Beneath the Opera House…
Month: March 2024
Blowing Smoke
Possibly the dumbest thing I believe is that I could beat nicotine addiction.
Deep in my soul I KNOW that I could start smoking, keep it up for a few months, then simply quit cold turkey with no problems apart from feeling a bit crap for a few days.
Thankfully I am far too smart to actually put this to the test.
Mnemonics
Working on the weak spots in my world geography and coming up with mnemonics to help…
“My sad god gave back gold so little lads could definitely go to bed”
West African coastal nations from north to south – Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea Bissau, Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Togo, Benin.
“My bad god has eight nasty, crusty penises”
Central American nations from north to south – Mexico, Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama.
The Caribbean is up next – hopefully I can avoid even more blasphemy đ
Newport
He thought he saw a Viking tower,
Erected on a hill,
He looked again and saw that it,
Was Benedict Arnold’s mill,
“I won’t claim it’s Chinese” he said,
“But Gavin Menzies will!”
Nectar of Mammoth
I never thought I’d have to add “wild mammoths” to the spam filter…
Did you know our ancestors enjoyed normal pressure? Thatâs right. They chased wild mammoths and lived in caves. But they had healthy hearts and had no strokes. And modern scientists from the University of Virginia just discovered why. Itâs all because they had a âsignaling moleculeâ in their tiny kidney cells that we donât have. But the good news is â thereâs an easy way to restore your kidneysâ âsignaling moleculeâ by using something called âNectar of Godsâ. Thatâs because the ânectar of godsâ is proven by modern science to help get your blood pressure normal again. â Nectar of Gods restores normal blood pressure
I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues
Man there’s not a week goes by, not a week, that I don’t hear about a dingo attack on K’gari involving some bastard tourist that could have been easily avoided had some parent – I don’t care which one – but some parent conditioned them to fear and respect those dingoes!
Correcting the Record
Willie, Willie, Harry, Mattie,
Stephen, Harry, Harry Bratty,
Dick, John, Louis, Harry three,
One two three Neds, Now let’s see,
Richard two, Harrys four five six,
Edwards four five, Nasty Dick,
Harry VII, Harry VIII,
Ned the sixth who turned up late,
Lady Jane Grey, Philip and Mary,
Bessie, James and Charles contrary,
Ollie, Ricky, Charles restored,
James the second (most abhorred),
Will and Mary, Anna Gloria,
Georges (Four), Will Four, Victoria
Edward, George, then Nazi Ted,
So George the sixth stepped in instead,
Elizabeth, her reign unanswered,
Now Charlie III who has the cancers,
CERVEZA CRISTAL!!
It’s absolutely wild to me that the best meme of 2024 so far was created by a Chilean TV station not wanting to interrupt Star Wars with ad breaks back in 2004.
