Disparate Notes

Well, back to work tomorrow. Two weeks earlier than planned. At least I’ll be able to check out the Burgermeister.

The weather has been abominable for the last few days. Forty plus for most of the week. Today is meant to be a lot cooler so I’m throwing open the doors and windows to try and flush out all the warm, stale air that’s been building up.

My posts about FADADES earlier in the week seem to have enraged the FADADES fan community. Or at least one guy, who may well be the entirety of the FADADES fan community. Or maybe FADADES himself. In any case he left a very angry comment asking what’s wrong with FADADES. Not that much really, apart from his music sounding like Gollum and Donald Duck having an angle grinder fight in a firing range, and the man himself looking like Worzel Gummidge had to take a job at an S&M club to support his crack habit.

I spent Australia Day at Justin’s place helping him put up shelves in his garage. Hopefully they haven’t fallen down yet.

Ah, the Triple J Hottest 100. Gotye and Kimbra took out the number one spot, which really was no surprise. Several of the songs I voted for got in, which was nice, but overall I wasn’t terribly impressed. I guess 2011 wasn’t a fantastic year for music – or at least music that I like. Just another sign that I’m getting old I guess.

Let’s see, what did I vote for…

* Lanu/Megan Washington – Beautiful Trash – I am frankly astonished that this didn’t get in. Maybe it was released too early in the year for people to remember it.

* Seeker Lover Keeper – Even Though I’m A Woman – Got in at number 17. Good stuff!

* Luke Million – Arnold – Number 71. About where it deserved.

* Noah and the Whale – Waiting for my chance to come – Didn’t get in, although L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N did.

* Florence & The Machine – Shake It Out – Number 13. I expected it to get into the top 10, but 13 isn’t bad.

* Illy – Cigarettes – Number 35. Excellent.

* Crystal Fighters – At Home – No sign of this sadly

* Yuksek – On A Train – No sign of this either

* The Vaccines – Norgaard – Or this.

* Architecture In Helsinki – Escapee – Number 55. Not bad.

And others that I liked…

* The Wombats – Techno Fan – Number 26. Excellent!

* CSS – Hits Me Like A Rock – No sign of this.

* Stanton Warriors – Get Up – Or this.

* Jay-Z & Kanye West – No Church In The Wild – I expected this to do really well, but it didn’t turn up. No accounting for taste I guess.

* Bluejuice – Act Yr Age – Number 20. Bluejuice always do well.

So yeah. That was that.

Finally, in my wanderings around the net over the last week I stumbled across Romantically Apocalyptic – a beautifully drawn (painted?) yet completely deranged post-apocalyptic webcomic. Insofar as it can be summed up it deals with the adventures of zee Captain and his three minions in the nuclear-winter ensnared ruins of a gigantic city. Zee Captain is completely insane but has almost supernatural levels of luck, ensuring his continued survival – and the continued suffering of his erstwhile companions. There’s also some rather strange videos…

In any case, it’s well worth checking out. Even if you can’t figure out what’s going on (even I have trouble with it sometimes) the art is astounding.

That’s all I’ve got to say…

Confessions of Influence

Distorting history since 2001!

Forgive me father for I have sinned…

Way back in the dark ages of the internet (about 2001) I created a page on Wyrmworld about the Caproni CA 60 – one of the most ridiculous aircraft ever constructed. It’s still up there if you know where to look. On this page I noted that the plane was “mysteriously” destroyed in a fire after crashing and going in for repairs.

Now, the CA 60 was certainly destroyed in a fire, but the suggestion that there was anything “mysterious” about it was a humorous supposition on my part. I had absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that the fire was anything but an accident, but I thought it concluded the page quite nicely to suggest that Count Caproni decided to cut his loses and run.

Now, ten years later what do I find when I do some research on the CA 60? References all over the place to it being “mysteriously” destroyed in a fire. I can’t swear that this is all down to me, but it certainly worries me when I’m lying awake at 3:00am unable to sleep.

Sort of related is this page on Wikipedia, and this website. Both mention the following definition of “Aku-Aku”…

verb. To move a tall, flat bottomed object (such as a bookshelf) by swiveling it alternatively on its corners in a “walking” fashion. [After the book by Thor Heyerdahl theorising the statues of Easter Island were moved in this fashion.]

The thing is, I made that up. It’s not as bad as the previous example because I made it up on a website devoted to the creation of new words (the now pretty much defunct langmaker.com), but it’s a bit of a surprise nonetheless. The Wikipedia page in particular needs some fixing, as it seems to suggest that Heyerdhal named his book after my definition of the phrase, which is completely arse-backwards and downright dangerous to history.

Even worse, I actually kinda-sorta lied in my initial definition. Although Heyerdahl did eventually theorise that the Easter Island statues were moved in such a fashion, the book Aku-Aku makes no mention of it whatsoever. Apparently no one has ever bothered to go back and check, which is of course the leading cause of 90% of popular historical inaccuracies.

Who ever knew that this internet thing could be so dangerous? ;D

For Reference Purposes

Behold the God Machines of the Omnissiah!

The battle against rickettsiae continues. I’m still sick, but not quite as sick as I was yesterday. However I’ve completely run out of tissues so it feels just as bad as yesterday. Sigh.

In any case I’ve spent my time today cancelling reservations and preparing to contact my travel insurance company to beg for money. To calm myself down from this I’ve also just spent a few hours researching 40k Titans and seeing what I could figure out about the vexatious issue of scale. So I can find these easily in future, I thought I’d put them here.

So here is height and scale data for Imperial Titans (as far as I’m concerned :))

Imperial Knight Titan (Rarely mentioned these days)
Tabletop: 15 cm / 5.9 inches
Real Scale: 9m /29.5 feet

Warhound Titan
Tabletop: 25 cm / 9.8 inches
Real Scale: 15m / 49.2 feet

Reaver Titan
Tabletop: 40 cm / 15.75 inches
Real Scale: 24m / 78.7 feet

Warlord Titan
Tabletop: 60 cm / 23.6 inches
Real Scale: 36m / 118 feet

Emperor Titan
Tabletop: 90 cm / 35.4 inches
Real Scale: 54m / 177 feet

It would be nice for the Emperor Titan to be bigger (one of my calculations suggested 180 metres, which would require a tabletop model 3 metres tall!), but around 54 metres seems to be the most reasonable figure.

Hope that helps someone out, if only me 🙂

Dachshund Antibiotics

The title is a pun…

OK, I couldn’t get the code installed to take the Wyrmlog offline in protest over SOPA/PIPA today. Let’s just pretend, OK?

Here’s some info about the issue.

Saw the Doc yesterday and he’s confirmed that I probably have typhus. I’m on some pretty powerful antibiotics (the kind where you can’t go outside because your skin will slough off on exposure to sunlight) that should sort me out in short order.

I hope.

You Can Dance if You Want To

We built this city on Rock and Roll…

Thanks for the concern everyone. I’m feeling a bit better now – mentally if not physically – and can start to think about what went wrong without wanting to curl up and die.

On the physical side I’m sick as a dog, so it’s probably best that I got of the ship when I did – I’d rather be sick as a dog at home than in the middle of the Tasman sea. There’s at least the chance that I’ve caught a mild case of typhus off a tick that attacked my leg, but I’m off to see the doctor today who’ll presumably give me a firm diagnosis and some pills to fix it.

As a final note, if I can pull myself together enough to get the plugin installed I intend to take the Wyrmlog dark tomorrow as part of the worldwide SOPA/PIPA protest. So if you come to visit and there’s nothing here, don’t panic. It’ll all be back to normal soon enough.

On another subject, may I present this?

Oh, ok then, no 😉

A Dark Place

So, am I sailing the ocean blue, heading for adventures in New Zealand?

No, I am not. I am sitting in my apartment in Perth wallowing in a nasty combination of embarrassment, humiliation, disappointment, anger and worry about how much money I’ve wasted.

Turns out I hate cruising. After two days on board the boat I felt so wretched that my only option was to jump ship at Melbourne and fly home. So I’m not going to New Zealand, I’m not seeing all the cool stuff I was looking forwards too, and I’m pretty pissed off at the world and myself for not realising that life on a cruise ship would be hellish for an Aspie like myself.

So, I need to cancel all my reservations in New Zealand, alert my bank that I’m back in Perth so they won’t block my card and get in touch with my travel insurance to see if there’s any way I can get any of my money back. I’m not hopeful on that last one, but I’ll try.

I’ve also got to try and reconcile myself to another magnificent failure at living. If American sit-coms are anything to judge by, this is the kind of thing best treated by consuming vast amounts of alcohol and going to a strip club, but that’s not going to happen, so I’ll need to figure something else out. Give me a week or so and I should be coming out of this horrible funk. I hope.

Man I suck.

ATO WTF (FML)

FML

Delay in the processing of your 2011 income tax return

Dear [Purple Wyrm]

We are writing to advise of a delay in the processing of your recently lodged 2011 tax return. Your return will be reviewed as it has been identified as containing some information that we want to further investigate prior to issuing an assessment.

We are using specialist technology to help us identify and review returns that may contain missing and/or incorrect information. Claims outside normal individual or industry ranges will result in all aspects of a person’s tax position being reviewed. Last year 71% of these returns were adjusted prior to the notices of assessment issuing. This resulted in an increase in the amount of tax payable and in many instances a penalty was also imposed.

Some of the common issues identified include:
* understated income and/or fictitious payment summary details
* overstated or fraudulent deductions
* non entitlement to claimed offsets/rebate
* instances of identity takeover.

What we will do
We have a responsibility to the government and the community to ensure that everyone pays the correct amount of tax under the law. We will be undertaking further investigations and will compare the information in your return with data supplied by other parties, such as employers.

We anticipate your return is likely to be delayed for a minimum of 12 weeks while we conduct our investigations. We will hold your 2011 return until are investigations are finalised.

What happens next
If during the course of these investigations we are able to cross reference information you have reported in your tax return with information provided by other parties, we will issue your notice of assessment without the need to contact you further.

If we require further information to verify particular details within your return we will contact you and request it. If you have claimed work-related expenses exceeding $300 in total then you should ensure you have the written evidence available in case it is requested.

Credit interest is payable by the Australian Tax Office (ATO) in certain circumstances. If you are due a refund you may be entitled to an amount of credit interest as a result of the delay in issuing your notice of assessment. Where applicable we will automatically calculate and credit your account with the interest amount payable.

For more information
If you are expecting a refund and experiencing serious financial hardship we may be able to arrange for your return to be processed as a priority. Visit www.ato.gov.au and search for ‘hardship’.

If you then have any further questions please phone 13 28 61 between 8:00am and 6:00pm, Monday to Friday.

If you need assistance in languages other than English please phone the Translating and Interpreting Service on 13 14 50.

What if you need to phone us
We need to know we are talking to the right person before we can discuss your tax affairs. We will ask for details only you or someone you have authorised would know. An authorised person is osmeone who you have previously told us can act on your behalf. If you can, please have your tax file number (TFN) with you.

Yours sincerely

[Some ATO Pleb]

 

What the hell?!? What in the name of all that’s sane and holy would trigger the ATO to ‘investigate’ my tax return claim?!? I haven’t done anything the slightest bit different to the last ten claims I’ve put in and yet suddenly I’m under suspicion of tax fraud???

Not only does this mean that I won’t get my return in time for my holiday (which I was really hoping for) but the entire trip will have a cloud over it – not knowing if I’m going to be raided by the AFP or something on my return. Great. Thanks for that ATO.

(Need I add that I have never attempted to defraud the tax system in my life? I mean, sure, that’s exactly what someone who has attempted to defraud the tax system would say, but it’s still the truth.)

*Sigh*

Later: I just called the ATO to try and find out what’s going on and advise them I’ll be out of the country for a few weeks of their “investigation”, and it turns out they’re all on holidays until next week. Our tax dollars at work!

International/Intestinal Instability

Had a great time catching up with the guys at Trigg Beach on Saturday (photos are up on my Flickr stream). I ended up taking home a fair bit of leftover food, and ate some of it yesterday, which probably has something to do with me waking up this morning with a case of either food poisoning or gastroenteritis. Not fun, but after drugging myself up and sleeping until 4:00 I’m feeling somewhat more human. Somewhat.

In other news Kim Jong Il is dead. Hold on to your hats everyone, this is likely to be a bumpy ride…

Good News in the Trouser Department

Testicular microlithiasis for the win!

Well, I am pleased to report that – after numerous medical tests – it turns out that I don’t have testicular cancer.

Not only would it have put a serious cramp in my style (and, you know, possibly killed me) but it would have completely ruined my upcoming holiday.

On the downside I now have no excuse to join a Fight Club 😉

The Importance of Data

I’m not who you think I am.

You know, I’m not as smart as people think I am.

I mean, yeah, I’m smart. I can say without too much unjustified arrogance that I’m a lot smarter than the average Joe on the street. But the thing is I come off as being far smarter than I actually am, because I have a vast amount of readily available data to draw on.

I’m knowledgeable. I’m really knowledgeable. This is one of the advantages that having a differently structured brain gives you. Sure, an autistic brain is retarded (I use the phrase in it’s literal sense of ‘held back’, so don’t be getting all up in my grill ‘kay?) socially, but it’s fantastic at storing and quickly retrieving ridiculous amounts of information. I absorb information like a sponge, and can usually pull it up for processing with a moment’s notice. Combine this with a merely higher than average IQ and it comes out looking positively phenomenal.

Trust me, I’m not really as smart as you think. Look at maths for instance. I can’t do maths in my head at all, I just don’t have the working memory for it. Give me a pen and pad to act as an external buffer and I can crunch numbers until the cows come home, but ask me to add two three digit numbers in my head (what’s 528 plus 234?), and I really struggle – I just can’t hold all the number combinations in my brain at the same time.

And time. I have very little sense of time. I caught up with Fabes over the weekend and he pointed out that it’s been six months since we last spoke. I would guessed it was one and a half, maybe two months tops. That’s just stupid 🙂

So yeah, don’t overestimate my intelligence folks. I don’t have a terribly fast processor, and very limited RAM – my fast System Bus and massive hard drive just make it seem like I do 🙂

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