Day of the Lepus

I’ve started doing some serious planning for my trip to the east early next year – figuring out what I’m going to see and when I’m going to see it and so forth. As I’m a 21st century digital boy this has included a lot of poking around on Google Earth, and in doing so I’ve stumbled over something somewhat entertaining.

Have a look at this street on Middle Head. A typical suburban scene you might think, but what’s that by the fence on the left? Maybe if we move in closer…

Ha! There it goes!

Right into the bushes!

As I said, entertaining 🙂

That’s all I’ve got to say.

The Worldwide Leman Russ Bitz Shortage

Someone doesn’t want me having a Eradicator…

So, a while back I placed an order on eBay for some Warhammer 40k bitz – including two Leman Russ turrets – from a seller that I’ve dealt with many times before without problems.

My order arrived a few weeks later – minus one of the turrets.

I emailed the seller politely asking where the second turret was, and they apologised profusely, saying they’d send it immediately.

Not long after the first order I placed an order with another seller (again whom with I’ve happily dealt in the past) that included a Leman Russ Nova Cannon. My order arrived a few weeks later, sans cannon.

I emailed the seller to point this out, and they apologised profusely, immediately refunding the cost of the cannon.

Today a parcel arrived from the first seller. It contained five 40mm bases that I never ordered, and no Leman Russ turret.

Call me paranoid but this is getting suspicious…

11/11/11

It occurred to me late last night that Plastic Bertrand’s Ca Plane Pour Moi and Sigue Sigue Sputnik’s Love Missile F1-11 share the same beat and chord progression (or at least the same something, I’m no musician…). This means that you could make an awesome mashup!

Think about it!

US bombs cruising overhead!
There’s goes my love rocket red!
Multi-millions still unfed!
Psycho maniac interbred!
(Wooo-oo-oo-ooo!)
Now shoot it up!

Shoot it up!
Shoot it up!
Shoot it up up up up up up!
Now shoot it up!
(Wooo-oo-oo-ooo!)
Shoot it up!

Yeah, I’ll shut up now 🙂

PS: Boo yah! Plain Packaging legislation has passed. Take that Tobacco industry!

I was an 11 Year Old Idiot

Hundreds of people were killed and many more are dying of cancer.

Insightful analysis of the Cherbonal Disaster...
Insightful analysis of the Cherbonal Disaster...

Back in 1986 it was my primary school’s 50th anniversary.  To celebrate this event, all the students wrote an essay to be placed in a time capsule to be opened on the 75th anniversary.

Which was last Sunday.

So, I got to read a letter from my 11 year old self – turns out, I was an idiot! ;D

TIME CAPSULE 1986

Hi, my name is [REDACTED]. Im 11 years old and I have blond hair lots of frecles big feet. Im the 3rd smallest in the class (Belinda [unreadable] the smallest) and I collect stamps, soft toys, chip bukets, rocks and budgie feathers I have 4 pets two fish one bird and a dog.

This year is the Internationale Year of Peace (1 singn for the international year of peace) And Pope John Paul the second is coming to Pperth. Hes having a big mass on the thirtyieth of november, Im going.

Earlier this year we could see Hallys comet and at 1oclock in the morning we got up to see it (0100 Hours on the 24 hour clock) it looks like picture two.

This year the space shuttle columbia blew up (3) and so did the cherbonal nuclear reactor (4). Hundreds of people were killed and many more are dying of cancer.

Humanoids!
Humanoids!

I think In 2011 I think (in School) everyone will have a computer and the teachers will be humanoids. You do all your work on your a computer and it gets printed out on the printer. For sport you turn your computer to remot control and move the ball by it. Everyone has a chemistry set and constant chemical supplies and you can learn how to make a micro chip.

flife would be fun.

What’d I tell you? An idiot. Although at least I was correct about the teachers being humanoids 😀

The various numbers were supposed to reference a sheet full of hand drawn pictures, but I ruined my first try and didn’t get a new one done in time. That’s always kind of weighed on my mind – perhaps I should draw one now and take it up to the school as a replacement…

Inevitable

Oh no, not again...
Oh no, not again...

If you play Warhammer 40k, it’s inevitable that sooner or later Games Workshop will completely screw you over.

In my case this happened a few months back. I’d figured out a strategy that I reckoned would – if not actually defeat Fabes and his Spess Mehreens at least give them a run for their money. I even spent some money purchasing models to do it all proper and official like. Then Games Workshop changed the rules and invalidated the entire thing.

Dang.

(I’m not going to say what the strategy was as I’m sure Fabes would be interested in playing a game using it just to see what would have happened…)

And this month Games Workshop have done it again with the release of the new Necrons Codex.

Of course they haven’t screwed me over games-wise – I’m an IG Treadhead not a Necronphile. They’ve instead completely offended my stylistic sensibilities by changing the Necrons from a ruthless, emotionless killing machine serving the omnicidal agenda of millenia-dead star gods into a bunch of bickering empire builders who no longer want to harvest the galaxy, just rule it with a living-metal fist. The latest White Dwarf even features a conversation between a couple of Necrons. A fething conversation!

And the C’Tan! Now it turns out that the Necrons overthrew the C’Tan and split them into “shards”. Shards? What pantheon are we talking about here?

The Necrons used to represent an important aspect of the grimdarkness of the 40k universe – make deals with things more powerful that yourself and you’ll lose everything. Now you can apparently make deals with things more powerful than yourself, overthrow them, and walk away with cool metal bodies covered in bling. That’s not 40k. That’s not even close to 40k. But I suppose it does mean Games Workshop can sell a bunch more cool looking models, which is the main thing*.

Oh well, time to invoke the MST3K mantra….

* Yes, of course selling models is the main thing, it’s always been the main thing, and if Games Workshop wants to alter their IP to sell more models they’re perfectly within their rights to do so. It just hurts to have it shoved so obviously in our faces, that’s all.

A Typical Day at the Office

Email from Client: I add da product an it no in da pending! Help me!*

My Reply: Just to make sure I’ve got this straight – you added a product using the the new interface, but it  became active immediately rather than going into the pending category? Correct?

Client’s Reply: I no see product not anywhere!

Reply I would have liked to send: I asked you a damn question!! If you don’t answer it I can’t fix your petty little problem!

What I actually did: Spent twenty minutes investigating the database and determining that the product had been added using the old interface, and the client skipped a step, despite being given clear, numbered instructions only yesterday.

Sheeze!

* The client’s emails were actually written in reasonable English, I just edited them to cave man to give an idea of how uninformative and useless they were.

My Dark Mistress

That sweet, syrupy taste.

Good Lord! This is the Wyrmlog’s 1000th post!
Cecil! Get the champagne!

It came to my attention over the weekend that I appear to have addicted myself to Coke Zero.

Yes, laugh if you must. Make comments about how I’m completely exaggerating my situation and how what I actually mean is that I just like the stuff, and I’m being dramatic. But no. I’m dead serious. I think I’ve become an addict.

You see, the thing that you’re probably forgetting is that Coke Zero contains caffeine, and caffeine is a dependency forming stimulant. If I wanted to be more scientifically accurate I should probably say that I’ve become a caffeine addict, but the thing about caffeine addiction is that the addict develops a psychological association between the high from the caffeine and the delivery method. The addict doesn’t actually crave caffeine, they crave whatever it is that contains the caffeine.

In my case, Coke Zero.

I’ve never consumed that much caffeine. When I get to work in the morning I grab a caffeine containing drink to give me a boost and help me face the horrors of eight hours of PHP coding and fielding phone calls from idiots who wouldn’t know an SMTP server if it bit them in the rear. Historically I’ve consumed sugar-free Red Bull, but the supply of it at the eccentric supermarket over the road has been erratic for the last year or so, so I’ve been substituting Coke Zero instead. And I’ve developed quite a taste for it.

But there’s a difference between having a taste for something, and being addicted. So what was the moment I knew I had a problem? On Saturday afternoon I was sitting at my computer and feeling thirsty. “Hmmm” I thought, “A Coke Zero would be really nice about now” so I got up, went out, walked over to the shops and bought a two litre bottle, carried it home and had a drink. Then I felt like another drink… Half an hour later the bottle was empty, and I still felt like a Coke Zero. Derp.

Following on from this revelation I’ve been looking back over the last few months and realised that I’ve been preferentially selecting Coke Zero when other, healthier drinks are available. I’ve also been drinking it in the evenings when I know I should avoid caffeine in order to have a decent night’s sleep. Whoops.

So, what am I going to do about this? Not a great deal. Caffeine is a pretty harmless drug, I mean it’s not like I’m hooked on heroin or something. I’m going to source a decent supply of sugar-free Red Bull to break the cycle, not drink caffeine on the weekends unless I’m doing something really active, and not drink it at all after 4:00pm. That should see me straight.

Probably 🙂

A Challenge Unmatched

Apparently there’s some horse race or something on today? I dunno.

Anyway, as none of my noble readers have been able to solve the conundrum I posted last week, I thought I’d post up the solution. I’m keeping the donkey for myself! So, the original text, untranslated to modern English…

I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculties! In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

It’s Shakespeare! Hamlet to be precise, one of the most famous soliloquies from that most famous of plays. Really, your classical educations are shocking 😉

Salvation’s Reach

Yeah, what the hell is going on with Yoncy?

It’s Halloween! Boo! Hooray! Boo! Hooray! Call me when you’re finished…

In addition to all the other exciting things that I did over the weekend I also picked up a copy of the latest Gaunt’s Ghosts novel, Salvation’s Reach. Since I’ve got nothing else to blog about right now I figured I’d share my thoughts about it in a sort of review (what? I bought it on Saturday, do you honestly think I wouldn’t have finished it by Monday? ;))

I’ll do my best to keep spoilers to a minimum, but caveat lector.

Well, first up, it’s a Gaunt’s Ghosts novel, which means I’m pretty much guaranteed to like it. As long as it’s by Dan Abnett and it involves vaguely-Celtic Ninja-Commandos firing off lasguns in people’s faces while making the occasional wisecrack, I’m a happy man. However there were a few things about Salvation’s Reach that meant I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as some others in the series.

The first is that we’re introduced to a lot of new characters. The Tanith First is finally getting reinforcements and that means a whole lot of new blood into the regiment (including of all things a… nah, I’ll leave you to read it yourself ;)). On top of that there’s new Commissars and an unexpected arrival from the past. This is well and good, but having introduced all these new people not a lot is done with them. The actual action focuses on the tried and true characters from the other books, which (while I certainly have no objection) leaves the book feeling unfinished. Like it’s Salvation’s Reach Part One rather than a book in its own right. I have no doubt that the newcomers will get their days in the sun in future novels, but it almost feels like Dan bought all these extras on board and then couldn’t think what to do with them.

Another problem for me was that unexpected arrival from the past. The whole thing feels like a cliche. To his credit Dan hasn’t used the character for cliched things, but having them there feels kind of trite – as if he’s running out of ideas so went with a really obvious one. And accelerated aging? Deux Ex Machina anyone? But hey, nothing heinous storywise has happened with the character yet, so we’ll just have to see how the series continues.

But enough about my nit-picking. What’s good about the book you ask? Two words. SPESS MEHREENS!!

Yes, the Astartes make their first on-screen appearance in Gaunt’s Ghosts (or at least the first I can remember, which is all that counts). I haven’t read any of Dan’s work with Space Marines before, but I really like what he’s done with them. Seen from the perspective of the Imperial Guard the Space Marines assigned to the mission are intimidating, frightening, and just alien. The way they talk, the way they behave and the way they think is so different that you get much more sense of just how changed a Space Marine is from an unaltered human. The Ghosts – who in the past have exchanged jibes with Chaos Magisters and taken out corrupted Dreadnoughts using only lasguns and cacti (seriously, Sound and Fury, look it up) are scared to even approach them. They’re the godlike sons of the Emperor, and they really seem like it.

There’s nothing wildly special about the plot, but it gets the job done. The MkRedshirts are present and accounted for (any newly introduced Ghost with a name starting with “Mk” will be dead within four pages – I guarantee it), there’s action, explosions, gunfights and heroic sacrifices. Shoggy Domor (one of my favourite second stringers) even gets some lines. All the ingredients are there for a good, action-packed read. Including, of course, character deaths.

That’s the big thing in any Ghosts novel of course, who (if anyone) dies? (well apart from MkTan, MkKonnor, MkMapp, MkSal, MkGillikudie…). Well, brace yourself, there are two character deaths in this one. One expected, one out of the blue. They’re both pretty heroic and Dan grants the unexpected character some closure before they go, which is good to see since they were another of my favourites. Some nice last words too, sticking the middle finger up at the enemies of the Emperor in true Ghosts fashion. Good, albiet sad, deaths.

Finally, there’s a throwaway reference to a mystery that’s been hanging around since Necropolis. It’s a small thing, such a small thing that I wondered if it was a typo in my copy, so I can’t tell if Dan’s preparing to drop a second shoe that’s been hanging since the Ghosts were at Vervunhive, or if he’s just having a laugh at something the editors missed. He doesn’t do anything with it in this book, but I’m intrigued as to what the next novel will bring.

So, that’s it. Salvation’s Reach. More of a His Last Command than a Necropolis, but still a bloody good read. Bring on the next one Dan! 😉

(PS: Also meant to say that someone obviously handed Dan a Forgeworld catalogue. The story is littered with Forgeworld spacecraft, Forgeworld vehicles, and Forgeworld Spess Mehreen boarding armour. Get a hold of your own copy and tick them off as they come! :))

(PPS: Oh yeah, there’s also a third character death, but it’s a minor character who probably had it coming. So there.)

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