Category: Musical Snobbery

The Head of Emily Kaye

The Dead Eyes Opened. The Dead Eyes Opened. The Dead Eyes Opened. The Dead Eyes Opened.

Ever since I first encountered the Severed Head’s classic proto-techno track Dead Eyes Opened as a teenager I’ve wondered if the narration was cut from the whole cloth or if it referred to a real murder…

Today, after many attempts over the years, I finally figured it out.

The spoken work component is from a radio broadcast of crime writer Edgar Lustgarten reading his account of what was known as the Crumbles Murder in which one Patrick Mahon murdered his mistress Emily Kaye in a beach cabin near Eastbourne, Sussex in 1924.

So there we go. One mystery down, so many to go…

Me China Mel Dancin’

My good friend Mel is dancing…

Doo-doo-doo-doo,
Yeah yeah yeah yeah-eah,

Yemen and his Igor photo me,
I’m on the phone, yous can each foresee,
Cool me down,
Rinse a mouse in front of me,
(front of me)
So that’s the way I felt then wa-ah-ah,
So we can eat a Hilton, la la la,
You’re so mean,
See there the melody,

Oh-wow-o-wow-ow,

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,

Me I’m flocking home giving up for stoats,
As I’m coming down I slip the ropes,
Cool me down,
The TARDIS taking over yeah,
(oh-wow-ow-wow-ow)
So that’s the way I felt then, wa-ah-ah,
So we can eat a Hilton, la-la-la,
You’re so mean,
See there the melody,

So come on,
Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,

So come on,
Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Sarah, Say it Ain’t So

Currently there’s a thread up on a board I frequent where people are sharing music via the wonder of YouTube. While perusing said thread I came across this piece by Nick Drake (who’s Nick Drake? Shame on you!)

While listening to it I couldn’t help thinking it sounded familiar. Then I realised why…

Now, maybe it’s just my tin ear. And maybe it’s difficult to construct a melancholy song around a descending scale without sounding like every other melancholy song constructed around a descending scale. And maybe it’s a tribute from Sarah Blasko to Nick Drake. But it really does seem a bit too close to me.

Say it ain’t so Sarah!

Mock My Taste!

Every song marked with five stars in my iTunes…

3 A.M. Eternal (Live At The S.S.L.) – The KLF
All Along the Watchtower – Bear McCreary
America, What Time is Love? – The KLF
Ana Ng – They Might Be Giants
And God Created Brixton – Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
Angel of Harlem – U2
Annie Waits – Ben Folds
Arrival of the Queen of Sheba (Solomon) – Handel
At the Bottom of Everthing – Bright Eyes
Bomb the World (Armageddon Version) – Michael Franti and Spearhead
Bus to Beelzebub – Soul Coughing
Canon – Funtwo
Carribean Blue – Enya
Copperhead Road – Steve Earl
Dancing Queen – ABBA
Det Snurrar I Min Skalle – Familjen
Experimental Film – They Might Be Giants
Gimme Sympathy – Metric
Girl Anachronism – The Dresdon Dolls
Girl From Mars – Ash
Gloria in Excelsis Deo – Vivaldi
Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac
Goodnight Moon – Shivaree
Heaven – DJ Sammy
Hold On – Tom Waits
How Soon is Now – The Smiths
Hymn to Her (7″) – Pretenders
Janie’s Got a Gun – Aerosmith
Last Train to Trancentral (LP Mix) – The KLF
Lock It (I Really Like You) – Falling Joys
Man it’s so Loud in Here – They Might Be Giants
Palaces of Montezuma – Grinderman
Read to Me – B(if)tek
Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) – Kate Bush
Santa Monica – Everclear
Scrub – Shivaree
Serenity – David Newman
Shining Light – Ash
Something Dark is Coming – Bear McCreary
Stone Me Into the Groove – Atomic Swing
Summer Rain – Belinda Carlisle
Sweet Child o’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
Take on Me – A-Ha
Temple of Love (Touched by the Hand of Orfa Hazra) – Sisters of Mercy
Tender is the Night (The Long Fidelity) – The Triffids
The Jeep Song – The Dresden Dolls
The Shape of Things to Come  – Bear McCreary
The Winner Takes it All – The Black Sweden
This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home – Murray Gold
Throw Your Arms Around Me – Hunters and Collectors
Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
True Dreams of Wichita (Live, Boston, 10-15-1996) – Soul Coughing
Walk Like a Man – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
Waterloo – ABBA
What’s He Building in There – Tom Waits
What Time is Love? (LP Mix) – The KLF
Wichita Lineman Was a Song I Once Heard – The KLF
Wickerman – Pulp
Wide Open Road – The Triffids
Winter (Second Movement) – Vivaldi

There’s still about 90% of my music collection to be ranked…

My Chiffon is Wet!

Disco Stu likes Disco Music!

Have you ever wandered what that disco song they keep using in the Simpsons is? Well, wonder no more, for here you may behold the campy horrors of Disco Tex and his Sex-o-Lettes with 1975’s Get Dancin’

Disco Stu likes Disco Music!

The Ice of FADADES

Here we see another performance from the incomparable, castle-dwelling, laser-building, French master of metal, FADADES!!

Unlike some of his other more ‘abstract’ videos, this one has an easily comprehensible plot. The alien FADADES comes to Earth and lands his spaceship in Egypt. Here he discovers that his precious ice keeps melting in the desert heat. This angers him, and as lightning flashes across the sky (no doubt a result of the disturbance caused by his ship plunging through the atmosphere) he curses. “BAD ICE!! DIE ICE!!” he shrieks over and over again.

Hey, it makes as much sense as anything else…

Extra Heretical!

For those not keeping track, this month is the 25th anniversary of Warhammer 40,000 – the first edition (the legendary Rogue Trader) being released in February 1987. Games Workshop is celebrating with events at their stores worldwide and is taking every opportunity to squeeze as much money as they can out of us poor devotees.

In comemoration of this momentous event I would very much like to make a celebratory video and whack it up on YouTube. Unfortunately, while I believe I would be entirely capable of making it, I simply don’t have the time to waste on something so stupid, and as such I shall merely describe it here…

We open with the 25th anniversary Aquila against a dark background. A frighteningly deep voice intones “In the grim darkness of the 41st millenium there is only….. DANCE!”. The rest of the video consists of animated  representatives of every army in the game doing the Caramelldansen against a series of apocalyptic backgrounds – except for an Imperial Commissar who insists on dancing to Falco instead.

Now c’mon, can you deny that such a video would be teh awesum?

Well, yes, you probably can.

In any case, here are examples of the ridiculous kinds of videos that inspired this ridiculous idea, for your enjoyment/torture…

Little Damn Heroes

You know it’s a shame that All Yours by Metric is associated with bloody-wooby-crap-sparkly-vampire movies, because it’s actually a fantastic love song.

Had to take Friday off work with a migraine headache. It was annoying because I was about five minutes from work when it hit, so I had no choice but to go in and try and do some work despite not being able to see properly (coding is pretty hard when half the characters keep popping in and out of visibility). After an hour I gave up, went home and slept until mid afternoon, at which point I was able to dose myself up on painkillers enough to do some work around the house.

On the plus side my extremely indulgent order from Quantum Mechanix came in. I am now the proud owner of a Firefly, and a limited edition Claudia-from-Warehouse-13 maquette (number 988 of 1000). The Firefly is sitting on my bookshelf, and Claudia is sitting by my monitor where she will (hopefully) keep my computer running more efficiently.

Finally big congrats to Helen and Rob on the safe arrival of Sebastian Robert. Here’s hoping you’re both getting enough sleep 😀

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