Overheard down at the book store the other day…
Teenage Girl: Oh! Its the new Twilight book!
Mother (resignedly): There’s another one?
Month: February 2016
Can God Fill Teeth?
Six months back – about a week after I had a checkup with the dentist – one of my teeth really started to hurt. I went back, and – after sending me off to an expensive specialist – the conclusion was reached that the tooth had a crack in it and would need a crown. In the meantime the specialist patched it up with metal strips and resin and all kinds of funky stuff so bulky that I spent an hour or so in front of the bathroom mirror filing it down so it didn’t make me feel like a walnut was stuck in my gums.
Last week a big chunk of resin fell off it and this morning a long piece of wire unspooled from the side while I was brushing. This is not a major disaster as I have a dental checkup scheduled for this Friday at which I’m sure they’ll be able to patch it up, but while I was trimming the wire with a pair of scissors I couldn’t help but recall Lard’s absolutely insane track about supernormal dental happenings and self surgery Can God Fill Teeth?
Enjoy!
St Ives
As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
He asked me “Do you have time to discuss the Lord Jesus Christ?”
In the heat of the day
When you’re sitting in a room that’s just slightly too warm for comfort, the temperature outside is in excess of 40°C and you’re a bit sleep deprived because last night was too hot, there’s just something about the hollow synth drums, the rumbling base, the jangly echoing guitar, the shrieking choir and the disdainful muttering of Dominion by the Sisters of Mercy that takes you to another, strange aural place where it may not be any cooler but the heat seems more appropriate – even, in some fashion – epic.
Or maybe that’s just me…
Calling all Creeps
From the Sydney Morning Herald…
A self-styled pick-up artist who thinks rape should be legalised wants like-minded Sydney men to meet up and bond later this month.
A “neomasculinist” online group whose supporters believe rape should be legalised on private property and that women are biologically determined to follow the orders of men will meet for the first time in real life in Sydney on Saturday.
The meeting, at 8pm in Hyde Park in Sydney and at 43 other locations around the world, is organised by US-based “neomasculinist” and legal rape advocate, Daryush “Roosh” Valizadeh.
He has said women, transgender men and homosexual men were not invited.
I fully support this meeting! Getting all the vermin together in one spot will make it so much easier to exterminate them.
(Disclaimer: As we inhabit a fallen age where the ability to understand or even recognise instances of satire and hyperbole is a lost art I would like to clearly state that I in no way advocate or encourage the killing, injury or assault of Daryush Valizadeh or any of his disgusting little reptilian followers. No matter how satisfying such action would be.)
