Category: Musical Snobbery

That Great 80’s sound

Here’s something to try. Put on your headphones, load up Rooms on Fire by Stevie Nicks, then mentally block out Ms Nicks’ gravelly singing and just listen to the music.

Knock out the jingly bells, sharpen up the quality a bit and it’d sound just like Ladyhawke wouldn’t it? (Or more accurately Ladyhawke would sound just like it).

Pip Brown has learnt her lessons well!

The Court of Ancient Grievances

Order! Order! The Court of Ancient Grievances is now in session!

It is hereby alleged that on or around the 9th of October 1998 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Thunderbirds are Coming Out by TISM contained “speculation about the sexual proclivities of the Thunderbirds puppets”, indicating that said reviewers had either not listened to the song, or when listening to the song did not pay even cursory attention to the lyrics.

It is furthermore alleged that on or around the 26th of February 2001 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated in relation to the song Heat Seeking Pleasure Machine by Paul Mac that “Paul Mac has a sexy voice”, indicating that said reviewers did not carry out any research or even bother to read the back of the CD case – both actions that would have uncovered the publicly available fact that the vocalist on said song was Tex Perkins of the Cruel Sea.

It is also alleged that on or around the 12th of June 2002 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Satisfaction by Benny Benassi was a cover of the Rolling Stones song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, indicating that said reviewers either failed to listen to the Benny Benassi song, failed to listen to the Rolling Stones song, or equally likely failed to listen to either.

Therefore, it is the opinion of this court that the music reviewers of the Sunday Times between the years 1998 and 2002 were a bunch of complete fart-artists labouring under the weight of a total and systemic contempt for music, the music listening public and their responsibilities as employees of the Sunday Times.

How plead the defendants?

(Note: The Court of Ancient Grievances acknowledges that this all happened a long time ago, and that it might in fact have been the music reviewers of the West Australian Newspaper who carried out these crimes against fact. If so, the Court apologises unreservedly to the music reviewers of the Sunday Times who presumably did not have their heads completely up their arses.)

Well, I never claimed to be Shakespeare

Pop Sonnets is great! Try figuring out each song before you read the tagline.

And while I can’t claim the same skill with letters as the bards behind the original, I couldn’t help but turn my hand to a bit of conversion from the modern…

Cruel seconds chase their course around the dial,
Sly minutes follow surely in their way,
Fast fading hours in darkness bring no smile,
And man may run no faster than the day,
Time’s arrow slips the clutch of all our care,
No method or design to stay its flight,
Small time remains, one night our love to share,
No morning shall come forth from out this night,
If dream this be I truly cannot bear,
A cynic’s coat I always having worn,
My hopes arise in contrast to despair,
God grant my plea to never see the dawn,
– Fain I would have the timepiece handless be,
One score and four hours left to spend with thee,

Now, who’s that by?

No Accounting for Crows

It’s weird when you stop and think about it. How could the band that produced a masterpiece like this…

…go on to commit an act of heinous musical vandalism like this?

Hmmm.

I’m off to see the Mythbusters tonight. Maybe they’ll be able to explain it…

Close Bitnami banner
Bitnami