An old illustration of a mole or shrew or something. It’s posed on a lump of earth surrounded by water and there’s no indication of scale so you can’t tell if it’s tiny and standing on a clump of moss or hundreds of metres tall and crushing a forest. It has webbed feet and a snake-like tail that doesn’t seem to attach to its body properly and a bizarre elephant-like trunk, and despite being an animal its face bears an expression of terrified desperation as if its family is going to be murdered if it doesn’t remain perfectly still for the artist. The picture is titled Sorex moſchatus Pall. which is certainly the kind of name I’d give to something this bizarre looking.
It’s probably meant to be one of these…
(Turns out it’s a Russian Desman (Desmana moschata) – which is even written on the image in French! – but I’m leaving the video)
Got myself banned from Reddit for three days for speculating that if Elon Musk attempted to do to Australia what he’s doing to the United States he’d be shot. This is apparently ‘threatening violence’ despite no mention of any person – let alone myself – actually carrying out the wholey theoretical shooting.
Anyway, the ban has expired and I have full access again, just in time for the site to be flooded with Superbowl and Valentines posts. I CARE NOT FOR YOUR SPORTS OR ROMANCE FESTIVALS, AMERICA! LEAVE ME ALONE!
I am now also startlingly poor after some embarrassingly unwise dipping into my savings account. As such I am organising a fire sale of various things I have been putting aside for years with the intention of selling them. I am also halting my program of generously bagging up my used cans and bottles and leaving them by the bins for the less fortunate – I’m less fortunate now, and will be reclaiming every cent I can as soon as I figure out how to haul them to a recycling centre. I’m also going to prune my library as there are many books in my collection that – while nice to have – I do not need to re-read or reference. Second hand books don’t sell for a lot, but the last time I counted I had well over 1,000 volumes knocking around the place, so that’s got to add up to a bit of pocket money.
I have made a vague new-years resolution to get all my Warhammer 40k tanks assembled and painted before buying any new ones. This is going quite well so far, although I am starting to run low on spray paint. Buying more may have to wait a while in line with my new austerity measures. I’m very happy with how my kitbashed Banewolf is looking – all going well I’ll shortly be able to show off all three Geneva-Convention violating variants of the Hellhound flame tank. Nothing like bathing the enemies of the Emperor in a high pressure shower of molten Uranium Hexafluoride – that’ll learn ’em!
Had a games day over the weekend with Chae, Liz, Paula, and Paula’s new beau Mark. Very enjoyable, although the heat was a bit oppressive. Liz managed to roll nine 6s in a row, which Google assures me is a 1 in 217,678,233,600 chance, which is rather impressive really. Prep for the games day also saw me break out my brand new knock-off Henry Hoover – it’s amazing how clean you can get your carpets when you have a vacuum that actually works.
To finish off, here is Henry Hoover predicting the pandemic…
It’s Hottest 100 day so I thought I’d better get off my lazy backside and post the songs I voted for. Based on previous performances – and the fact that I am an ancient fossil increasingly finding the music preferred by the young folks to be unlistenable crap – I expect that only 3 to 4 of my choices will make it in, with maybe one of them in the top 20. Nonetheless I shall continue to vote until either death, dementia, or the music police take me!
My selections, in no particular order
Close to You – Gracie Abrams
This track grabbed my attention the first time I heard it, and has not let go since. I think it’s the baseline – I’m a sucker for a song built around a pounding 80s style synth base.
Good Luck, Babe! – Chappell Roan
Chappell continues to be utterly amazing. Incredible voice, incredible control of that voice, and amazing songwriting. I consider this the most likely of my votes to make it in, and the only one with a chance at the top 5.
360 – Charli xcx
I’ve always like weird, tinkley, synth sounds – they are somehow pleasing to my autistic brain. This song is entirely made of them.
Cheapskate – Dune Rats
Some good, old-fashioned, energetic pop-rock. You could have released this in 1997 and no one would have bat an eyelid – although the uncanny valley crowd at the motel in the video clip would have terrified everyone.
Touchy Subject – Peach PRC
One of those songs that’s kind of sweet and melancholy until you actually pay attention to the lyrics and realise it’s straight up devastating.
The Future is a Foreign Land – Ghost
I don’t believe I’ve ever heard Ghost played on Triple J, but I still had to vote for this one. Part of Ghost’s Gorillaz-style fictional back story, it’s supposed to be from the 60s version of the band and looks forwards to a 2024 when a fascist regime is no more. Talk about your dark irony…
Disconnect – Fanning Dempsey National Park
A big, rocky, horn-infused track from two of the biggest names of Australian alt-rock of the 90s. There was no way I wasn’t going to vote for this! The video does a pretty clever job of pretending to be filmed in 1980s West Berlin.
Soup – Remi Wolf
If you want for me to vote for you in the Hottest 100 then write a catchy (but slightly melancholy) tune, put big drums behind it and feature an awesome toad in the video clip.
One of Your Girls (Like a Version) – Missy Higgins
I mean it’s Missy Higgins! What more needs to be said?
Physical Medicine – The Rions
I was kind of struggling to come up with a final track, and I remembered this one. Funky beat, catchy chorus, all good!
At the time of writing we’ve just hit 50 in the countdown and only one of these tracks (the Missy Higgins one) has made it in. I’ll update the list as we go.
194 – Touchy Subject – Peach PRC
192 – Soup – Remi Wolf
66 – One of Your Girls (Like a Version) – Missy Higgins
46 – Physical Medicine – The Rions
45 – Close to You – Gracie Abrams
35 – 360 – Charli xcx
1 – Good Luck, Babe! – Chappell Roan
NA – Cheapskate – Dune Rats
NA – The Future is a Foreign Land – Ghost
NA – Disconnect – Fanning Dempsey National Park
YES!! @#^!(%(&%(**(&(&%(&% YES!!! Chappell Roan at Number 1! WOOOO!!
Best number one in years, and with the highest number of votes in Hottest 100 history! Also the first solo female artist to reach number one with their sole entry!!
Excuse my enthusiasm, but I’m used to turning off the radio feeling slightly disappointed at this point, so this is a fantastic change! 😀
Edit: It’s now Monday and they’re doing the 200 to 101 countdown, so I’m updating as appropriate.
The Eldar named them ‘Palustiquendi’ – which is ‘Shelf Elf’ – from their habit of perching in dark and unexpected places to better their spying
The Palustiquendi are the descendants of escapees from the hellish chambers within which Morgoth created the first orcs from captured Elves long before the rising of the sun. Although appearing much as other Elves – Morgoth not having wrought much harm upon their bodies – their minds were twisted by his sorceries long ere their escape, rendering them scheming, suspicious, and duplicitous, quick to anger and fast to seek power by the accusation of others. Indeed, some believe the Palustiquendi did not escape, but were released by Morgoth to serve as spies and agents among the Elves, although any such scheme was doomed, as the ignoble behaviour of these piteous wretches swiftly marked them out among any untainted Eldar they encountered.
The Palustiquendi were all but wiped out during the War of the Jewels in the First Age, with few – if any – surviving the destruction of Beleriand in the War of Wrath. Legends persist however – even unto the present day – of these foul and treacherous creatures pledging their questionable allegiance to those desperate for spies and informants.
You ever read The Silmarillion, man? You ever read The Silmarillion ON PIPEWEED? Oh, there’s some weird shit there man! There’s a hobbit sitting in the bushes, man! Has he got the Ring? I dunno!! FORTH EORLINGAS!! RIDE TO RUIN AND THE WORLD’S ENDING!!
In all seriousness, pipeweed is actually just tobacco.
Known Pisk letters, arranged as per Be’Atell 2007. Note that row letters are labels, not phonetic values, which remain unknown.
Dredged up in a fisherman’s nets near Seven Stones Reef off the coast of Cornwall in 1798 CE the ‘Lyonesse Book’ was a set of four bronze sheets embossed with the longest known text in the written language of the Pisk – an enigmatic, metaphysically-aware culture that was present on the western fringes of Europe for around 1,000 years from approximately 3,500 BCE onwards. The ‘book’ is considered lost – last being recorded in the collection of a frustratingly anonymous Irish Antiquary in 1852 CE – but a number of written descriptions and illustrations (such as the one reproduced above) have survived, allowing it to be determined that the text was stamped into the bronze by a series of dies and that the text should almost certainly be read left to right, top to bottom.
The Pisk corpus is extremely small and to date no Pisk text has been convincingly translated. Thirty-four distinct characters are known (five of which are unique to the ‘book’) suggesting a syllababric system, although a complex alphabet cannot be entirely ruled out. The small semantic space covered by the characters has lead to suggestions that the Pisk were either not widely literate – with the script limited to ritual or other restricted purposes – or had a neural structure resistant to dyslexia.
Failing the discovery of a Pisk ‘Rosetta Stone’ – or at least a much larger collection of texts – it is considered unlikely that Pisk will ever be translated, although it is suspected that a common character sequence (i1, c5, f5) represents the Pisk’s own name for themselves and their culture.
