Category: Geekery

Extra Heretical!

For those not keeping track, this month is the 25th anniversary of Warhammer 40,000 – the first edition (the legendary Rogue Trader) being released in February 1987. Games Workshop is celebrating with events at their stores worldwide and is taking every opportunity to squeeze as much money as they can out of us poor devotees.

In comemoration of this momentous event I would very much like to make a celebratory video and whack it up on YouTube. Unfortunately, while I believe I would be entirely capable of making it, I simply don’t have the time to waste on something so stupid, and as such I shall merely describe it here…

We open with the 25th anniversary Aquila against a dark background. A frighteningly deep voice intones “In the grim darkness of the 41st millenium there is only….. DANCE!”. The rest of the video consists of animated  representatives of every army in the game doing the Caramelldansen against a series of apocalyptic backgrounds – except for an Imperial Commissar who insists on dancing to Falco instead.

Now c’mon, can you deny that such a video would be teh awesum?

Well, yes, you probably can.

In any case, here are examples of the ridiculous kinds of videos that inspired this ridiculous idea, for your enjoyment/torture…

Little Damn Heroes

You know it’s a shame that All Yours by Metric is associated with bloody-wooby-crap-sparkly-vampire movies, because it’s actually a fantastic love song.

Had to take Friday off work with a migraine headache. It was annoying because I was about five minutes from work when it hit, so I had no choice but to go in and try and do some work despite not being able to see properly (coding is pretty hard when half the characters keep popping in and out of visibility). After an hour I gave up, went home and slept until mid afternoon, at which point I was able to dose myself up on painkillers enough to do some work around the house.

On the plus side my extremely indulgent order from Quantum Mechanix came in. I am now the proud owner of a Firefly, and a limited edition Claudia-from-Warehouse-13 maquette (number 988 of 1000). The Firefly is sitting on my bookshelf, and Claudia is sitting by my monitor where she will (hopefully) keep my computer running more efficiently.

Finally big congrats to Helen and Rob on the safe arrival of Sebastian Robert. Here’s hoping you’re both getting enough sleep đŸ˜€

You’re a Solarsaurus!

Who fries molasses?

Dagnabit! Why didn’t they have anything this cool when I was a kid?

Official B.P.R.D. Training Camp (AKA, Hellboy Camp)

On another subject, just for the hell of it, I decided to transcribe the “lyrics” of that French black metal monstrosity I posted yesterday. These of course are not the real lyrics, as FADADES is presumably screeching and gurgling in French, but I quite like my interpretation…

I’m sorry, stray asses!
Starla!
You sold us! Tell us!
Rastas!
You’re a solarsaurus!
You sold us! Sold us!
He lives… Stole us!
Aarrrrrgh!
Truth! Urrrgh!
Who? Who fries molasses?
Starla!
He stole us! Tell us!
This… You liars! With us!
Urgh!
To us! Trust!
You sell us! Urgh!
Stole us! Arrgh!
Starla!
Space…
You liars! With us!

Who fries molasses indeed FADADES? Who fries molasses indeed…

Dark Fruits of the Mind

Anyone actually singing this in the 41st Millennium would be up before the Inquisition so fast…

The thing about having a creative brain is sometimes it’ll create things you just don’t want it to. And the only way to get rid of things that it’s created against your will is to spit them out into the world – otherwise they’ll lurk in the dark corners of your mind and jump out to torment you when you least expect them to.

As such, I am reluctantly forced to subject you all to this monstrosity. I’m so, so sorry…

My mother was the keeper of the orbital dock,
And she slept with a sanctionite warlock,
Out of this union came children three,
An ogryn and a ratling and the other was me,

Oh now see the Emperor’s light!
Oh for the life of a sanctionite!

One cycle I testing out the ammo feed,
Belting out a verse of the Omnissiah’s Creed,
A voice from behind me said “Hey there!”
I turned to see my father floating in midair,

Oh now see the Emperor’s light!
Oh for the life of a sanctionite!

What has become of my children three?
My father then he asked of me,
One was fed to the Emperor’s throne,
The other was converted to a servitor drone,

Oh now see the Emperor’s light!
Oh for the life of a sanctionite!

The warp fire flashed in his skull white hair,
I looked again and my father wasn’t there,
A voice came echoing from the airlock,
“To the warp with the keeper of the orbital dock!”

Oh now see the Emperor’s light!
Oh for the life of a sanctionite!

For Reference Purposes

Behold the God Machines of the Omnissiah!

The battle against rickettsiae continues. I’m still sick, but not quite as sick as I was yesterday. However I’ve completely run out of tissues so it feels just as bad as yesterday. Sigh.

In any case I’ve spent my time today cancelling reservations and preparing to contact my travel insurance company to beg for money. To calm myself down from this I’ve also just spent a few hours researching 40k Titans and seeing what I could figure out about the vexatious issue of scale. So I can find these easily in future, I thought I’d put them here.

So here is height and scale data for Imperial Titans (as far as I’m concerned :))

Imperial Knight Titan (Rarely mentioned these days)
Tabletop: 15 cm / 5.9 inches
Real Scale: 9m /29.5 feet

Warhound Titan
Tabletop: 25 cm / 9.8 inches
Real Scale: 15m / 49.2 feet

Reaver Titan
Tabletop: 40 cm / 15.75 inches
Real Scale: 24m / 78.7 feet

Warlord Titan
Tabletop: 60 cm / 23.6 inches
Real Scale: 36m / 118 feet

Emperor Titan
Tabletop: 90 cm / 35.4 inches
Real Scale: 54m / 177 feet

It would be nice for the Emperor Titan to be bigger (one of my calculations suggested 180 metres, which would require a tabletop model 3 metres tall!), but around 54 metres seems to be the most reasonable figure.

Hope that helps someone out, if only me đŸ™‚

You Can Dance if You Want To

We built this city on Rock and Roll…

Thanks for the concern everyone. I’m feeling a bit better now – mentally if not physically – and can start to think about what went wrong without wanting to curl up and die.

On the physical side I’m sick as a dog, so it’s probably best that I got of the ship when I did – I’d rather be sick as a dog at home than in the middle of the Tasman sea. There’s at least the chance that I’ve caught a mild case of typhus off a tick that attacked my leg, but I’m off to see the doctor today who’ll presumably give me a firm diagnosis and some pills to fix it.

As a final note, if I can pull myself together enough to get the plugin installed I intend to take the Wyrmlog dark tomorrow as part of the worldwide SOPA/PIPA protest. So if you come to visit and there’s nothing here, don’t panic. It’ll all be back to normal soon enough.

On another subject, may I present this?

Oh, ok then, no đŸ˜‰

Watching the FSL

I’ve been keeping half an eye on the FSL lately, so was quite pleased to stumble across the FSL Tonight podcast . Serenity Valley (Go Browncoats!) are doing pretty well at the moment (apart from that fiasco on Vulcan) which is good to see – but I can’t help feel sorry for the Mudders (they can call themselves the “Jaynes” all they like, they’re still the Canton Mudders as far as I’m concerned).

They’re rapidly becoming the buttmonkeys of the league, but they’re really not that bad a team – they’ve just been promoted above their level. It was only that 31/0 home win over the Exterminators that pushed them through, and that was only down to the field conditions at Canton immobilising the entire Skaro side. Now they’ve joined the big leagues and are getting completely steamrolled. Poor guys.

Roll on the finals!

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