Really? That seems rather inconvenient…

Ah….

OK, I think Servants of the Imperium has been hacked… (Not Safe For Work!)

(The hackers have been changing it up a bit, so the title of this post doesn’t make much sense anymore. Move along!)

(Much Much Later: Note for future generations and other interested parties – at the time I originally wrote this entry the Servants of the Imperium site had been replaced with a somewhat undecorous illustration of two men engaged in, shall we say, “the art of love”, with the caption This is how I play 40k with my boyfriend)

Oh for the love of…

Bob Marley? Seriously?

Emotional Bag Check seems like a really cool idea, but the level of musical knowledge displayed by the top 25 list of recommended songs listed on PerthNow is just appalling!

BOB MARLEY DID NOT SING DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY YOU PHILISTINES!!!!

It’s by Bobby McFerrin and was released in 1988 – SEVEN YEARS AFTER MARLEY DIED!!!

Not every singer with a deep voice and Jamaican accent is Bob Marley, for crying out loud!!

Similarly songs number 5 (Three Little Birds) and number 23 (Everything’s Gonna Be Alright) are the same freakin’ song! Unless of course by Everything’s Gonna Be Alright they actually mean No Woman, No Cry.

I don’t own a single Bob Marley album and I know this stuff. Sheeze!

Well at least I can take comfort in the fact that a song from A Very Potter Musical makes it onto the list – although I can’t really discount the possibility that this is only because Darren Criss is on Glee now…

Monster – Part 2

Casting Wild Aspersions

I called up the electricians about my invisible smoke alarm. They were nice, reasonable and apologetic about it, and are sending out a revised invoice.

Damn. I’d worked myself up to do my best Victor Meldrew impersonation…

…Well there isn’t a smoke alarm! No smoke alarm has been installed! Unless it’s cunningly concealed inside the pile of discarded wires and brick dust your workmen so thoughtfully left in my kitchen…

…No! I don’t care what ‘Barry’ says! The words ‘smoke alarm’ at no point issued forth from his lips during the entire procedure! A large number of other quite unprofessional ones did, but ‘smoke alarm’ was not amongst  them!…

…Well if ‘Barry’ or one of your other trained neandertals can be bothered to come down here and show me the smoke alarm he claims to have installed, I’ll happily pay your account. But until then you’re not getting a cent out of me!

(For the record the electricians – one of whom may or may not have been named Barry – were entire professional, and didn’t leave any mess to speak of. You’ve just got to exaggerate wildly and cast random aspersions if you want to channel old Victor).

Chinese Zookeepers Baffled by Perfectly Ordinary Cuscus

Cuscuscuscuscus

A furry orange-and brown spotted critter with protruding red eyes is baffling zookeepers in China after it was handed in to them by an anonymous man.

Zookeepers from the city of Wenling have not been able to identify the creature and now believe they may have stumbled across a new type of monkey or possum, Daily Mail reports.

It’s a freaking Cuscus! And they call themselves zoologists?!

Monster

Deeper and Down

REM have decided to break up, my dinner last night was tube pasta seasoned with the dust from the bottom of a parmesan cheese container, and I’ve been sent a bill for hundreds of dollars worth of electrical work that I’m fairly sure doesn’t exist (unless someone broke in and installed a smoke alarm where I can’t see it).

This is probably not going to be a good day…

Austerity

The new normal

Dinner last night – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches.

Breakfast this morning – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches.

Lunch today – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches, brought from home.

Money spent so far today – $5.20 on a muffin and Red Bull, all in 50c pieces culled from my strategic silver change reserve.

Further Austerity Measures under Consideration
– Is it feasible to bake bread with a mixture of normal flour, self raising flour, milk powder and bread crumbs?
– Is raw vegetable stock a viable source of nutrients?
– Do I really need to buy deodorant?

Good Thing They’re Free…

Put the cloves and Tom Collins mix in a bowl…

I’ve been teaching myself to use a couple of open source programs lately. Hugin for image stitching, and Scribus for desktop publishing.

Scribus is a pain. This is not because it’s a bad program, it’s because Desktop Publishing is a pain. You’ve got to worry about margins and gutters and fonts and all kinds of crazy stuff that gets automatically handled in a word processor. This is the price you pay for being able to do much cooler things layout and publishing-wise.

It’s a steep learning curve, but Scribus is proving to be really flexible. Once I get the hang of it I should be able to pump out professional looking PDFs from here to the wazoo, and actually launch that games publishing empire I’ve been planning for years…

(Yeah, let’s see if that happens… :))

Hugin is a lot of fun. Take a bunch of photos, load them into Hugin, and it stitches them all together. It can do a lot more than that of course, but I’m still just learning. You can check out some resulting gigantic panoramas of the semi-demolished Entertainment Centre in my Flickr stream.

On another subject it’s good that these programs are open source – and hence free – as after a triple hit from Council Rates, Strata Fees and Water Bills my bank balance is looking really ill. I’m having to go on a crash austerity drive for the next few weeks, which will no doubt result in more meals of bread crusts, pearled barley and soy sauce. But hey, it could be worse, at least I’m not eating pie crusts, cloves and Tom Collins Mix đŸ™‚

Ghosts and Grunts

Extraorrrrrrrdinary tales of the undead

Many years ago, when I was in primary school, there was a book in the school library that caused a bit of a stir. It was a collection of (allegedly) true Australian ghost stories.

I can’t recall much about the contents. It probably included all the usual suspects such as Frederici at the Princess Theatre and Fisher’s ghost. But there was one chapter that started up a whole load of trouble – one about a bunch of quite terrifying events alleged to have occurred to a bunch of kids on a school camp at the Old York Hospital.

This caused quite a ruckuss. It was all anyone would talk about. In creative writing class, all anyone would write were stories about ghosts and (for some reason) ninjas and kung-fu on school camping trips to the Old York Hospital. The situation got so bad that the year seven school camp was cancelled out of fear that the students would run off to go ghost hunting (or possibly ninja hunting). The fact that it was a fairly conservative Catholic primary school with a dim view of all things “occult” probably didn’t help matters either – I think the book eventually vanished from the shelves never to be seen again before the whole thing eventually died down.

It did however leave me with a lifelong curiosity about the old hospital, and when a photographer on Flickr got in touch with me this week about the old Castle Fun Park in Mandurah, and I noticed some photos of the hospital in her photostream, I decided to do some research about the story I remembered as a kid. And I found the motherload!

First up I located a lengthy article about the events at the old hospital by one Miriam Howard-Wright. The article was published in a magazine, but I strongly suspect that the book that caused such a stir so many years ago was written by her, with the article reworked into the notorious York chapter.

I also found a fantastic old documentary about Australian hauntings up on YouTube. Broadcast in the 1980s it very likely sparked the Old-York-Hospital mania I remember so well. The video transfer is a bit off, and it’s heavily infused with a rather 1970s “the paranormal is now a serious subject of scientific enquiry” vibe, but it’s still a damn good watch. One of the most entertaining aspects of it is actually the accents – the narrator appears to be English (presumably on the basis that no one could possibly take a documentary narrated by an Australian seriously) and there are a couple of examples of the old “refined” Australian accent which is now nearing extinction (such as the woman at the info centre in the Rocks). The sheer preponderance of cigarettes also shows how much the country’s changed in the last 30 years.

Finally I stumbled over another documentary, this one from 2001, about Australia’s “Most Haunted Town” (apparently Kapunda). It’s hosted by Warrick Moss, who made his mark in the field by hosting 90s paranormal infotainment classic The Extraorrrrdinary (you have to say it like that – it’s the way he did it). It’s nothing particularly ground-breaking, but gets my vote for the second half, which consists almost wholly of shaky-cam, infra-red footage of Moss stumbling around in the dark, grunting (and swearing). Now that’s entertainment!

One of these days I’ll make it to York…

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