Peter: Well, it’s been almost a year now and it looks like Jesus isn’t coming back any time soon, so I guess I’m in charge?
Paul: I think you’ll find I’m the one in charge!
Peter: Who are you!?
Phillip: He’s that Saul bastard who’s been…
Paul: I’m Paul, and Jesus put me in charge!
Peter: When?!
Paul: Last week.
Peter: Last week!? Our Lord has been gone for months!
Paul: He appeared to me in a vision on the road to Damascus.
Peter: A vision? Seriously? And what did this ‘vision’ say to you?
Paul: That I was in charge.
Paul: And also that you were a bitch.
Peter: Why you..!
John of Patmos: I saw Jesus too!
Peter: What…?
Paul: Who…?
John of Patmos: He was a lamb! And he had horns! And eyes – lots of eyes! And swords for teeth! And there was a dragon with seven heads and more horns! And there were living creatures! And four guys on different coloured horses and a woman standing on the moon and a harlot and then everyone had to run and hide in caves because all the water was poison and there were grasshoppers with human heads and a mountain fell out of the sky and the sky went away and there were angels blowing horns and did I mention the grasshoppers because they had human heads and scorpion tails and all the stars fell down and…
