In light of the current diplomatic problems with Indonesia over asylum seekers, the Howard Government is considering changing it’s refugee policy. Apparently from now on when someone claims political asylum, Canberra will supply all their details back to the Government allegedly carrying out the persecution so they can say whether they’ve been persecuting them or not. Wonderful idea guys, let’s consider the implications…
Scenario 1:
Elbonian*Hopefully Scott Adams won’t mind me borrowing his generic foreign country too much – particularly since the proposed policy change is exactly the kind of thing the Elbonian Government would do. Refugee: My government is persecuting and torturing me!
Australian Government: OK, what are your full details please? (gets details, phones Elbonian Ministry of Torture and Depravation). Hello, have you been torturing [refugee]?
Elbonian Ministry of Torture and Deprivation: No, we’ve never heard of [refugee]! (sotto voice) mwahahaha!
Australian Government: Sorry, your government says they’re not torturing you. Here’s you plane ticket home.
Elbonian Refugee: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Elbonian Ministry of Torture and Deprivation: (waiting at airport) We’re going to torture you twice as hard now you horrible little defector!
Scenario 2:
Elbonian Refugee: My government is persecuting and torturing me!
Australian Government: OK, what are your full details please? (gets details, phones Elbonian ministry of Torture and Depravation). Hello, have you been torturing [refugee]?
Elbonian Ministry of Torture and Deprivation: We were wondering where he’d got to!
Australian Government: Yes, your government has been torturing you, so we’ll allocate you a place in a detention centre for the next 6 years.
Elbonian Refugee: Well, it’s better than the thumbscrews…
Elbonian Ministry of Torture and Deprivation: Well, he slipped away – but thanks to those helpful Australians we know about it and have all his personal details so now we can make an example of his family and friends! Glee!
And continuing with the general stupidity, the Americans may be drawing up plans to bomb Iran, possibly using nuclear bunker busters. Now I know Americans have no sense of irony, but surely even they can see the problem with bombing a country to stop it aquiring evil nuclear weapons, using nuclear weapons? Unless of course American nuclear weapons are ‘good’ nuclear weapons – which frankly is exactly the kind of feculant sewage masquerading as reason that seems to pour out of the Whitehouse these days.
Oh well, if Georgie wants to start the world’s second nuclear war, then who are we, the people, to stop him? 🙁
