Category: News and Events

Incredible!

From that bastion of accurate and up to the minute reporting, news.com.au…

A MYSTERIOUS crack in the earth the size of five football fields has opened up in Wyoming’s Bighorn Mountains.

No one can explain the gigantic tear in the rock, which measures an extraordinary 685 metres long by 48 metres wide.

“The gash”, as locals are calling it, was discovered by hunting organisation SNS Outfitter & Guides, which posted a photo on Facebook in late October. An engineer from the town of Riverton went out to investigate, reporting that there appeared to have been an incredible 14 to 18 million metres of movement.

Incredible indeed!

It’s On!

Well, we’re all waiting with bated breath to see whether the utterly appalling Age of Tony will be ended by the people’s hero Malcolm Turnbull. Who – if he succeeds – will more than likely turn out to be just as bad. But hey! At least it’ll be a different kind of horror!

Of course, if Malcolm does get in it means the Liberals will have a chance to hang on to power at the next election. But maybe with him at the helm a continued Liberal government won’t be so bad. Alternatively, the fact that he (supposedly) disagrees with so many Liberal policies may just sow massive discord within the party and render them un-electable. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, and in the meantime enjoy the Schadenfreude!

EDIT: I have been waiting two years to post this!

Goodbye Tony! You won’t be missed!

Ancient

So, Dawn Fraser has outraged the nation by saying that Nick Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic should go back to where their parents came from.

It’s a pretty bloody objectionable thing to say – no doubt there – but it reminds me of something I thought back in 2007 when Sir Patrick Moore made some similarly unhinged comments about women. The thing you have to remember about Dawn (and Sir Patrick) is that she’s old. Practically ancient.

Dawn Fraser is 77. By the time a person gets to 77 the world has changed. The society they grew up in has gone, morphed into something wildly different several times over. So it’s only to expected that sooner or later they’ll do or say something badly out of step with the modern world.

So here’s my idea. Once someone – be they a public figure or a private citizen – reaches 75 we give them permission to say whatever crazy crap they want to, and in turn we completely ignore it. We don’t make a fuss, we don’t create a scandal. We just say “Good old Dawn” or “Good old Sir Patrick”, give them a pat on the back and move on. And if anyone feels offended we simply remind them that the person in question is old, set in their ways, and frankly not worth the bother.

Such a policy would benefit us all I think.

The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter II, The Shadow of the Past

‘I can’t understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death.’

‘Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.’

— Frodo and Gandalf discuss Gollum. The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter II, The Shadow of the Past

And Here’s Another Thing

In a follow up to yesterday’s surprising Eurovision news, there’s a petition begging TISM to reform and represent Australia in Vienna.

Naturally I have signed it. Can you watch this performance, and dare to claim that TISM would not fit right in in Eurovision?

Of course they couldn’t perform any of their classic tracks, one of the rules being that songs cannot have been commercially released prior to competing, but I’m sure they could whip something appropriate up. In any case a song like I Might be a C**t, But I’m not a F**king C***t would probably give Europe a collective stroke.

We’ll see, we’ll see…

Well, Here’s a Thing

Apparently, in recognition of the 60th anniversary of the Eurovision Song Contest and the fact that a lot of Aussies (including myself) watch it, Australia is going to compete in this year’s contest!

We get automatic entry into the final (along with all the usual suspects) and – assuming that they can figure out how to do it in a sensible fashion given the time difference – we’ll get to vote! In the event that we win (not entirely impossible given the huge novelty factor) next year’s contest will be held somewhere in Europe with heavy Australian involvement. It’s also the only way we’ll get to compete in 2016 – if we don’t win then it’s a one-off.

This is going to be interesting…

Of course I can hardly mention this without posting the greatest Eurovision song never to be entered in Eurovision.

They really must lose that sax solo.

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