Purple Wyrm – Page 87

Bound for Glory

Oh, he’s Angry…

So, Angry Anderson has joined the National Party, and is (apparently) standing for election on the platform that climate change is a fraud, cooked up by the United Nations to bring about One World Government and usher in the New World Order.

Who gave that man an internet connection!? 🙂

But seriously, what does this say about the Nationals? That they’re willing to accept a bit of crazy, conspiracist bullshit if it’ll net them the “star power” of an ageing rocker? Or that high ups in the party actually believe said crazy, conspiracist bullshit?

Neither is really a good look.

The Slap

I’ll give *you* a slap!

The ABC is going on and on and on about it’s ‘brilliant’ new drama The Slap.

The media are going on and on and on about the ABC’s ‘brilliant’ new drama The Slap.

As far as I can tell the ABC’s ‘brilliant’ new drama (The Slap) consists of…

1) Person slaps child….
2) Everyone gets angsty about it.

Call me autistic but that sounds like the most batshit boring eight hours of television ever envisaged by man.

And what’s all this about La Paglia the Younger being an unknown? He was the star of 7 Days you ignorant savages! Just because you have no interest in giant blue time-travel spheres and oddly cold-war influenced pro-American storylines doesn’t make the guy an unknown!

Sheeze!

R.I.P Steve

Well Done.

Well, my flippant comments comparing Steve Jobs to the Immortal God Emperor of Mankind yesterday turned out to be rather ill timed. John Allison vs Michael Jackson ill timed.

Really, we all knew that it was coming, but it’s still a damned shame. I hope at least he heard that Microsoft has finally given up on the Zune before he went.

Well done Steve. We’ll miss you.

Well, how else do you explain the reality distortion field?

Every day thousands of Apple Fanboys are sacrificed to keep iTunes running…

The real reason Steve Jobs retired? He had to ascend to the Golden Throne to sustain the iCloud servers.

(He also powers the Applenomican – the psychic beacon that enables geolocation on all iPhones…)

Later: Oh wow. Bad timing on this post…

They’re Watching Meeeee!!

You make me walk like a camel!

When everyone else in the office visits Dilbert, they get ads for BankWest. I get want ads from the DSD. Hmmmm.

In other news, I’ve been indulging my fondness for Psychobilly lately. There’s something about wild-eyed maniacs screeching nonsensical lyrics over distorted, old-fashioned rock-n-roll/surf-rock baselines that really speaks to me on a fundamental level.

I mean, how good is this?

Good times man! Good times!

That One Day in October

Carn the… oh who cares.

Today is that One Day in September (although this year it’s actually in October), the AFL Grand Final!

Yawn

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the sporting type. Either in the sense of participating, or watching. Sport is BORING!! And POINTLESS!! But it’s hard not to get a little bit caught up the hype surrounding the Grand Final each year – insomuch as I’m usually aware of who’s playing, and have a vague preference for one team or other.

This year? Not so much.

It’s the Cats versus the ‘Pies – or more properly Geelong vs Collingwood. Now I have a long standing animosity towards the Cats, which you’d think means I’d support the Magpies, but as everyone knows Collingwood are a bunch of jerks, led by head jerk Eddie McGuire, so there’s really nothing to separate them.

Collingwood wins? Yeah great. Geelong wins? Whatever. I really don’t care. I have better things to do with my time, like watching humorous cat videos.

Terrible

William Winsbury took 40 gold bars. He took 40 gold bars. That’s as many as four tens. And that’s terrible.

Luftkissenfahrzeugversicherung!

Eidechsen und Seeschlangen

My good friend Rebecca is learning German. Hence the following email exchange today…

Sprechen du Deutsch? Was ist Ihre Meinung von der örtlichen Fußballmannschaft? Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale!

Ja, spreche bitte Deutsch, mein Deutsch nicht so gut. Mein Meinung ist schrecklich, der ist kicken sie katzen. So, das ihr Luftkissenfahrzeugversicherung abdeckung Aalen?

Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug Versicherung deckt nur Eidechsen und Seeschlangen.

So, nicht so umfassend.

Der Aal Versicherung benötigt eine zusätzliche 30 Euro im Monat. Ich vermute, meine Versicherung gegen Fisch ist voreingenommen…

Achzo, Fisch Vorurteil ist sehr häufig.

Ich habe gehört, dass. Leider habe ich nicht der Ansicht, die Vorliebe von Aalen für unkonventionelle Fahrzeuge bei der Auswahl meiner Versicherung, weil ich nur mit meinem Hovercraft zu Lande bestimmt. Ich hätte nicht gedacht, sie würden die Migration aus dem Wasser, um es zu suchen. Jetzt muss ich Mitarbeiter ein Aal-Entfernungs-Dienstes.

(Disclaimer: I do not speak German, I just use a lot of Google Translate ;))

Postcards from the Edge

The past is a foreign country. They wear funny hats and eat all kinds’a weird crap there.

I give you Perth – 1954 style!

Pros – Decent public transport, lots of beautiful buildings, plentiful rain and a boundless sense of optimism.

Cons – Did you see a single non-Anglo-Saxon in that video? Because I sure didn’t…

Never Mind

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.

So, it’s 20 years today since the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind.

Nirvana were a good band and all, but please try and remember that the Pixies did everything that Nirvana did first, and with lyrics about sea monkeys.