Hopefully one of our largest clients didn’t notice that I just accidentally added a holiday location named “Snape’s Hotel of Butt Trumpetry” to their database.
Whoops
That doesn’t sound anything like my butt!
Month: September 2010
From the Archives
Theological rumblings from 1996
(From the far off days of 1996)
Art thou aware of ye great conspiracy? That god is in fact black? this startling fact was revealed to an awaiting humanity in 1500 AD but has been covered up by white church ministers ever since. Also revealed in the same interview was the meaning of life, the value of 1 divided by 0 and the awful truth behind the legend of the boogy man. The interview took place on July 5th 1500 in the small German town of Holzfaller. God descended in his custom built ’39 fuel injected with triple overhead cams pillar of fire and spoke with Martin Luther for about 10 minutes. The content of the interview was published, but was quickly destroyed by the church. Only a few partial copies survive. An extract of one of these follows.
ML: Now we’re speaking with God. Thanks for coming God.
G: It’s great to be here Martin.
ML: So what metaphysical truths do you have to reveal to our viewers today?
G: Well I thought I’d reveal the ultimate meaning of life.
ML: Well I’m sure our viewers will be interested in that, but before you do I’d like to take the opportunity to complement you on that suit.
G: Thanks Martin, I got it cheap at a little clothing store in Guatemala. It’s real Andean Wool you know.
ML: Really?
G: And the design is by Armani.
ML: Well, God sure is a sharp dresser. We’ll be back after these messages, when God will reveal the ultimate meaning of the universe.
The rest of the text was expurgated in 1605 by Dr John Dee, Court Astrologer to Queen Elizabeth the First. Some of it is rumoured to have been included in “As you like it” by Shakespeare, but this is doubtful.
A Played Out Picture Show
There’s nothing more boring than reading about other people’s dreams.
As is fairly normal when sleeping I had a dream last night. It was the usual incoherent mess that my dreams generally are, involving a 25th birthday party, cows, a storm, a magic book, people possessed by the spirits of ancient wizards and several episodes of Doctor Who. But it also featured a song.
In context of the dream it was by Sparklehorse, but on waking with it still in my memory it sounded a lot more like Everclear. I was able to remember one verse of it, which goes as follows…
Is it a forest in a wood? A burnt out bedroom mansion?
Is it a played out picture show? Is it a happy ending?
I have no idea what that could possibly mean, but it’s easily as good as anything Nik Kershaw ever wrote 😉
Beware of Coyotes
Off to the Gunner’s Crag
After an exhausting week at work I’ve been taking it easy this weekend. Annotating photos on Flickr, playing Fallout 3, avoiding any contact with the outside world, that kind of thing. I’m almost at the point where the idea of going in to the office tomorrow doesn’t fill me with a deep sense of dread, which is pretty good all things considered ;D
One thing I’ve been particularly enjoying for the last few weeks is Tom Siddell’s webcomic Gunnerkrigg Court. I stumbled into it via TV Tropes (Warning – Do not visit that site unless you have five or six hours to spare. It’s worse than Wikipedia…) and have been reading my way through. It’s pretty intriguing, essentially a prolonged mystery story about a very strange school full of robots, ghosts, gods, psychics and alchemical symbolism, but it’s very hard to pin down to any simple genre. And the art has gone from a bit shaky at the beginning to excellent quality in the present.
One of the things I find so fascinating about it is it takes some themes that I thought of many years back, and tried unsuccessfully to work up into a story, and runs with them in a way far, far better than I could ever have done. The Court thus fitted right into a hole in my brain that I’d been trying to fill for years (that may sound like I’m accusing Tom Siddell of stealing my thoughts. Firstly, no, and secondly, if he is then I’ll let him off in this instance since the result is so good).
So, Gunnerkrigg Court. Go check it out.
(Personally I suspect Jones is the Seed Bismuth, but what do I know?)
Redux
A brave adventure to the caves below…
You know, I still think this is one of the cleverest things I’ve ever written. It explains everything about the clip and includes sly references to dozens (or at least two) other episodes and the series in general.
Reread it and bask in my majesty!
My Personal Hell, Where I Roast in my Shell
Roast in my shell?
It’s that wonderful time of year when it’s cold enough outside for the air conditioning to set itself to heat, but warm enough for the office not to be able to naturally shed the heat that builds up from four guys and six computers working in close proximity.
Result? Sauna time!
Bah!
The End of the Begining
I’ve avoided any political blogging for a bit because it’s all been up in the air since the election. To recap – we’ve ended up with a hung parliament with a bunch of Independents (and one Green) set to decide who’s going to form government. The Green and some of the Independents have already made their choices, leaving just three holdouts to decide the fate of the nation.
Well, today these three are set to reveal their choice. What’s interesting is that one of them – the, shall we say ‘somewhat eccentric’ Bob Katter – has broken ranks and announced that he’s supporting Tony Abbot and the Liberal/National Coalition a full hour before the scheduled press conference. This puts the Coalition and Labor neck and neck on 74 seats.
So, does this mean that the other two Independents are supporting Julia Gillard and Labor, and Katter’s decided he doesn’t want to be associated with them? Or that all three are supporting the Coalition and Bob Katter is just being Bob Katter and jumping the gun for his own Bob Katterish reasons?
Stay tuned…
Later: Katter has now said if the other two go for Labor, he might change his mind…
Later: Tony Windsor has come out for Labor (he likes Broadband and Renewable Energy). Labor leads 75 to 74. The Coalition cannot form government!
Later: Windsor is still talking. He’s never going to have an audience this big again and he’s milking it for all he can get…
Still Later: A work colleague is going to register “tonywindsorpleaseshutup.com”
Again Later: Finally. Now for Rob Oakshot.
Later Later Later: It’s “there can be only one”, get your pop-cultural references right!
Later Still: Oakshot’s as bad as Tony!
Later: We don’t care about your children! Tell us who’s PM!!
Laaaaaateeeeeer: C’mon!
LATER: This is worse than Who Wants to be a Millionaire
later later later later: You can equivocate later! Just give us a damn answer you fool!
Later: We want to go home tonight too!!
Later: i can has gubermint plz?
Later: Finally! Labor has 76 seats! Labor and Julia Gillard it is! Hooray! (Mind you at this point I’d be happy with a new election just to stop Oakfield talking…)
WE HAVE A GOVERNMENT!!!
Asteroid Magnets
It all makes sense!
Dinosaurs are asteroid magnets. We once had dinosaurs all over the planet – what happened? Boom! Asteroid. Go to any museum today – where we keep the dinosaur skeletons – and what do you see? Meteorites. It all makes sense!
On another subject my work colleague Bruce solved all my commitment issues this morning. Unfortunately the issues in question were merely in TortoiseSVN.
The Not So Amazing Race
My strange obsessions come to the fore
Just put a Flickr Set up about the scavenger hunt, treasure hunt, follow the clues madness thing I ran through the city a few months back. There are two photos missing at the moment (I tried to get one of them today but someone was sitting on the clue, inconsiderate so and so!), hopefully I’ll be able to get them soon.
I’m organising a new race shortly – one of the reasons I was in the CBD today was scouting out locations…
Student who electrocuted his nipples sues teacher and school for not warning him it was dangerous
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine…
No. That’s what’s known as a pre-existing condition.
