Books and Literature – Page 8

Winter is Coming

Earlier this week I had the singular pleasure of playing the Game of Thrones board game with a bunch of Paula and Bek’s friends. It was a fun afternoon, made even more fun by the fact that I – as House Tyrell – stumbled my way through to winning. I ascribe my victory to the following factors…

1: Keeping a low profile and not attacking any of the other players until well into the game.
2: It was the first time any of us had played, so we were all learning the rules as we went along.
3: A very opportune Westeros card came along at just the right moment to break House Baratheon’s defensive strategy and let me grab Kings Landing.

If we play again I don’t expect to win so easily 🙂

I have been thinking about the game since however, and have come up with what could be an interesting variant (or a horrible, horrible travesty). The game as it stands doesn’t do anything with the seasons of Westeros. I think it could be interesting to play a game where Winter is most definitely coming…

New Rules

* These rules come into effect at the start of Turn Six or (OPTIONAL) as soon as a “Winter is Coming” Westeros card is revealed.
* At the start of every Westeros Phase, before the cards are drawn, the Wildling track is automatically advanced by one.
* Territories with Supply and Consolidate icons lose them at a rate of 1 per turn (if a territory has both Supply and Consolidate icons, it loses one of each).
* Supply is recalculated at the end of every Westeros Phase.
* Players may pay Power Tokens to prevent their supply counter from being moved down the Supply track at a rate of 1 Token for 1 level. For example, if House Lanister’s Supply Counter is going to be moved three places down the track, they can pay three Tokens to leave it where it is, two Tokens for it to move down one place, or one Token for it to move down two places. Tokens CANNOT be used to move the counter up the track.
* OPTIONAL RULE: At the start of the Westeros Phase, all counters are moved one space down the King’s Court influence track. Counters moving off the bottom of the track are removed. The Raven is retained by the holder of the highest position on the track, until only two counters are left on the track, at which point it is removed from play. Bidding for position on the track is played as normal, but bidding cannot place a counter higher than the current maximum (ie: if the tokens have moved down two spaces, then the winner of the bidding places their token on space 3).

These rules would ensure that once winter sets in, everything will go completely to hell in the most entertaining fashion 😀

Back to work on Monday. Blech.

Excuses, Excuses…

I know I promised a review of The Hobbit, but we’re currently on the sixth day in a row with temperatures exceeding 37 degrees, so brain no working good so much not yus.

In the meantime here’s some Lord of the Rings content to tide you over…

With Apologies to Mitchell and Webb…

Thorin and Company are trapped at the top of a bunch of burning pine trees, surrounded by Goblins and Wargs…

Thorin Oakenshield: Right! This is a bad situation, but I have a plan! On my word, everyone leap down, weapons drawn, on the nearest warg. Go for the throats first, then turn your axes on the goblins. Not all of us will make it, but we’ll make a damn good accounting for ourselves!

Gandalf: Yes… yes… Or I could just summon a flock of giant eagles to come to our rescue..?

Thorin Oakenshield: ……ok.

Gandalf: EAGLES COME FORTH!!

Gandalf and Legolas have been trapped on the highest pinnacle of Orthanc by Saruman the white wizard…

Legolas: Alright! We’ll wait until the next time Saruman comes up to gloat at us. I’ll climb up on the statuary and loose a rain of arrows upon him, while you blind him with a sorcerous flash. Then we’ll take the stairs and fight our way down, grabbing the palantir on the way out!

Gandalf: Yes… very good… Or I could just summon a flock of giant eagles to come to our rescue..?

Legolas: ……ok.

Gandalf: EAGLES COME FORTH!!

The army of Gondor stands before the Black Gate. The forces of Sauron are in disarray, the ground shakes and ash falls from the sky as the One Ring is consumed in the fires of Orodruin…

Aragorn: The Ringbearer has completed his quest! The power of Sauron is broken forever! Assemble the most skilled riders and the fastest horses – if there is any hope that Frodo and Sam yet survive, we must ride for Mount Doom with haste!

Gandalf: That would work… Or I could just summon a flock of giant eagles to fly to the mountain and rescue them..?

Aragorn: ……ok.

Gandalf: EAGLES COME FORTH!!

(Saw The Hobbit last night. I’ll post my thoughts later but in the meantime I couldn’t get this ridiculous parody out of my head :))

Y’ha-nthlei is Deeper than they know…

The festive season is definitely upon us – I can’t get It’s Beginning to look a lot like Fishmen out of my head.

Still, I suppose it’s better than getting earwormed by the original version…

World War Dud

One of my fav0urite books of the last few years is Max Brooks’ World War Z. It’s an amazing example of both storytelling and world building, and so enjoyable that I’ve read the entire thing four or five times.

The trailer for the movie adaption was released a few days ago… Oh dear…

Running zombies? RUNNING ZOMBIES!? I don’t know what book they’ve been reading, but it ain’t World War Z.

Well, at least that’s one less movie I’ve got to make time to see…

Hitting the Heights

It seems odd to me that AD&D’s Ravenloft setting never included a version of Wuthering Heights.

Think about it. You’ve got the perfect Dark Lord in the form of Heathcliff, torturing his household and tormented by his memories of Catherine. Catherine would actually be a ghost, tapping on the windows at night and increasing Heathcliff’s torment. The Domain would consist of the bleak, high moors, with a few scattered houses and a single village, and the borders would be sealed when necessary by raging sleet and hail storms.

It’s such a natural fit that its lack boggles the mind. Were there no English Majors at TSR?

While on the subject of Wuthering Heights, I don’t believe that it’s possible for any human being to sing as high as Kate Bush does in the first few bars of her song based on the book. Her pitch is either a post-recording effect, or she is some kind of alien masquerading as a human being.

(I know where I’m putting my money… :D)

Oh, can I also mention Kate Beaton’s brilliant take on the book?

Wuthering Heights: Part 1
Wuthering Heights: Part 2
Wuthering Heights: Part 3

On the Death of Slaydo

Thinking about things way too much

I’ve been wondering for a while about the conflicting accounts of the death of Warmaster Slaydo in Dan Abnett’s Gaunt’s Ghosts series…

First and Only states that Slaydo announced Maccaroth as his successor and promoted Gaunt to Colonel Commissar on his deathbed. The Sabbat Worlds Crusade features a painting of “The Death of Slaydo”, showing the Warmaster passing away surrounded by a bunch of concerned Generals and other officers. But Gaunt, in Blood Pact, states that Slaydo was struck down on the battlefield, and his body dragged away and mutilated by the enemy. So, what gives?

To solve this mystery, remember rule number one – the Imperium lies.

Gaunt’s recollections of Slaydo’s end are entirely accurate. But the Imperium would never admit to cocking up so badly as to let the body of the Warmaster fall into enemy hands. So, they concocted the story of his being rescued and having the time to issue a bunch of orders before peacefully slipping away surrounded by his loyal staff. They even commissioned an artist to depict the scene, and had Tactician Biota recount it in his his historical account of the Crusade. His “deathbed” orders were prepared by him prior to the battle in case of his death, and carried out by his subordinates.

(There is still the problem of tourists being shown Slaydo’s “Death Venue” on the battlefield on Balhaut, but the Balhaut tour guides are shown to be horribly inaccurate anyway. Anyone familiar with the deathbed account who visits Balhaut would probably assume that the marker shows where Slaydo was mortally wounded rather than actually killed, and that their guide doesn’t know what they’re talking about.)

So, there we have it. Problem solved! You can send me my cheque now Mr Abnett 😉

Edit: I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to ask Mr Abnett about this, and he pretty much confirmed my version of events. Good to know!

I’m Back Baby!

I’m back. Well, I’ve actually been back since Thursday afternoon, I just haven’t got around to making a post about it. As I kind of suspected, my hard drive was to blame. It was on the verge of complete failure, so I needed to get a new one put in and Windows reinstalled from scratch. Bwah.

On the upside, the machine now seems to be running beautifully. Thanks to semi-regular backups and that Ubuntu disk I mentioned I don’t seem to have lost any serious data – just my iTunes playlists and ratings, which is a pain, but not a major one.

On a completely different subject, I know I’m completely behind the curve on this one, but isn’t the opening sequence of Games of Thrones astonishing?

Back to work tomorrow. Bwah 🙁

Reading the Runes

Lego is releasing models for the Lord of the Rings. This is a combination of two of my favourite things, and is hence awesome! 🙂

There’s one thing that’s bothering me though. One of the panels in the Mines of Moria set is decorated with text written in the cirth…

Cool, no? Except that I can’t for the life of me figure out what it’s meant to say.

If my interpretation is correct, it appears to read ndigwbndio pdy eobo.

I have no idea what this means.

So, am I using the wrong mode? Is it written in Khuzdul, or Sindarin? Or maybe Maori or Danish? Or is it just decorative gibberish? I have absolutely no idea, and it’s going to drive me nuts until I figure it out.

Later: Bah! It’s not the Cirth, it’s standard Futhark and says “Diordie was here”. Bastards! ;D

Nextwave

Finally got around to reading Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. over the weekend. My opinion? One of the funniest things I’ve read in ages.

For those unfamiliar, Nextwave is Warren Ellis’s deconstruction of modern super hero comics. He describes it himself thusly…

“It’s an absolute distillation of the superhero genre. No plot lines, characters, emotions, nothing whatsoever. It’s people posing in the street for no good reason. It is people getting kicked, and then exploding. It is a pure comic book, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. And afterwards, they will explode.”

He forgets to add that it’s freaking hilarious.

Having read something freaking hilarious it’s very tempting to expound on the bits that were particularly freaking hilarious. I’m not going to do that, since not encountering them in context would spoil the jokes. But I will mention the following things…

Purple underpants
Rocket Submarines
The French
Tabby’s Mindlessness
Letters that don’t stand for things
The big bad’s intestinal problems
The entire existence of the Captain

Track it down and read it people. You won’t be disappointed.

PS: The book managed to inflict a bit of a crush on Tabby on me. There’s something about an insanely stupid woman that makes me go all masculine and protective – which is ridiculous because I’d most likely want to throttle myself after spending ten minutes with one 🙂