Category: Old and Uncategorised

OK, this is easily the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages (in a very dark way 😉

I was watching the last epsiode of Love is in the Air last night, the recent ABC series on the history of Australian pop music and they did an interview with Vanessa Amorosi. You know, she had a hit back in 2000 with Absolutely Everybody and that horribly sacharine “inspirational” song Shine. (For purposes of illustration I’ll quote a bit of it here…)

You can give your life or you can lose your soul,
You can bang your head or you can drown in a hole,
Nothing lasts forever, but you can try,
Look around you,
Everyone you see, everyone you know is gonna shine,

See? Appalling stuff. Anyway, my respect for Ms Amorosi shot up from zero to – well to a small amount of respect anyway – when she revealed that she wrote Shine during a particularly dark stage in her life, and it wasn’t originally Shine, it was Die!

You can give your life or you can lose your soul,
You can bang your head or you can drown in a hole,
Nothing lasts forever, but you can try,
Look around you,
Everyone you see, everyone you know is gonna die,

Is that like the funniest thing ever? Particualrly since it’s now such a favourite of the “You can do anything if you try!” school of deluded optomists 🙂

Ah, pop music is great!

Continuing with the subject of things that amuse me – this new royal scandal that the palace is covering up. Don’t you so wish the “incident” involved Prince Charles turning into a lizard and eating a baby? That would be so much more interesting than whatever it actually turns out to be 🙂

OK, I’ve successfully annoyed Vanessa Amorosi fans, Royalists and possibly David Icke, so I’m going to shut up now 😉

It’s annoyingly warm this weekend. 32 yesterday, 33 today. And they reckon it’ll be almost 40 by Tuesday. I’m telling you, I seriously need to move to Hobart.

In any case I suppose I’d better say what I’ve been up to. About the only interesting things (apart from major Ben Knapinski Framed Print induced headaches) were catching up with Rebecca who’s just started her new job selling gyprock, and with Andrew who’s back from Vegas.

Both took place after work on Thursday. Rebecca had a work dinner on in the city that evening and rather than drive from Welshpool down to South Freo (where she and Dom are renting) then back into the CBD she sensible emailed me to see if I wanted to meet up for coffee (or in my case hot chocolate) on my way through. This seemed like a good idea to me *g* so we agreed to meet up at the train station at 5:00. I was apparently to watch out for her work uniform, specifically the top which she described as being so offensively yellow I wouldn’t be able to miss her.

As it turned out, she was right. It’s very, very yellow. Fluro yellow. Even from the other side of the station concourse it shone out like a gigantic radioactive highlighter. Apparently it’s so the workers won’t get run over by forklifts while walking through dimly lit areas of the warehouse, but I suspect it also provides protection from any passing 747s, and possibly even the space shuttle. In bright sunlight it could probably strike you blind.

Anyway we headed down to the historically themed Merchant Coffee House (or whatever it’s called, the one with the very historical looking but fundamentally useless electrically driven* and go in my normal clothes as a ‘guy’. Ali has suggested I do the same but claim to be a geek instead, which is an equally good idea. Or I may just go totally left-field and come as something completely insane. We’ll see.

I’ve also been thinking about that whole theodolite thing on and off for the last few weeks. I think I’ve come up with a pretty good design that would be fairly easy to build and operate – at least given access to a few decent tools to shape some parts. The big problem was coming up with a way to keep the whole thing level and get an accurate reading.

I was thinking about multiple spirit levels, but that would have been a nightmare (not to mention the cost). I then realised that if you fixed the protractor onto the viewfinder you could use a plumb line to take accurateGeorge de Mestral and his burdock burs? Anyway an old man with a broken leg got on the train at Perth and leant his wooden crutch against the wall at an angle. I took one look at it and was hit by the realisation that if I extended the forks holding the eyepeice forwards on an angle the plumb line would fall completely clear of tripod with no need for a hole. I immediately whipped a notepad out of my bag and feverishly scrawled down three or four pages of designs – incidentally startling the man sitting next to me who seemed to think I had suddenly gone insane (he may have had a point 🙂

So, I now have complete plans in my head (and notebook) for a homemade theodolite. It’s just a case of finding the time, money and motivation to build it. And use it. Ho-hum 🙂

To finish up I thought I’d transcribe some more lyrics, specifically those of All for Swinging you Around by the New Pornographers. It’s currently my second favourite track off Electric Version, after the mighty The Laws Have Changed of course. So, here goes (as far as I can tell :)…

Oh yeah, almost forgot…

Intransigent DNA Influenced Cute Woman of the Week: Ummmmmm… how about that crack addict leading Nick Kline into evil ways on The Bill last night? Yeah, she’ll do 🙂

I feel like writing, but I haven’t got anything to say. How stupid is that?

Ummmmm I went to the Doctor’s yesterday, that’s something. He gave me all sorts of tests (including an EEG or ECG or EEC or whatever, the one where they hook you up to a machine that goes bing anyway) then told me I need to get more exercise. Like I didn’t know that.

Then I walked back into the city instead of taking the train. I figure that’s enough exercise for me to safely eat pizza for the rest of the week 😉

Oh yeah, it’s the Melbourne Cup today. Yaaaaaaawn.

I’ll shut up now 🙂

“Sea Shanty’s”. I bought some “Sea Shanty’s” the other day. I really wish I hadn’t.

“Sea Shanty’s” are small crumbed seafood things that I used to love as a kid. I haven’t had them in years and earlier this week happened to spot them down at the local supermarket. So, overthrown by a wave of nostalgia I decided to buy them, and cooked some up with dinner. Then, mouth watering with anticipation, I tucked in.

Now, I don’t know if they’ve changed the recipe, or if I was just an idiot as a child, but they’re horrible! I mean so bad they’re virtually inedible! They taste like the sweepings off the floor of a fish cannery mixed with geletin and creamed corn! I felt nauseous with the first bite! Urrrggghhh!!!!

Needless to say I didn’t eat any more of the horrid things, and binned them and their frozen brethren as soon as possible.

So, the lesson for today? Don’t purchase any fish based products with glaring grammatical errors in their name 🙂

You know it’s bad enough that Delta Goodrem was nominated for eight ARIAs, let alone that she won seven of them! For crying out loud! >:-|

Although it’s not all bad news from the ARIAs, the Waifs picked up two, so that’s OK then 🙂

Anyway I had today off work, yey! You see my brother Andrew flew off to Vegas last night at some ungodly hour, and since I intended to go out to the airport to see him off I arranged to have today off, so I could sleep. Then at the last minute he informed mum and dad that he didn’t want anyone to see him off because he hates airport goodbyes. So I didn’t need to sleep, or go to work, which is great. If only every day could be like this!

Why is he off to Vegas you ask? Two of his friends are getting married there. By an Elvis impersonator. Which is kind of cool in a weird American movie way. Actually Mark (ie Buster Stiggs, who’s still working with us) wondered if it’s the same Elvis impersonator who married one of his friends from Midnight Oil* when I brought the subject up. Personally I doubt it. It’s a big city after all. With lots of Elivises (Elvii?). Anyway I almost asked Andrew to say hi to Grissom for me, but I didn’t because…

a) He’d have no idea what I was talking about.
b) If I went to the trouble of explaining the reference, he’d think it was stupid.
c) He’d be right 🙂

So, what did I do with my day off? I spent most of the morning re-vamping a post-apocalyptic play by mail game I knocked up a few years ago and which some of the guys expressed an interest in playing some months back. Basically you control a small number of people and, well basically just have to survive after most of the world’s population have perished in a devestating plague. Very 28 Days Later. I’m so way ahead of Hollywood that it’s scary 🙂

Then I did some long overdue cleaning up, including the bathroom, where the sink is still blocked. It’s actually draining now, after the last vicious plungering I gave it, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last. Then I went across the road and bought some bread. So exciting this life of mine!

Pleasingly (to change subject completely) it looks as if the powers that be have finally decided to do something about the heritage-listed art-deco building next door, which is in the process of being slowly destroyed by vandals and the weather. Well, they haven’t done anything about the weather (not much you could do apart from sealing it in a perspex dome or something), but they have erected a tall metal fence (nicely topped with barbed wire) around it. They put up the first bit (which just ran along the street front) on Monday. I thought this was a bit dodgy personally as you could still just walk through the gate, but now they’ve finished the job and extended it right around the building. So, hopefully this means something is going to be done about restoring the place. Either that or they’re going to demolish it. Hopefully the former.

Here’s a photo I took on Tuesday (look at that barbed wire gleam!).

Helen I see is taking the opportunity to cook a caserole because she and Ali are having people round. I know exactly the problem she’s refering to, although I tend to run into it with Dolmio Pasta Bake. This, for those not in the know, is a range of pasta sauces you can buy at your local supermarket. You cook up some pasta, stick it in a caserole dish, pour on the sauce, then bake it in the oven for fifteen minutes or so. Most of the flavours are pretty good (although avoid the cheese and onion) but the jars are huge. So if you live alone and you cook it, you’re eating pasta bake for the next three days. Which is extremely annoying. I usually eat it for two days, then get so fed up with it that the final portion sits in the fridge until it goes off, and then I feel all guilty. *sigh*

OK, I’m gonna go now. It’s time for Wheel!! Of!! Fortune!!!

(Just kidding 🙂

Intransigent DNA Influenced Cute Woman of the Week: That girl with the black turtle neck and Lisa Loeb-style glasses on the train last Thursday 😉

PS: Elliot Smith is dead!?! Since when?? :((

Well that was an eventful weekend. I not only saw Pirates of the Carribean (cool film by the way, Johnny Depp is hilarious and Orlando Bloom is surprisingly non-annoying:), but tried to do some cartography (which was defeated by the fact that my GPS isn’t great on elevations) and almost got arrested for trying to smuggle a pocket knife into the airport.

Well OK, I wasn’t almost arrested, just looked at very sternly. And I wasn’t trying to smuggle it in, I just forgot it was in my backpack. But I still had to take off my belt and shoes and get glared at, which was fairly embarrassing. Hmmmm.

(We were there to pick up the aunts by the way, they were getting back from their QEII trip)

That’s about all I’ve got to say 🙂

Congratulations to the People’s Republic of China! Yey! 🙂

Well, the server was down all of last night. How about that then?

Anyway yesterday I made a momentous discovery. The Red Orchid does home delivery!!!

WOO-HOO!!!

Naturally I decided to take advantage of this fact (mainly because I couldn’t be bothered cooking anything) and ordered myself up a serve of chicken and crab spring rolls, and squid with cashew nuts. Oh, and a serve of deep fried squid to bring the order up to the $20 delivery threshold.

The squid – both serves – was of course great. The spring rolls on the other hand – well, pretty dissapointing. Dry and unpalatable would be the best description. Naturally I ate them (I paid for them damnit!) but I don’t know if I’ll be ordering them again. I’ll just get the deep fried squid instead 🙂

In other news I’ve decided to follow Helen’s lead and establish my own Nation State (several months late – I don’t even know if her one is still running :). Mine is the Federation of Zurvar Areana. Our motto is “Kebronal tagas mon dolfin holbeshikla” which is of course Zurvar for “On condition it doesn’t frighten the Dolphins”. So far I’ve decided that voting shouldn’t be compulsory, and to start a space program. Could be kind of fun. For a while 😀

Hmmm, nothing else to report. I’ll shut up now 🙂

Friday Night: The first really warm night of the year, combined with removalists working late into the evening. Result? Not enough sleep.

Saturday Night: Not quite as warm, but pretty humid. Also a full moon riding high and shining through the blinds. Result? Not enough sleep.

Sunday Night: A cold rainy day, with thick cloud cover. Low temperatures, no moon, no removalists. So what happens? A car thief being pursued by the cops decides to try to ram them – right outside the building. So the cops open fire – also right outside the building. So then there’s some kind of collision – again right outside the building. Result? Nowhere near enough sleep.

GAH!!

There’s been a faint but unmistakably nasty smell hovering around here for the last few days. Normally I’d attribute this to the bin needing emptying, but this particular miasma seemed to be strongest in the second bedroom (which is a good distance away from said bin). It only occured to me today to have a look out on the balcony.

The smell was indeed coming from the balcony. Specifically from a very deceased pigeon which had decided to ring down the curtain and join the choir invisible just outside the second bedroom window. By the looks of things several days ago.

Ack.

Luckily by some fluke of fate I happened to have all the equipment necessary to deal with this situation right at hand. Namely a pair of heavy duty, lined rubber gloves, a painter’s facemask, plenty of plastic bags and a spray can of Glen 20 hospital grade disinfectant. So I suited up (so to speak) and dealt with my ex-pigeon visitor in a highly efficient manner. He now rests in peace, bereft of life in several plastic bags at the bottom of the bin in the rubbish room, and the balcony (and most of the rest of the flat to be honest) smells nicely of disinfectant.

Germ phobic – Me? 🙂

In other second bedroom news, the Bed of Doom is no more! Or at least it’s no more at this address. Dom came around on Saturday and we disassembled it for transport to South Fremantle where he and Rebecca have found an apparently fantastic place to rent (which doesn’t mind the cats). The whole disassembly process went fairly smoothly, and we managed to get it down to the trailer without the caretakers wailaying us for the heinous crime of moving furniture on a weekend. We also managed to get it past the bogans downstairs without incidnent, although they did apparently comment on the quality of the wood. Dom’s theory is that they were interested in burning it.

And speaking of the bogans, they had a major falling out the other night. Not their usual late night screaming match, but a late night sobbing/swearing fest in the carpark. Sobbing by her, swearing by him. It was hard to figure out exactly what was going on, but apparently he was pretty upset with something she’d done. Sufficiently upset in fact to weave the f-word (and variations thereof) multiple times into every single sentance. “Don’t you f****** tell f****** me you’re f****** sorry for f****** f***’s sake because it’s f****** your f****** own f****** fault, f***!!!” for instance, all backed up by her sobbed apologies and professions of love. I did feel kind of sorry for her – whatever she’s done – but I must admit the thought that might be a relationship breaker for them was a somewhat pleasant one. If they have split up then there’ll be no more screaming competitions at 3:00 in the morning. Ah bliss!

Finally, Helen has suggested that the third of the frightening real estate men bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain Armin Shimerman. The truly frightening thing is that he does!! 🙂

Intransigent DNA Influenced Cute Woman of the Week: That Kelly girl who got kicked off Australian Idol. I have never watched an epsiode of that show in my life and I never intend to, but wow, she’s cute. Actually she kind of resembles Alison Mack now I think about it. *sigh* I’m so predictable 🙂

PS: I remember this show! I remember this show! 🙂