You know, I swear that sooner or later I’m going to get back to writing actual posts, rather than just linking to amusing/stupid stuff I stumble across online. Sooner or later.
In the meantime I presume that everyone has seen Pig with the Face of a Boy’s magnificent retelling of the history of the Soviet Union via the metaphor (and music) of Tetris?
I will have to give serious thought to buying their album.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject of entertaining internet music, how about the Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie’s War of 1812. That chorus is so catchy! And humiliating to Americans! ;D
There’s so much going wrong in the world at the moment, but as long as a saxophone wielding maniac still has the freedom to randomly attack people with George Michael songs we’re probably doing OK.
Now that Charlie Sheen has gone completely mad and declared himself some kind of Vatican-sanctioned assassin-warlock the question arises of what to do with his bizarrely popular sitcom Two and a Half Men. The sensible option of course would be to spare us all and axe it, but while there are ratings to be had CBS will probably try and keep it going, either by writing Sheen’s character out, or by re-casting him Darrin-from-Bewitched style. There’s been talk of Rob Lowe taking over the role, but my workmate Daniel has come up with a much more interesting option…
Commission 10 more episodes to wrap the series up, then hire 10 high profile guest stars, each of which portray Sheen’s character in one episode! Genius!
They could get Rob Lowe for the first ep, then work their way through whatever luminaries they could get by dangling Sheen’s massive paycheque in front of them. Think of the possibilities! Nic Cage! Ice T! Robert Downey Junior! Rich Hall! Russell Brand! Emilio Estevez! Even (for a laugh) Jane Lynch! And then for the big finale that ends the series – William Shatner! It’d be the biggest television event in years – the ratings would soar!
This is something CBS simply must do. Let’s get the letter writing campaign started today!
How to annoy the Customs department and Cyberpunk fans
Long weekend! Hooray!
(Yes, I usually take every second Monday off, so I get plenty of long weekends, but this is one I get paid for :))
Been spending much of my spare time messing around with Warhammer 40k models – the sad, nerdy results can be seen in my Flickr Stream. The boards that Fabes and I have been building are starting to actually look good, and my force of Valhallan Imperial Guard now consists mostly of models rather than paper cut outs. Still a long way to go though – for one thing I’ll have to paint them all.
Here’s a thing – if you’re going to post gaming materials to Australia, do not put “Warhammer Parts” on the declaration form unless you want customs to open it up and make sure you’re not sending someone prohibited medieval weaponry đŸ˜€
Oh, and here’s another thing – a promotional video FASA made for their Cyberpunk/Fantasy fusion game Shadowrun back in 1990.
Problems…
No one ever moves like that in real life. If you want to be stealthy you move in discrete jumps from shadow to shadow or cover to cover. You don’t skip down street wagging your head back and forth like a caffeinated hamster.
When you’re making a movie your first budgetary consideration should be hiring actors who can actually act. Costumes, pink spotlights, hairspray and fog machines can come later.
If you come around a corner and spot a guard, what do you do?
a) Retreat back around the corner and discuss your options
b) Stand out in the open, right under a spotlight, and yell at each other.
(Hint – if you chose anything other than “a” you’re doing it wrong)
The whole video reeks of preaching to the converted. If you have no idea of what Shadowrun is, you would be left feeling confused (and annoyed). Where are the cybernetics? Where are the meta-humans? Why doesn’t that guy put on a goddamn shirt?
So, magic requires your shoulders to be exposed, and causes temporary paralysis. Good to know.
I know Netrunners (or whatever they’re called in Shadownrun, my pedigree is Cyberpunk 2020 after all) aren’t meant to be the muscle of the team, but those panels didn’t seem to require a muscle bound freak to open them.
Oo! It’s a cheap-ass TARDIS control room! And netrunning decks look just like chunky 1980’s keyboards. Retro cool!
If you don’t want the future to laugh at you, don’t blow your entire budget (and half your runtime) on computer graphics that are going to look ludicrous in five years time. And if you are going to whack in a bunch of computer graphics at least include some kind of narrative so people can tell that they’re part of the story and someone didn’t just tape over the movie with an MTV clip.
So, intrusion programs are designed by the Tall Man? Neat.
OK, that’s about all I’ve got to say. Go and make your own entertainment.
No time to write anything myself today, so I thought I’d share one of my favourite passages from Kehlog Albran…
A priest asked the Master, “What is fate?”
The Master answered:
It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.
It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.
“And that is fate?” said the priest.
“Fate… I thought you said Freight”, responded the Master.
“That’s all right” said the priest, “I wanted to know about Freight too.”
There endeth the lesson. Think on it. Think on it.
