Month: September 2015

State Tax Dodging Charges

Hi On Wednesday colleagues received public investigation order dispatched by Internal Revenue Rervice. Authorities are incriminating You tax evasion that is allegedly a serious crime and most probably would lead to grave consequences. Attached kindly see scanned copy of the official notice letter. Kindly review the enclosure carefully so that we could prepare objections later. According to our administratition advise the session with tax service authorities is to be approved today. Our consultants strictly advise You to prepare for upcoming hearing since severe accusations are brought to You. Upon getting Your instructions specialists will commence drafting needed form-sheets. Stacey Bernard Senior Accountant

I am astounded that someone could rise to the level of Senior Accountant with such terrible grammar skills. Let this be a warning children, numbers rot your brain!

The Alleged Confectionery

Against my better judgement I ate a doughnut from the much lauded Krispy Kreme today.

The dough tasted like medical waste, and the jam was like something extracted from a drum snuck out of chemical plant at three in the morning.

But here’s the weird thing. When eaten together the two horrible flavours cancelled each other out to the point where the alleged confectionery tasted not stomach-churning, but merely bland. Like sweetened, semi-congealed polyurethane wood glue. It was in fact quite edible – in the sense that you could chew it up and swallow it without any violent reactions from either taste-buds or gut.

I’d investigate this phenomena further, except that I have no desire to subject myself to anything from Krispy Kreme ever again.

Intimidated

For what it is, Skepta’s Shartdarn ain’t bad. It’s definitely got something. But get a load of the sample – taken from a caller to a British talkback radio show – at 1:50…

A bunch of YOUNG men, ALL dressed in black, dancing extremely aggressively on stage. It made me feel SO intimidated and it’s just NOT what I expect to see on prime time TV.

Seriously lady, if an image of people dancing on your TV makes you feel intimidated then you need to take a good hard look at your life.

It’s On!

Well, we’re all waiting with bated breath to see whether the utterly appalling Age of Tony will be ended by the people’s hero Malcolm Turnbull. Who – if he succeeds – will more than likely turn out to be just as bad. But hey! At least it’ll be a different kind of horror!

Of course, if Malcolm does get in it means the Liberals will have a chance to hang on to power at the next election. But maybe with him at the helm a continued Liberal government won’t be so bad. Alternatively, the fact that he (supposedly) disagrees with so many Liberal policies may just sow massive discord within the party and render them un-electable. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, and in the meantime enjoy the Schadenfreude!

EDIT: I have been waiting two years to post this!

Goodbye Tony! You won’t be missed!

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