I have an admission to make. An admission of a kind that I’d never make under normal circumstances. In fact virtually every instinct in my Geek brain is screaming at me to stop, but I’m sufficiently fed up to ignore them and press on. So, what is this shocking and potentially scarring confession that will horrify and alienate my small yet loyal band of readers? Well, nothing much really.
It is simply this. I have a crush on a friend of my brother’s, and in fact have had a crush on her pretty much for the last eight years. Specifically, Lyndah.
So, why this admission? I’ll cover that a bit later.
Now Lyndah. Lyndah is without a doubt the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I formed that opinion the moment I met her and am yet to encounter circumstances that would cause me to alter it. She is simply stunning. I’ve never known her to look less than fantastic. I was totally blown away the first time Andrew brought her back from uni and continue to be every time we happen to meet (which these days is maybe twice a year or so at some function of his or other).
So, fairly predictably I developed a mad crush on her, and now – eight years on – despite the fact that I hardly ever see her anymore, I still have a mad crush on her. And, well, frankly, I’m sick of it.
You see the particularly dumb thing about this is that really I hardly know Lyndah. We’ve had a few brief conversations over the years at various get togethers and openings, but that’s about it. My attraction to her is pretty much just physical (although I prefer the term “aesthetic” – “physical” makes me sound like I turn into a slavering neandertal every time she walks into the room*I actually turn into a stuttering idiot. In fact it’s annoying. As a Geek I pride myself on my “substance over style” ethic. To have a crush on a girl for eight years based on little more than the fact that she’s astonishingly beautiful is frankly embarrasing.
And what’s worse it’s a cliche. I mean c’mon, the dorky older brother having a secret crush on one of the cool brother’s female friends? It’s the stuff of countless unimaginative teen dramas. I have way too many cliches in my life – some days it seems like there’s little else – so I’m doing away with this one. No more secrecy.
Of course I’m under no illusions of anything coming of this admission. I can’t imagine Lyndah seeing anything much in an overweight, socially inept geek with bad hair such as myself. But that’s not what this is about. This isn’t an attempt to spark some kind of interest from her, or some kind of round-about geeky way of asking her out on a date. It’s simply a case of being sick to death with the status quo, and doing something to change it. Call it empowerment if you’re so inclined (I’m not).
Naturally coming out with all this publicly will make things insanely awkward the next time we happen to run into each other. But hey, talking to her is already pretty awkward for me, this is just a way of sharing the awkwardness around *g*.
So, yes. I find Lyndah insanely attractive and have done for the last eight years. Like woo-hoo, big deal. Now, if no one minds, I’ll get on with my life.
Over and out.
