50 Years!

Here’s to another 50!

In a sane world today would a day of global celebration. Parades, parties, fireworks and balloons. But instead it’s just another ordinary weekday for the ordinary, dull, citizens of this dirtball who daren’t look up and see the stars but belch instead…

Fifty years ago today, for the first time in our species’ two million year existence, one of us left our home planet. That’s amazing – yet the majority are content to sit around on their arses trading opinions on how we never went to the moon, the space program was a hoax, and aliens are abducting people and sticking probes up their nethers.

Well I’m celebrating damnit! Happy Yuri’s Night to you all!

Saint Anger

Hahahahah! Eat me Lars!

Saint Anger was the angriest of all the Saints,
Much angrier than Saint Francis of Assisi,
Or Saint Cuthbert the Kind,
Saint Anger used to steal the other Saints’ Bibles,
And punch little children in the face,
And when they cried he didn’t mind…

I didn’t write that. It’s from a song called Saint Anger which predates Metallica’s rather dismal work of the same name by several decades. The thing is, I only know that much of it and have no idea who sang it, and it doesn’t seem to exist on the internet at all. So I’m putting it here, lest the tale of Saint Anger vanish completely from the world.

Well let’s keep going anyway

Right, I’m done.

I suppose I might as well try for the rest of the picture….

120 Lursa Duras
121 B’Etor Duras
130 Cadet Weenus (uh, Wesley)
131 Robin Lefler
136 Soran
137 Borg Queen
138 Zefram Cochrane
139 Lilly Sloane

142 Shinzon
143 Ben Sisko
144 Jake Sisko
145 Odo
146 Kira Nerys
147 O’Brien (DS9)
148 Dr Bashir
149 Jadzia Dax
150 Elim Garak
152 Quark
153 Rom
154 Leeta
155 Nog
156 Morn
157 Ezri Dax (So Cute!)
158 Keiko O’Brien
159 Molly O’Brien
164 Gul Dukat
165 Worf (DS9)

169 Ben Sisko (beard version)
170 Kasidy Yates
171 Jake Sisko (older)
173 Cadet Nog
187 Captain Janeway
188 Tuvok

189 Chakotay
190 Tom Paris
191 Harry Kim
192 B’Elanna Torres
193 The Doctor
194 Neelix
195 Kes
196 Seven of Nine

212 Captain Archer
213 T’Pol
214 Trip Tucker
215 Hoshi Sato
216 Malcolm Reed
217 Travis Mayweather
218 Plox
219 Porthos

That’s the best I can do without spending far more time than it warrants 🙂

Crates

As if the rules aren’t complicated enough already…

I’m currently building a large terrain piece for Fabes’ and my Warhammer 40,000 games – an Adeptus Mechanicus/Imperial Navy hanger building. The plan is to have battles around the hanger, but also inside the hanger, which will include fights in the main hanger space, involving lots of action movie style firefights between rows of crates.

Now 40k has a pretty simple rule about cover – units in cover get a 4+ save. This is well and good, but misses some of the strategy and fun of fighting in a warehouse environment full of barrels, crates and explosive gas canisters. So, Fabes and I have come up with the following rules to make crate rich environments a bit more exciting…

CRATE TYPES
Crates can be divided into four types. Large Metal Crates, Large Wooden Crates, Small Crates, and Barrels/Cannisters/Ammo Boxes. Each piece of Crate terrain should be designated as one of these types.

CRATE COVER
The four types of Crates provide cover saves for models behind them as follows…

Large Metal            4+
Large Wooden       5+
Small or Barrel/Cannister/Ammo Box      6+

Cover for a barricade of crates is calculated by taking the highest cover save of all the crates in the structure. A barricade containing a Large Metal Crate for instance starts with 4+, while one with no Large Metal but Large Wooden starts at 5+. Every additional crate in the structure adds +1 to the save, to a maximum of 2+.

ATTACKING CRATES
A unit may elect to fire on a crate, or a barricade as if it is another unit. The Armour Values of crates are as follows…

Large Metal           8
Large Wooden      6
Small or Barrel/Cannister/Ammo Box      4

When firing on a barricade the attacker may designate which succesful hits impact on which crate (all hits must be allocated before resolving them).

RESOLVING HITS
When a crate is hit, roll 2d6 on the Crate Impact Table. Each type of crate gets a modifier for this table as follows…

Large Metal           0
Large Wooden    +2
Small                    +2
Ammo Box/Barrel/Canister  +4

Using a flamer, melta or plasma weapon gives an additional +1

CRATE IMPACT TABLE (2d6)

2,3,4,5 – No Effect
6,7,8,9 – If a large crate, replace with a small crate, otherwise no effect
10,11,12 – Destroyed

If a natural double 1 or double 6 is rolled, the crate explodes with a Strength of 3, an AP of 5 and the standard blast template.

So yeah, there we go. Have fun kids!

Five Lines

I had nothing better to do for a few hours…

Well, I’m no expert, but here’s my attempt at the first five lines (beyond that I recognise so few that it’s plain not worth it…)

1 Kirk
2 Spock
3 Bones
4 Uhura
5 Sulu
6 Chekov
7 Scotty
8 Yeoman Rand
9 Nurse Chapel
10 …Uh
11 …Some Dude
12 …Some Other Dude
13 Arex
14 M’Ress
15 Harry Mudd
16 Evil Mirror Kirk
17 Evil Mirror Spock
18 Gorn
19 T’Pau
20 Mugato!
21 Khan
22 Orion Slave Girl
23 …I recognise this guy but can’t name him…
24 …Richard Simmons?

25 …Klingon
26 …Another Klingon
27 …Yet another Klingon
28 … Another damn Klingon
29 Tribbles!
30 …nope
31 Captain Pike
32 Talosian
33 …No idea
34 Horta
35 Salt Vampire
36 …Sergeant Pepper?
37 Excalbian
38 Apollo
39 Nomad
40 Trelane
41 Balok Puppet
42 Balok
43 Kirk (Motion Picture)
44 Spock (Motion Picture)
45 Bones (Motion Picture)
46 Uhura (Motion Picture)

47 Sulu (Motion Picture)
48 Chekov (Motion Picture)
49 Scotty (Motion Picture)
50 Illia
51 Decker
52 Kirk (Wrath of Khan)
53 Spock (Wrath of Khan)
54 Bones (Wrath of Khan)
55 Uhura (Wrath of Khan)
56 Sulu (Wrath of Khan)
57 Chekov (Wrath of Khan)
58 Scotty (Wrath of Khan)
59 Saavik (Wrath of Khan)
60 …Some unknown dude
61 …Spock in a dress?
62 KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
63 Dr Carol Marcus
64 David Marcus
65 Klingon Monster Dog Thing (possibly a type of Targ)
66 Kruge
67 Sarek
68 Amanda Greyson
69 …Dunno
70 …Some Chick

71 Kirk (Voyage Home)
72 Spock (Voyage Home)
73 Bones (Voyage Home)
74 Uhura (Voyage Home)
75 Sulu (Voyage Home)
76 Chekov (Voyage Home)
77 Scotty (Voyage Home)
78 Admiral Cartwright
79 Federation President
80 Sybok
81 General Chang
82 Chancellor Gorkon
83 Valeris
84 …The Smoking Man?
85 …Random Klingon
86 …Bruce K Tedesco
87 …Daniel Flintstone
88 …Unknown
89 Jean Luc Picard
90 Data
91 Riker (God damn I hate that bastard…)
92 Worf
93 Dr Crusher

94 La Forge
95 Troi
96 Tasha Yar
97 Weenus (uh, I mean Wesley, of course…)
98 O’Brian
99 …Whatsisface
100 Ro Loren
101 Guinan
102 Q
103 Lore
104 Noonian Soong
105 Lwaxana Troi
106 Mr Hom
107 Alexander Son of Worf
108 K’Ehleyr
109 … Justin Bieber?
100 Dr Pulaski
111 …Short Chick
112 …Pale Dude
113 Dixon Hill
114 Locutus of Borg
115 Moriarty
116 Dr Watson (Geordi)
117 Sherlock Holmes (Data)
118 Spot

I’ma to stupid too think for maself!

Google is ruining everything!

I haven’t been posting much, or answering emails or anything lately because work has been hellish. It should calm down after today though. I hope.

On the subject of work we got a call this morning from a woman who’d placed an order on one of our affiliated florist websites. She was extremely upset as she’d placed the order for delivery on Sunday, but the confirmation email came back to her saying that it would be delivered on Monday (as the florist involved doesn’t deliver on Sundays).

After calming her down some we got the full story. She typed “perth florists that deliver on Sunday” (or something similar) into Google. Our site came up number one, so she put her order through – apparently missing the numerous large notices all over the bloody site saying that we don’t deliver on Sundays. The very notices that got the site ranked so high on Google for “deliver on Sundays”!

Apparently reading or even basic intelligence isn’t required for living any more – you just type your concerns into Google and throw money at the first site returned. Sheeze!!

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