious mental state for purposes of education and enlightenment.
Miranda Feigelsteen – Mysterious Ways (TV Show)
Miki – FreakAngels (Comic)
Abby Lockheart – ER (TV Show)
Lorelai Gilmore – Gilmore Girls (TV Show)
Claudia Donovan – Warehouse 13 (TV Show)
Talla Keyali – The Orville (TV Show)
Adora Belle Dearheart – Going Postal (Novel)
Abby Sciuto – NCIS (TV Show)
Susan Ptolemy – Giant Days (Comic)
Sara Sidle – CSI (TV Show)
I’m sure there are more, so I’ll add them as I think of them.
Alan Titchmarsh: This is a holly, but it’s not spiky, it’s a small leaved form named Ilex crenata…
Me: Ilex crenata! Prowl off! Jump an prance! Ilex crenata! Prowl off! Jump an prance! Ilex crenata gal prowl off! Gal yuh fi jump an prance!
The last humans to leave Low Earth Orbit were the crew of Apollo 17 in December 1972. Rock band Van Halen was founded in 1973. This means that NASA just missed the opportunity to play Van Halen in the Van Allen Belt.
An old illustration of a mole or shrew or something. It’s posed on a lump of earth surrounded by water and there’s no indication of scale so you can’t tell if it’s tiny and standing on a clump of moss or hundreds of metres tall and crushing a forest. It has webbed feet and a snake-like tail that doesn’t seem to attach to its body properly and a bizarre elephant-like trunk, and despite being an animal its face bears an expression of terrified desperation as if its family is going to be murdered if it doesn’t remain perfectly still for the artist. The picture is titled Sorex moſchatus Pall. which is certainly the kind of name I’d give to something this bizarre looking.
It’s probably meant to be one of these…
(Turns out it’s a Russian Desman (Desmana moschata) – which is even written on the image in French! – but I’m leaving the video)
You ever read The Silmarillion, man? You ever read The Silmarillion ON PIPEWEED? Oh, there’s some weird shit there man! There’s a hobbit sitting in the bushes, man! Has he got the Ring? I dunno!! FORTH EORLINGAS!! RIDE TO RUIN AND THE WORLD’S ENDING!!
Charli XCX: Talk to me in French, talk to me in Spanish, talk to me in your own made up language…
Me: Yuhàla Càlè! Zùvà holinjá, el pevomklá.
Charli XCX: SECURITY!!
Were I ever rich enough to build my own home the bathroom would feature a prominent but unlabeled button. When clicked…
To the tune of the Wallace and Gromit theme song
I don’t want to go to the gulag,
The NKVD have got it wrong!
I’m not a class traitor or kulak,
I praise Comrade Stalin – all – the – day – long!
You see the KGB,
Are always watching me,
And I can’t find a reason why that even should be!
I’m a devoted fan,
Of every five year plan,
And if it’s treason you’re seeking then go away!
I’m not, not your man!
I don’t want to go to the gulag,
The NKVD have got it wrong!
I’m not a class traitor or kulak,
I praise Comrade Stalin – all – the – day – long!
You can blame Jay Foreman for this…
