Life and Associated Annoyances – Page 13

I Has a Monitor!

48 hours without the net. How did I manage it?

My new 24 inch LED monitor has been courier delivered to the office. Assuming that nothing goes wrong between now and when I get home, I am back in the 21st century! Hooray!

I also picked up some new speakers to replace the rather old and decrepit ones that have served my last three computers. Nothing special, but they do have a rather frightening looking sub-woofer. Not sure where I’ll put it.

Ah! Technological bliss!

On that subject I’m thinking of formatting my Asus Eee and installing Linux on it before I head off on my cruise in the new year. It’s not powerful enough to handle Windows 7 in any useful way, and I don’t like the idea of wandering around parts foreign running XP. I’ll only be using it to write, to store photos and to access the net when nothing with a bigger screen is available, so Linux should serve all my needs admirably. I’ll need to do some research…

Forciable Detox

My monitor has forsaken me!

Well, my home computer’s monitor has finally crapped out on me.

It’s been dying for a while. The power button hasn’t worked for about six months, and for the last few months it’s been refusing to wake up once it goes into sleep mode. I’ve been dealing with both problems by rigging up a monitor extension lead so I can directly cut and restore power without getting out of my chair, which has been serving to wake it up again. But yesterday morning nothing I did could get an image to appear. Dang.

Apparently the thing that most often goes bye-bye on Viewsonic monitors is the capacitors. These can be replaced, but unless you’re willing to do the work yourself the cost for parts and labour is generally about that of an entirely new monitor. So I guess I have some shopping to do.

On the plus side, this enforced break from using my home computer (I don’t have a spare monitor, so I can’t do squat) will serve as a nice detox from Fallout: New Vegas, which I’ve recently got back into and have been playing way too much. I’m getting seriously tetris-affected – I saw an agave plant in a garden over the weekend and had a sudden urge to harvest it. Not good. Not good at all 🙂

(As long as I don’t start seeing people’s body parts highlighted I should be OK though :))

Over and out.

Da Guv’na

They see him rollin’, they hatin’

Was crossing the road outside the office today when a most curious vehicle went past. It had a miniature West Australian flag flying from the bonnet, and the number plates were polished silver (well, probably aluminium) with big, chunky, 3D silver crowns in the middle.

A small amount of research later it appears that it was the car of His Excellency Mr Malcolm McCusker AO QC, 33rd Governor of Western Australia.

I don’t think he was actually in said vehicle as I only saw a driver and no passengers and I don’t imagine the Governor drives himself. I suppose he could have been ducking down in the back, but it does seem unlikely.

So that’s my excitement for the week!

Phone Games

Phone numbers. How do they work?

Saturday Morning. My mobile rings from an unknown number…

Me: Hello?
Caller (very weak, wavering, high pitched and slow voice): You told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Wuh? Uh… I’m, sorry but you seem to have the wrong number…
Caller: Oh. But you told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. You have the wrong number.
Caller: So you can’t pick up my old television set?
Me: No, I’m sorry but…
Caller: But you told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Well, I’m sorry but you’ve called the wrong…
Caller: So you won’t pick up my old television set?
Me: No, I’m sorry…
Caller: So who should I speak to to have my old television set picked up?
Me: I’m sorry! You have the wrong number! I’m just a person sitting at home! I’m not a moving company or a charity! You have the wrong number!
Caller: Oh……….. I have the wrong number?
Me: Yes!
Caller: Oh…… I’m sorry.
Me: That’s OK.
Caller: Oh. Goodbye… for now… (hangs up)
Me: For NOW??

Strapped for Cash

Quinoa and beans

I’m a bit strapped for cash at the moment. Not seriously so, just enough to be careful with what I’m spending until I move a bit further into the black. As such I haven’t been doing any grocery shopping and have instead been eating through everything in the fridge and pantry first. I’m pretty much down to the dregs now – my dinner tonight consisted of a steamed carrot, a baked potato and a tin of baked beans mixed with quinoa. Surprisingly enjoyable actually.

Breakfast options tomorrow are limited to more quinoa, cream of mushroom soup, barley, or another steamed carrot. Hmmmm.

Went to a quiz night on Friday at East Fremantle oval. Our table ended up coming second out of about thirty-five, which isn’t too bad – well, apart from the fact that there were no second prizes. Justin helped himself to some of the fancy water bottles in retaliation.

That’s all I’ve got say 🙂

Greetings!

Judgement by the masses

Greetings to anyone studying blogs at my old stomping grounds of Central TAFE.

(Are there still arcade games in the cafeteria? And are the ground floor toilets still like something out of Saw? Ah, memories!)

Apparently you find my blog boring. I’m trying to think of something to say in response to that that doesn’t sound passive aggressive, and am failing miserably. So I’ll just say that’s cool, and promise in future to try and reach hitherto unsuspected and unexplored levels of tedium for your delectation!

TAFE on good people! TAFE on!

My Own Personal Superpower!

I can hear things you’ll never hear!

I love the internet.

Thanks to this Boing Boing article I am now aware that it’s not normal to hear the following things…

One’s own heartbeat when at rest
One’s eyes moving in their sockets
The creak of one’s own joints and vertebrae
Ones own footsteps transmitted through one’s skeleton
One’s chewing and digestion
A deafening roaring and ringing noise every time one yawns

…and since I can hear those things it’s almost certain that I have Superior Canal Dehiscence – a deformation of the bones around the ear which allows me to perceive all kinds of interesting body noises that normal people are deaf to. How cool is that!?

Of course I should hardly be surprised at any weirdness going on with my ears – they’re so messed up that it’s a minor miracle I can hear anything at all, let alone the inner workings of my own body. Happily I seem to be mostly free of the rest of the nasty symptoms listed on the Wikipedia page. It’ll be an interesting point to raise with my GP next time I see him though!

Why I Laugh?

I have no truck with the Gregorian Calendar!

I was wondering this morning where my Census form is, and speculating on whether the Government believes that I actually exist.

My coworkers pointed out that the Census is on August 9th.

I maintained my stance of puzzlement over where my Census form is, and wondered how I was to fill it out tonight if they didn’t sent me one.

My coworkers pointed out that today is August 2nd.

Oh, how we laughed!

Worst. Saturday. Ever.

Pointlessness

I had plans for this weekend. Enjoyable plans. I was meant to be heading up to John Forrest National park on Saturday with Ryan and Ali. However, things did not go that way…

I needed to get to the bank. I have to swap some large quantities of cash between my savings account at what I shall call Bank A and my normal, day to day account at Bank B, in order to pay for my trip next year. At the same time I have some heavy strata fees coming up and need to make sure I’ve got the cash free to handle them.

I also had a mysterious package to pick up at the post office. Not my normal, close-by post office, but the one in Inglewood, which is so badly sited that I need to take two buses to get to it. Making things even more fun was the fact that if I didn’t get there ASAP they were going to send it back to wherever it came from.

So, I reluctantly cancelled the trip to the national park, and girded my loins to get it all sorted on Saturday morning.

I got up early and had a nutritious breakfast. I then hopped online to check when the bank opened…

…and discovered that it no longer opens on Saturdays. “BASTARDS!” was my reaction, realising that I wouldn’t be able to get over there again until my next day off over a week away. So I revised my plans to skip the bank and headed out to catch the bus to Morley. Which I did.

The wrong bus.

It wasn’t a huge problem as the bus I got went to Morley anyway, it just took the scenic route and arrived five minutes after the connecting bus I wanted departed, meaning I’d have to sit around for half an hour for the next one. On the upside it did go past a noodle bar near the bus station, which I decided to stop into on my way back for lunch, as I was quite in the mood for noodles.

I waited around and got the next connecting bus, which carried me to Inglewood. I jumped off opposite the post office and walked up to the doors… to discover it wasn’t open on Saturdays.

“SINCE WHEN??” was about the most repeatable thing I said.

Considering my options I decided to walk to my parents’ place a few kms away, beg them to pick up the parcel f0r me on Monday and get the train home. So I began my trek. My trek through the rain, thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to get back to Morley and wouldn’t be able to have those noodles I was thinking of.

About halfway – Glory be! – I stumbled across a noodle shop! Fantastic! I crossed the road and walked up to the door. It was locked. It was locked in complete contradiction with the opening hours posted on it, saying it should have opened an hour beforehand. I swore some more and kept walking. Through the rain.

I was just approaching my parents’ street, when something horrible occurred to me. The item I was trying to pick up was an International Signature Item. Could you get other people to pick up an International Signature Item?

I checked the notification slip. No.

More swearing ensued.

By now I was a broken, beaten man. I gave up on visiting the parents and slouched my way to the railway station. I got the train home and crawled into bed, having spent several hours achieving NOTHING.

Bah!

Dolphins? Pah!

Dolphins are seriously overrated.

Just what is the big deal with dolphins?

Everywhere I turn, everyone seems to love dolphins. See the dolphins! tourism ads proclaim. Meet the dolphins! Swim with the dolphins! Swim with the WILD dolphins! Everyone seems to go completely gaga over the damn things.

Well, here’s the thing. Dolphins are seriously overrated.

I’ve met the dolphins. I’ve met the wild dolphins. And they completely failed to impress me in any way.

For many years Australia’s premiere site for communing with wild dolphins was Monkey Mia right here in WA. There are plenty of other places to see dolphins these days, but that was the first place where wild dolphins started coming into the beach and begging for food. It’s still a major tourist draw, despite being in the middle of nowhere, and we stopped off there to meet the dolphins on a family trip back when I was in high school.

And we did meet the dolphins. Or at least the dolphin, as only one turned up. In the midst of a big crowd of tourists we waded waist deep into the ocean and saw the dolphin. We saw the dolphin, we touched the dolphin, we listened to a lecture about the dolphin courtesy of the ranger minding the dolphin, a few randomly selected folk fed fish to the dolphin, the dolphin bit my brother, then got bored and swam away, and we waded out of the ocean.

That was it. No great revelation. No amazing sense of joy, wonder and communication with another intelligent being – just standing around in cold, salty water prodding at something that could have been a wetsuit full of custard for all the profundity it provided.

We returned to Monkey Mia a few years later with my Aunt who was out from the UK and wanted to meet the dolphins. We sat around on the beach until the dolphins arrived and everyone stampeded down to the water – everyone except me that was, as I was reading a rather good book and couldn’t see the point in putting it down to go and stand in the water, gawking at something rather dull that I’d had my fill of the last time.

Everyone was wildly concerned. Didn’t I want to see the dolphins they asked? Was I alright? Was I feeling ill? Was I – my Aunt asked quietly to spare me any embarrassment – scared of the dolphins? No, I explained. I was fine, I’d just seen the dolphins before and didn’t feel that I needed to see them again.

They all looked at me as if I was dangerously insane, but then the lure of the dolphins proved too much and they scurried down to the water, leaving me to my book, which was far more interesting than any cetacean could ever be.

Now, pinnidpeds – particularly the otariidae – I have time for. They’re smart, playful and entertaining, and you can interact with them without getting wet (well, too wet). They have personalities. But dolphins… dolphins are just dull, and fail to excite me.

Read into that what you will – if that is, you have any time for reading while there are dolphins around.