Dungeons and Dragons – Necropolis

Over the last few years the plot for a grand Dungeons and Dragons campaign has slowly assembled itself in my head. For various reasons it is unlikely that I’ll ever be able to run it as an actual game, so I thought I’d make it available for anyone who’s looking for something new and perhaps different to inflict on their playing group. Below, please find part one of the campaign sketch that I have decided to name ‘Necropolis’.

Over a thousand years ago the wise and powerful cleric Angevin passed away after a long life tending to the sick and destitute. His loyal disciples constructed a temple and small monastery around his grave, which over the years became a site of pilgrimage, attracting penitents and miracle seekers from across the known world. Many sick and elderly visitors sought nothing more than to be buried near the tomb of the blessed Angevin, and a cemetery grew up, tended by the brothers and sisters of the monastery, which grew rich and powerful on the bequests of the interred.

Over the centuries the burial ground grew larger and larger, and a town grew up to service the cemetery and its visitors. The great and powerful now sought to be buried there, with towering monuments and mausoleums rising above the simpler headstones. Catacombs and ossuries were dug into the hillsides, water courses were diverted to create streams and lakes, and gardens and shaded avenues were laid out among the tombs, creating a sculpted and manicured landscape to soothe the cares of the grief stricken mourners who now accompanied the bodies of their loved ones on the long trip to their final resting place.

Now the great cemetery covers over 5,000 acres, surrounded by miles of high marble walls. The burial ground and its attendant city – full of shrines, temples, inns and taverns to cater for the many visitors – are united under the name of Necropolis. Governed by a council made up of both businessmen and clerics it is a wonder of the world, and even the poorest beggar dreams of one day going to their rest among the heroes and saints that consecrate its soil.

But, all is not well in the city of Necropolis. The Council has so far kept matters quiet, but rumors are starting to circulate that a dark force has infiltrated the formerly sacred avenues and groves of Angevin’s resting place. The people of the city are loath to enter the cemetery alone, and all but the bravest (or most foolish) will not set foot within its bounds once the shadows begin to lengthen. As the rumors spread, visitors are starting to question whether a grave at Necropolis is such a prize after all, and the Council – for reasons both sacred and profane – has decided that action must be taken.

So it is that the word has gone out – discretely – that experienced adventurers looking to make a profit in both this world and the next should apply at the Monastery of Angevin before the next full moon…

Coming Soon – What’s going on, and what the Council want the Players to do about it!

The Day of the Doctor

Now that I’ve had a couple of hours’ sleep I’d just like to reiterate just how much I enjoyed The Day of the Doctor

I have no doubt the internet will be alight with people moaning about how Steven Moffet has ruined everything and should be put up against a wall and exterminated, but I thought he did a fantastic job. The plot made sense (more than can be said for some of his efforts), the interaction between the three Doctors was spot on, Billie Piper looks like she’s had a decent meal since her last appearance, there was a throwaway line referencing the UNIT dating controversy, the cameo from Peter Capaldi was perfect, and the ‘Curator’ – well, normally silliness like that would be totally out order, but, c’mon, it was wonderful!

And the setup at the very end! I hope like hell that’s going to be the story arc for the next season, not just something they deal with in the Christmas Special.

Finally if you’re a fan of the classic series and have half an hour to spare, The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot is well worth a watch. Not only is it fun, it features literally dozens of cameos. You can poke around online to find the full thing, but here’s the trailer…

On with tonight’s repeat, and An Adventure in Time and Space

Musical Tuesday – You’re a Lion!

Back in the 1920’s a black South African man named Solomon Linda wrote a song. You know it. Everyone knows it. But you probably don’t know it by the name Linda gave it. He called it Mbube, Zulu for “The Lion” and the version he recorded with his band the Evening Birds in 1939 went like this…

Recognise it now?

Mbube went through a variety of mutations. America folk singer Pete Seeger turned it into song called Wimoweh and recorded it in 1952 with the Weavers. Popular and covered by many artists throughout the 50’s it was rewritten by one George David Weiss (co-writer of Elvis’s I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You) who added some mediocre lyrics about lions, retitled it, and gave it to Doo-Wop group the Tokens who released it as a B-Side in 1962.

You can probably guess the rest. The Lion Sleeps Tonight went on to become one of the most recorded songs in human history.

But what of Solomon Linda? He was paid a token fee of about 87 cents for the recording back in 1939. That was it. The success of the record made him a star in South Africa, but when he died in 1962 he had only $22 to his name, and his widow couldn’t even afford a gravestone for him.

Happily, things eventually worked out alright. In 2004 his family sued Disney – who were making millions from featuring the song in The Lion King – and a settlement was reached wherein the Linda family is now receiving the royalties they deserve. The lawsuit and settlement were prompted in no small part by the remarkable and evocative article In the Jungle by Rian Malan, published in Rolling Stone in 2000 and well worth a read if you’ve got an hour or so to spare.

My second track this week is for another descendant of Solomon Linda’s tune. Composed by German band leader Bert Kaempfert in 1962 (that year keeps coming up…) it’s titled A Swingin’ Safari and despite it’s campy 1950s-ness it has a place in my heart because my dad used to play it when I was a kid. So, enjoy!

Musical Tuesday – A Song for Europe

Well, today was the Melbourne Cup, the horse race that both proverbially and allegedly stops a nation. Woohoo.

I’ve never really been a fan of the Cup. I’m a contrarian by nature – if someone tells me that everyone does something I’ll tend not to do it, specifically to be a counter-example – so I’ve always reacted to being told that the Cup stops a nation by saying “Well it doesn’t stop me!” and ignoring it. I’m also not big on horse racing because of the animal welfare issues. I’m not a member of PETA or anything, and I eat plenty of meat, but racing somehow seems to be pushing our treatment of animals a bit far. I’ve also got a streak of puritanism deep in my soul, which pops up at unexpected moments to condemn things like gambling as wicked – so Melbourne Cup day has never held much attraction for me.

Of course working in an office environment makes such iconoclasm difficult, and heading off to a pub to watch the race at least provided a free lunch and 90 minutes or so of not-working. So I went along with it. I was also talked into placing a $2 bet, which I put down on Red Cadeux – the horse suggested by Diesel the Psychic Echidna, mostly just for a laugh.

As anyone who gives a crap about the race would know, Red Cadeux came in second, so I ended up winning $10. Not bad at all for advice from a monotreme, not bad at all.

Anyway, in honour of the event what song could I choose for today but My Lovely Horse from classic comedy series Father Ted?

For those unfamiliar with the show (have you been living under a rock for the last twenty years?) it follows the chaotic lives of a trio of notably unholy Catholic Priests exiled to a small island off the coast of Ireland – the venal Father Ted, the idiotic Father Dougal and the frankly diabolical Father Jack. In the episode A Song for Europe Ted and Dougal decide to enter the Eurosong music contest (an extremely  thinly veiled parody of Eurovision) and come up with a ridiculous dirge about ‘a lovely horse’. They later improve it by stealing a tune from another song, but end up representing Ireland in Eurosong with the original because the country is desperate to lose and avoid the cost of hosting it again next year.

In real life the song was written by Neil Hannon from the Divine Comedy, and the band actually released it as B-Side in 1999.

In any case, here is the song as presented in the episode (the seemingly random inclusion of swimming sequences and ping pong is because it’s a parody of the video for That’s What Friends Are For by the Swarbriggs).

They really need to lose that sax solo…

My second pick sticks to the Eurosong theme with the song Wolves of the Sea, which was Latvia’s Eurovision entry in 2008. But I’m not going to make you listen to the campy Latvian version, instead I’m presenting the cover by Scottish pirate-metal band Alestorm, which was released in 2009 (yes, pirate-metal is a thing).

I first heard this track in the Morley branch of Games Workshop and was rather surprised to say the least. But not as surprised as some commenter on YouTube who seem to be unable to grasp the purpose of the steel drum break in the middle. I mean, is it really that hard to figure out what they’re referencing? Really?

Anyway, that’s enough for now. The prawns I had at lunch seem to be disagreeing with me, and I’m taking an early night.

Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo

Jackpot! Finally got a submission read on The Shaft. It just would have been nice if they’d been sober enough to credit me ;D

For those interested, Episode 155 at 43 minutes and 48 minutes.

And here is the song that made my entry weird enough to get past the great filter that is Astragali (he still vets the submissions, right?)

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